ok got the number now what ? Call or txt her and what to say just the old boring old want to catch up when your free ? I find its Too needy?, also I try to avoid weekends to meet up because means I'm too avadaible ? What's your take guys ?
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Got the number is it better to text or call ?
- Thread starter Thechamp
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
MrWood
Master Don Juan
Thursday night text her for a date Friday
"I want to ask you out for a drink Friday, at 8 ok"
never ever ask "when you are free" or "sometime". "are you free this weekend"
Catch up? WTF? yes impress her with old shlt... nothing new, no anticipation, blablabla
Assume they are always free and want to meet you.
"I want to ask you out for a drink Friday, at 8 ok"
never ever ask "when you are free" or "sometime". "are you free this weekend"
Catch up? WTF? yes impress her with old shlt... nothing new, no anticipation, blablabla
Assume they are always free and want to meet you.
I used to be a phone guy. But making conversation with a stranger is just too annoying and it's giving them more opportunity to screen you out for some random thought they had. It's also more investment from your side which would be better spent chasing other girls
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Depends... in my experience older women (40 yo and up) prefer a phone call. Younger like texting better. I have few flakes with younger women I text, it gives them time to make an excuse if they don't want to go out with you. You call them up, put them on the spot, they'll say yes, then their cat has a panic attack, 30 minutes before you pick her up.
I'd much rather a women just flat out tell me she's 'busy', rather than flake on me at the last minute. You know where you stand right away then you can move on. Older women are used to saying no to men over the phone, since when they were teenagers, that's what they did.... younger women were raised with cell phones, messaging, and email.... they don't know how to handle it. It took me a while... and I only really learned this in the last year.
But if you text a woman and ask her out, and she doesn't get back with you in a reasonable amount of time, assume it's a no and move on. For God's sake do not start texting her for an answer. You ask once... wait for a response, if it's more than a day, make other plans.
I'd much rather a women just flat out tell me she's 'busy', rather than flake on me at the last minute. You know where you stand right away then you can move on. Older women are used to saying no to men over the phone, since when they were teenagers, that's what they did.... younger women were raised with cell phones, messaging, and email.... they don't know how to handle it. It took me a while... and I only really learned this in the last year.
But if you text a woman and ask her out, and she doesn't get back with you in a reasonable amount of time, assume it's a no and move on. For God's sake do not start texting her for an answer. You ask once... wait for a response, if it's more than a day, make other plans.
Tictac
Banned
I think that calling is more direct. Voice mail is a pain. Bit if you have a distilled idea of a VM you'll leave if you have to, it still comes off as direct.
Either way, electronic communications are for setting up dates. Not puking your feelings, just keeping in touch or trying to pretend that you are busy.
Either way, electronic communications are for setting up dates. Not puking your feelings, just keeping in touch or trying to pretend that you are busy.
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"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
guru1000
Master Don Juan
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Do you see how your quoted questions surrender you into HER frame? Worried about her impressions of, and how she perceives, you?
Here is the deeper element of your thinking that you need to work on. Frankly, the medium used to communicate is irrelevant.
EyeBRollin
Master Don Juan
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I always call unless she texts first. If she sends me a text, I'll make the date through text right then and there.
Don't respond to text messages until you have a definite time and place in mind.
Don't respond to text messages until you have a definite time and place in mind.
EyeBRollin
Master Don Juan
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It's not that serious.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.