Gotta Fix This

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It's not really an intentional a55hole behaviour, it's just me being a bit too playful and not giving a 5hit about the outcome. It's like I have no conscience when it comes to my behaviour around women. I think the problem is that our rapport isn't on the same comfort level, and mine is way too comfortable.

Good analysis. Looks like you have a couple of options:

1. Adjust your level of playfulness to be just a little bit more than your date's and when you draw her playfulness closer to your lowered level, raise yours a little more and lead her closer once again.
2. Engage women whose playfulness is already on par with yours.

Each has their own advantages and disadvantages mostly pertaining to time and risk.

 

[Desdinova]

[*]Adjust your level of playfulness to be just a little bit more than your date's and when you draw her playfulness closer to your lowered level, raise yours a little more and lead her closer once again.

This is what I was thinking. Style always insisted that when you approach a group of people, your energy level should just be slightly higher than that of the group. The same can likely be applied to 1-on-1 interactions with women. My problem is I'm usually a high energy person at the best of times, so perhaps I'm just a little bit "too much" for these women to deal with. What I do notice is that having a much higher energy level than a woman you're in a LTR with works very well.

 

[Desdinova]

Update:

Took a fairly new chick out on a date today. I made a considerable effort to keep my 'a55hole' side toned down. She didn't end the date early like the last few. Instead, she was trying to make the date last longer and was bugging me to go to a comedy club with her in the near future.

I think I zeroed in on my problem. I need to be more of a 'nice guy' on first dates

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Glad to hear it's working for you; just don't become too nice. Consider being a "Good" guy. You can treat her like a lady but not without being a man.

 

[Desdinova]

Glad to hear it's working for you; just don't become too nice. Consider being a "Good" guy. You can treat her like a lady but not without being a man.

Not sure if I can be too nice. I teased her quite a bit, but I wasn't mean about it. I think I can let my natural a55hole side come out once I get a few dates under my belt and build a bit more rapport. It just doesn't work well with a brand new woman.

 

[zekko]

I think I can let my natural a55hole side come out once I get a few dates under my belt and build a bit more rapport. It just doesn't work well with a brand new woman.

I could see this. Before she gets to know you, maybe she doesn't know quite how to take you - your a55hole side. Then once she gets to know how you are, then she can see your behavior through the prism of your personality. She can put it in context.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Not sure if I can be too nice. I teased her quite a bit, but I wasn't mean about it. I think I can let my natural a55hole side come out once I get a few dates under my belt and build a bit more rapport. It just doesn't work well with a brand new woman.

Ever consider being more of a bad@ss?

 

[Desdinova]

Ever consider being more of a bad@ss?

I suppose if I dressed the part and rode a motorcycle, it could work in my favour. I don't have much of a desire to get a motorcycle though.

I'm getting better results from cutting out the a55hole part. Went on another date last night with a British redhead and got myself a kiss. All I have to say is it's about fvcking time. She's not super hot, but I may keep her around until I find something better. Besides, a woman's looks are almost irrelevant when they're all low quality.

 

[Die Hard]

Besides, a woman's looks are almost irrelevant when they're all low quality.

I get your thought, but it's quite a pessimistic one and sounds like someone who has "given up".

 

[Desdinova]

I get your thought, but it's quite a pessimistic one and sounds like someone who has "given up".

What I've given up on is the idea that today's women are ideal for marriage and co-habitation. Let me make it clear that I do NOT hate women. What I realize is that they're products of today's feminized society. I see all the good that women have to offer, but I realize that things like loyalty and reliability just aren't part of it. The reality of life keeps on telling me that women with those values simply don't exist. Therefore, I'll keep women around for the good things that they actually have to offer (like Tenacity says "companionship and sex") but I also realize that this is available from women all across the board.

I simply cannot buy into the myth that overweight and unattractive women have better personalities. Their cores values are just as tainted as those of attractive and fit women. However, all of them can offer companionship and sex. As long as I don't find the bytch ugly or smelly, she'll be useful until I lose interest in her or find somebody more attractive. So I'll enjoy my time with her until somebody loses interest.

Life is too short to be excessively selective about the women I fvck especially if there's no real difference in their core values. That good looking high quality woman doesn't exist. The best I can get is a good looking compatible woman, and even those are hard to find. So why not fvck everything in-between and enjoy their company?

 

[ubercat]

Does
Curious - Asians and Latinas don't do it for you?

