Got the dreaded "nice guy", but more attention?

[hangnailz2013]

del

 

[NobodyCares1]

You should've made a move.

 

[hangnailz2013]

Was about to ask for her number, but the "nice guy" comment just threw me off.

Also she came with a buddy of mine she just met awhile ago. He was defintely thrown into the friend zne and even admitted it. Forgot to add, she blatantly told me they weren't sleeping together. Did not want to look like a doushe right in front of him and everyone and look like im c0ckblocking my friend.

 

[betheman]

Met this chick with a group of about 10 people. Immediate attraction from me.

Without even knowing each others names, we were playing drinking games, and we were playfully fighting, flirting, etc. She playfully punched me a few times, made contact, I made her laugh, made fun of her, acted like a **** in a nice way.

Later on we had a small kind of, "life/what do you do/random" conversation where I continued to make her laugh. Definite chemistry. Even a friend jokingly said in front of everyone, "wow, this chick actually likes you."

After only knowing her for a couple hours, and offering her to come back over again, she stood up to leave and immediately openly came to me for a hug before anyone in the room. It was a tight, definite pressing longer than usual hug. One at the time I was thinking "damn, this chick is into me." I made a joke making fun of her in her ear.

Then i got the dreaded "youre' a nice guy."

She proceeded to give my friends goodbye hugs, but they were all the definite ass sticking out, awkward, "because she gave me a hug, she was obligated to hug everyone else" hugs.

Then saw her look at me and wave one more time before leaving.

Should I proceed with anything? Was the "nice guy" comment the sterotypical "I like you, but not sexually" comment? What's the deal... mixed signals.

did you even get her number? a name?

 

[hangnailz2013]

did you even get her number? a name?

Got her name figured I'd get her number before she left. comment struck me the wrong way

 

[betheman]

"youre' a nice guy."
a lot is made of this and usually and rightly, negatively. in this instance though I think there is still room to pursue. you should really have ignored the comment and continued, she was with another guy after all, she wasnt going to outright tell you I want your pants on my bedroom floor was she?

the key thing to learn from this is dont delay, strike at the first instance, by not doing so, you are affirming the nice guy status. had you suggested a date another time and got the "youre' a nice guy." then you were dead in the water.
not sure how you pursue this now as Im not sure what the social dynamics are

 

[hangnailz2013]

"youre' a nice guy."
a lot is made of this and usually and rightly, negatively. in this instance though I think there is still room to pursue. you should really have ignored the comment and continued, she was with another guy after all, she wasnt going to outright tell you I want your pants on my bedroom floor was she?

the key thing to learn from this is dont delay, strike at the first instance, by not doing so, you are affirming the nice guy status. had you suggested a date another time and got the "youre' a nice guy." then you were dead in the water.
not sure how you pursue this now as Im not sure what the social dynamics are

Come to think of it, I did say "you're welcome to come back if... (then made fun of her, can't remember what)"

Then got the "your a nice guy"

Then told her she should come to one of our parties, and she said she had to work that weekend or whatever, with a look of disappointment.

Sounds like I'm dead in the water. You may have nailed it. I offered for her to come back, then got the "comment."

But I know I'll see her again, she hangs out with my boy a lot who comes over a ton.

 

[betheman]

if you do see her in a similar situation again, play it cool, dont go to her, if she is interested she will make it known, then strike, be direct, confident, get her on her own and get more sexual, that will get rid of the nice guy vibe, if she isnt interested well at least you will find out quickly

 

[Masculinity]

"youre' a nice guy." a lot is made of this and usually and rightly, negatively. in this instance though I think there is still room to pursue. you should really have ignored the comment and continued, she was with another guy after all, she wasnt going to outright tell you I want your pants on my bedroom floor was she?

This ^

This is a perfect example to remind ourselves about the importance of judging a woman by her actions and not her words. OP, I think you overreacted to her comment. The term "nice guy" is demonized in this forum. This, in turn, may have caused you to have a distorted view of the situation and subsequent misinterpretation of the meaning of the phrase (in its actual context). That is, just because her saying you're a nice guy is seen as something negative here does not mean that you should take her comment negatively outside of the forum context. In the actual (party) context, in my opinion, the combination of words resembled more of an "I like you; I really hope to see you again" kind of message, rather than a rejection or friend-zoning effort. You allowed her words to dictate your behavior, and as a result, you decided not to pursue a potentially high-interest female. Learn from it and think about it next time before you want to chicken out--overall, a good post.

PS: if you ever see her again, make the move without hesitation; it is evident to others who were in that context and even to someone reading it on a screen (me) that she was attracted to you. On the other hand, there are times (actually, most times) in which the notorious "nice guy" phrase is, in fact, a sign of disinterest and friend-zoning. Hence, it is critically important to have acuity around different contexts and react in accordance with such.

Keep being money,

-R

 

[FairShake]

Get off this site and live a little more life.

A TON of chicks like nice guys. They like nice guys who are smart, well-dressed, good looking, suave, ambitious, etc.

The guys who get the "nice guy" and no pvssy are none of the above. If you have the above you can be (and probably should be) nice.

 

[hangnailz2013]

This ^

This is a perfect example to remind ourselves about the importance of judging a woman by her actions and not her words. OP, I think you overreacted to her comment. The term "nice guy" is demonized in this forum. This, in turn, may have caused you to have a distorted view of the situation and subsequent misinterpretation of the meaning of the phrase (in its actual context). That is, just because her saying you're a nice guy is seen as something negative here does not mean that you should take her comment negatively outside of the forum context. In the actual (party) context, in my opinion, the combination of words resembled more of an "I like you; I really hope to see you again" kind of message, rather than a rejection or friend-zoning effort. You allowed her words to dictate your behavior, and as a result, you decided not to pursue a potentially high-interest female. Learn from it and think about it next time before you want to chicken out--overall, a good post.

PS: if you ever see her again, make the move without hesitation; it is evident to others who were in that context and even to someone reading it on a screen (me) that she was attracted to you.

Keep being money,

-R

^ You're the man. Thanks for the confidence, I needed that. I thought I was money too, but a combination of the comment and my friend being there (he obviously wants her even though he knows he's in the friend zone) just threw me off. Appreciate it my man.

 

[floydb25]

Meh... I've been called nice, sweet, a good listener, attentive, understanding, etc by women who were VERY interested. I've also been given the friends line - only to have them show interest later, or want FWBs (they always label everyone theyre just ****ing as friends... ALWAYS).

Read nothing into anything. Its not always cut and dry - 'cause most women are indecisive, confusing,and crazy. **** changes, doesnrt mean what you think, etc. This is a good way to get mind-****ed - by deciphering everything, and trying to connect it, so dont. Even her mentioning a BF doesnt mean not interested.

Follow her ACTIONS, attraction, and interest level. If you get blown off, told specifically just friends, given not ready / looking excuses, no signs of romantic interest, moving away from physical contact, no sexual inneundos or advances... Then yeah, lost cause. Otherwise, open opportunity.

Dont dwell on this ****. But dont mistake friendly for romantic, and make sure she's not a tease or AW.