"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Got Phone/business card in front of her BF

Scought

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I am posting this just to re-affirm the 'make her say no' approach to women.

Don't get me wrong, what I mean by make her say 'no' means that when asking for a number, going for a kiss, don't say no for her. Ask her. Most likely you will get a decent response. Don't assume, for whatever reason, that she is or isn't interested. Don't shoot yourself down.

An example:

I saw this girl at a bar I was at last night. I wasn't really out to meet any women. I was just out to relax and have some drinks. Anyway, I notice she is talking to this guy that had tried to chat me up earlier. So, I went to sit down with them in a booth. I didn't know the guy, I didn't know the girl, I just sat down. Fast forward, and this girls "boyfriend" comes and sits down, too. What he said was something about someone talking to 'my girlfriend.'

What I had noticed was that they weren't sitting together. So, what did I do? I ignored him. Just cause he says, "thats my gf" doesn't mean it's true, and doesn't mean she really even likes him.

So, the girl and I get to talking. Her "bf" goes to the bar, so I get a minute for one on one convo. It goes prett well for just meeting her and for her 'bf' being there. I coach basketball and we talk a bit about that. She is from the midwest where hoops is pretty big. Anyway, I tell her that I really feel a connection and that it would be fun to continue this conversation elsewhere, alone.

So, I ask for her number. She hesitates. Looks over her shoulder at her "bf." And than starts to give me her number, but instead says, "here, this is easier." And hands me her business card with her name and number on it.

What's the point of this?
Well, I didn't assume anything. I didn't assume that she would say "no" cause her boyfriend was there. I didn't even assume he mattered. I just ignored it.

All it takes is some small talk on something you have in common. Then acting really into what you are talking about. For us, it was basketball and it's a huge passion of mine, so my speaking about it, really shows my interest. After that, it's "telling her" that you should continue the conversation another time. And how do you do that? Ding, by getting the number. You aren't asking for anything. you are just directing them to continue this 'great conversation' at a later time. And, why wouldn't she want to?

The boyfriend was a loser. I don't like to bag on other guys, but he let others chat up his girl, he didn't act like he was confident, so, I was just doing what I do best. Talk. There were no lines. It was just confidence, determination, and being genuine.

If I had listened to the guy and said, "oh, I shouldn't focus on her' I wouldn't have a number, or a 'no.'

Either get the number, or make them say no. Don't second guess.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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TruthHurts

Don Juan
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I dont condone such display.... when a girl says thats my bf or vise versa you should be respectfull and walk away.. if I was that guy, I would break your nose, and then dump the girl afterwords... I always back away after a bf is involved, never get into domestic violence.... You might be smooth enough to handle yourself.. but the AFC's on this site will just get themselves into trouble...
 

Scought

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Haha, she didn't say a thing to me.

I spoke to her, she enjoyed and I got her number.

He wasn't next to her, they weren't holding hands, they weren't kissing. She said nothing.

If she had a bf, she would have said something.

For all I know, he was lying.

As for fighting......I doubt most people really would want to try to 'break my nose.'

Actions (hers) speak louder than words (his). He could have just been trying to get me to buzz off, and felt insecure.

If i had met her on the street or a bookstore, I wouldn't have known about him, because she NEVER mentioned it. So, it wouldn't be any different. I can't guess who does or does not have a boyfriend.
 

TruthHurts

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Scought said:
I can't guess who does or does not have a boyfriend.

exactly.. that is why you are SUPPOSED TO APPROACH.... and its true some guys lie... and a seasones don juan can tell the diference.. but since you cant tell, once you find out, it is propper to back off...

that is why i would never get mad at a guy if he tried to bust game on my girl (if i have one), cause he supposed to (unless really disrespectfull)... i would politely let em know.. and if he didnt get the point I would through the first punch and lay em out (if he continued busting game on her rudly disregardng me)... and then dumb the girl cause equally her fault too..

Just people have to be aware, sometime you can climb up a wrong tree... Your supposed to bust game and talk to girls, but also know when its time to walk away and talk to the next one...
 
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