Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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grounded, need help

I

immrtlwun

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First off, this is my first post, so i would like to thank everyone here for helping me out. I have really come out of my shell since finding this site. Never had a gf before i found this site, since then ive had about three or four and have a few girls interested in me.

Now onto my predicament.

I met this girl through swimming (HB 8-8.5) and started talkin. We saw each other everyday, but now i swim for a different group and hardly ever see her. Ive been out with her with groups, (5-6 people at the movies, 15 people bowling). Through her friends, i know that she likes me and i wouldnt mind gettin with her. I wanna ask her on a 1 on 1 date, but im grounded. I talk to her on IM, but not for too long b/c i dont wanna run out of topics and start sounding retarded. I dont wanna stop talkin to her altogether, but I dont wanna seem needy and talk all the time. Since im grounded, i cant exactly ask her on a date, but i dont want her to lose interest or forget about me.
Any ideas?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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immrtlwun

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it already is summer. And she goes to a different school anyway. But im grounded for the next month or so. Even though it seems AFCish i would really like to get to know her better and maybe get a little somethin.
 
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familyguyfan

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Originally posted by PiHiPlaya
Sneak out... what are you parents gonna do. Ground you longer?
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Yeah.

Or you can say you're goin somewhere else. If you have a job, pretend you're working that night. If not, pretend you're out looking for a job.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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immrtlwun

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Can't do the job thing, I work with my brother, so he can do some spying for my parents. I'm not exactly the smoothest at sneaking out either. I've been caught trying to do it before. But thanks for the help. Besides, my mom might let me out with "good behavior" kinda like being on parole if I help around the house, and I dont want to blow that.
 
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