Got the Tap on the Shoulder

[Stugots26]

Out of town hottie I met and connected with two years ago at a party, her boyfriend in tow, just messaged me last night asking how I was and letting me know they broke up.

She's a couple states away, but I'll call her over the weekend and attempt to set up an opportunity to get together.

Moral: just live your life and be distant but polite to women with whom you obviously have chemistry but who have boyfriends. If they really are interested, they'll hit you up once it's over for the boomerang lay.

 

[RangerMIke]

Moral: just live your life and be distant but polite to women with whom you obviously have chemistry but who have boyfriends. If they really are interested, they'll hit you up once it's over for the boomerang lay.

Truth... But word of advice... usually they don't just come out and say they are no longer involved with someone, typically what happens is that she will reach out to you for for a reason that is a non sequitur.. you have to get it out of them somehow.

Example: last week I had a women who I was seeing a couple of years ago, just out of nowhere ask me where this place was. Like there is no such thing as Google maps. Pay attention when women do seemingly stupid sh!t, there is usually a reason.

I asked if she was coming in town and when. She said she was attending a documentary on an artist that she knew 20 years ago. Then I offered her and her BF a place to stay since the venue was only a few blocks away from where I live. She said "Oh, didn't you here, XXXX and I are no longer together."

Somebody once mentioned on this site that women put themselves in your 'orbit', that is a perfect description of what happens. And that is what happened here. I'm not stupid.... She knows where I live, and a quick Google search you can see when stuff is close. I've never known this woman to be interested in art, much less documentaries, but she knows I am. This is classic female behavior of a women that is putting herself in your orbit to see if you will do anything.

 

[Stugots26]

Very true, RangerMike.

Here, she knew that there was NO way I would know she was newly single unless she told me because our social circles do not overlap, and we're not connected on social media beyond LinkedIn.

But to your point, and for the noobs: it's incumbent upon me to recognize that she purposely waited until AFTER her relationship was over to get in touch with me. If she wanted to friend-zone me rather than bone me, she would have gotten in touch DURING the relationship.

 

[cola]

Yeah great but she's multiple states away. Unless she's making the commute she's useless..
Also I think she knows this. You are safe because you arent close enough to make a move.
You should feel no way about her message. Infact, she just broke up. I'm willing to make a bet she just wants male attention, maybe someone to text with when her ego needs a boost and has no intention of doing anything with Mr FarAsFawk.

Id keep the conversation at "when are you coming to see me" and if she isn't talking dates and times, ignore.

 

[dude99]

Very true, RangerMike.

Here, she knew that there was NO way I would know she was newly single unless she told me because our social circles do not overlap, and we're not connected on social media beyond LinkedIn.

But to your point, and for the noobs: it's incumbent upon me to recognize that she purposely waited until AFTER her relationship was over to get in touch with me. If she wanted to friend-zone me rather than bone me, she would have gotten in touch DURING the relationship.

Actually women never end their current relationship until they already have something else to fall back on. She was probably telling you she had broken up with her bf before he even knew it was coming to see if you would fill the gap even if temporarily.

 

[raider87]

Id keep the conversation at "when are you coming to see me" and if she isn't talking dates and times, ignore.

I like your style.

 

[RangerMIke]

Actually women never end their current relationship until they already have something else to fall back on. She was probably telling you she had broken up with her bf before he even knew it was coming to see if you would fill the gap even if temporarily.

Yep that is a good guess. They usually like to have a grip on the next higher branch before the let go the one they have.

 

[bigneil]

If she's out of state and broke up with him, unless he dumped her (in which case she will take him back in a second) she is very likely already with someone more local. Long distance relationships only work with girls who will openly admit they love you (in writing) every time. But having text romances is a good thing.

 

[Stugots26]

UPDATE: Spoke this weekend briefly, kept it short - she's interested in coming out here, promised to get back to me when she's got her schedule. We'll see what she does with it, but I know how to play it.