 

[Tenacity]

What I've given up on is the idea that today's women are ideal for marriage and co-habitation. Let me make it clear that I do NOT hate women. What I realize is that they're products of today's feminized society. I see all the good that women have to offer, but I realize that things like loyalty and reliability just aren't part of it. The reality of life keeps on telling me that women with those values simply don't exist. Therefore, I'll keep women around for the good things that they actually have to offer (like Tenacity says "companionship and sex") but I also realize that this is available from women all across the board.

I simply cannot buy into the myth that overweight and unattractive women have better personalities. Their cores values are just as tainted as those of attractive and fit women. However, all of them can offer companionship and sex. As long as I don't find the bytch ugly or smelly, she'll be useful until I lose interest in her or find somebody more attractive. So I'll enjoy my time with her until somebody loses interest.

Life is too short to be excessively selective about the women I fvck especially if there's no real difference in their core values. That good looking high quality woman doesn't exist. The best I can get is a good looking compatible woman, and even those are hard to find. So why not fvck everything in-between and enjoy their company?

^^ This right here. I'm not sure why some guys use the term "quitter" and the phrase "you gave up" in relation to a man's personal choice to not marry a woman of this market? What exactly did you give up on if you never started anything lol? What exactly did you "quit" on, if there was never anything in motion?

You know what I love about the Manosphere? It's an open field of information coming from a variety of different viewpoints and perspectives. You have the MRA viewpoint, the MGTOW viewpoint, the PUA viewpoint, the Don Juan viewpoint, the Blue Pill guy's viewpoint, and even the good ol' AFC's viewpoint.

With this information, we should as individuals take it and craft an individual/unique plan for our own lives in relation to dealing with women going forward.

I don't SHAME guys for getting married, I state my case against it and say at the end of the day, do what you believe is best for you.

But it baffles me how guys like to shame other guys for deciding that they don't want to participate in a marriage contract? Or participate in being a chick's baby daddy? Or participate in playing house with a chick?

It baffles me.

 

[Vulpine]

Re-reading this couldn't hurt...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=46286

Gunwitch.

 

[Alvafe]

Does
Curious - Asians and Latinas don't do it for you?

and what make you think they would be any diferent?

I have a huge selection of what you guys call latinas, its not any easier

 

[Romanemp22]

Being an assh0le is kinda like being a nice guy - it's boring because it's one-dimensional.

In between your assh0le moments, break it up with stories of your incredible sensitivity. Then go back to being an assh0le.

This.

 

[Fruitbat]

Holy thread resurrection Batman

 

[Black Widow Void]

Personally, I'm glad to see certain postings resurrected.
Within this particular posting, Desdinova seems rather dependent and eager for answers (not a put down, we've all been there) .

I'd rather read something slightly humbling than a bunch of swagger

What are you guys’ standards like?

Hey, I was wondering about what guys’ standards for women are these days. Mine are pretty basic. 1. At least a 7/10 2. Within 3 years of my age 3. Not afraid to have sex (although I understand waiting until after a few dates, etc.) 4. Not a jerk, idiot, or Karen 5. Not possessive 6. Sense of...

www.sosuave.net

 

[Fruitbat]

Personally, I'm glad to see certain postings resurrected.
Within this particular posting, Desdinova seems rather dependent and eager for answers (not a put down, we've all been there) .

I'd rather read something slightly humbling than a bunch of swagger

What are you guys’ standards like?

Hey, I was wondering about what guys’ standards for women are these days. Mine are pretty basic. 1. At least a 7/10 2. Within 3 years of my age 3. Not afraid to have sex (although I understand waiting until after a few dates, etc.) 4. Not a jerk, idiot, or Karen 5. Not possessive 6. Sense of...

www.sosuave.net

I’d expect that from a blue pill white knight like you.
My women beg to put the toothpaste on my brush and worship at my feet.
They made me a tower - the tower of alpha, and I sit in my throne and survey my female slaves and their beta orbiters

 

[Reyaj]

I think Des has been in an LTR since with a younger woman. I haven't kept up with all the threads but I think marriage was being considered if I remember right.

There's been some recent marriage threads I want to chime in on but maybe I'll just make a new thread since there's so many with a different spin to it.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

This.

It's an important point.

But instead of the dichotomy being a55hole/nice guy, I'd frame it as confident/empathetic instead. And make sure these divergent qualities stand out from each other (that is, being pronouncedly confident and pronouncedly empathetic so the juxtaposition is clear, instead of being slightly confident and slightly empathetic as the latter is more boring and less of an emotional roller coaster for the girl).