"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Got Married

scrapperdog

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I am posting this not so you can say congrats but instead to thank this site and great posters for its help. It is embarassing how clueless I was with women before I came here. Nuff said.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Mr. Me

Master Don Juan
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It's customary to have us all kiss the bride.
 

DJDamage

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This 2 sentence post is unworthy of a post.

The best way you can thank this site is to completly share your story from the begining to present day about who you were before coming on sosuave and who you are now including how did you meet this chick and what qualities you saw in her that made you decide you want to spend "the rest of your life" with her.
 

wjh

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DJDamage said:
This 2 sentence post is unworthy of a post.

The best way you can thank this site is to completly share your story from the begining to present day about who you were before coming on sosuave and who you are now including how did you meet this chick and what qualities you saw in her that made you decide you want to spend "the rest of your life" with her.
I second this sentiment.
 

scrapperdog

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I did not post the story cause I know u guys hear sob stories all the time and I wanted to spare you.

However the facts are this.
1) I was a 36 year old bachelor with no prospects when I joined this site. Well on my way to becoming a life long bachelor.
2) Had not had sex with a girl in 2 years when I joined this site. I am a good looking guy but had given up due to frustration and a sense that I could never make anything work so why bother. I would lose women with my afc ways just as fast as I attracted them with my looks. The rejection hurt more than not trying, so I stopped.

After I joined the site I started trying again. This time armed with more knowledge. Started having sex with women again. Like many of the older guys here I was not looking to bang a bunch of broads but to open my options with the goal to find someone that it might work long term with.

Eventually I met a girl she is 6 months older than me and not a perfect 10 but she is funny with an awesome personality, has a graduate degree and great career as a high school teacher, owns her own house, and treated my daughter very kind and gentle. I fell for her, and it happened. Honestly I dont think this would have ever happened without this site.

I read you guys advice and took the DJ bible to heart, and my results improved quicky. Not overnight, it was a struggle, but they did improve. Eventually, women were calling me instead of always the other way around like it used to be. Even though I did not post I took a lot of inspiration from the people who do post here.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Aenigma

Senior Don Juan
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How long were you two dating, how long did you know her before you got married?
 

Freddy1

Master Don Juan
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scrapperdog said:
I am posting this not so you can say congrats but instead to thank this site and great posters for its help. It is embarassing how clueless I was with women before I came here. Nuff said.
(If your really married or thinking of getting marry.)
Whatever you do always hide a portion of your assests from a women. Trust me. I know alot of guys who got married and regretted it badly later on. Play it smart. Dont say no one warned you.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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squirrels

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A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
scrapperdog said:
I am posting this not so you can say congrats but instead to thank this site and great posters for its help. It is embarassing how clueless I was with women before I came here. Nuff said.
Congrats, man. Hope it's the "real deal" and not the ol' "bait-and-switch". Many happy years.
 

Aenigma

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The funny thing is I thought about posting a thread here when I got married too.....
 

PeeGee

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J Roc said:
*waits for the divorce thread*
My brother had this saying that cynicism is okay when it's right.

We shall see. The only advice we should be giving men who are married and feel they've 'won' the game is that the game is not over, and not to quit being a DJ. Espouse the philosophies until the day you die, and the 'divorce thread' crap will not happen. Or it will happen under your terms.
 

sodbuster

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As a divorced guy, I'd second the part about never letting your guard down. She can never see the insecure you or she will dispise you. Keep up the DJ attitude. Say no once in a while-just because. Keep her wroking for your affection etc. Keep growing and improving so she knows you can still pull a woman if you wanted to. As long as she's in a competition with another possible woman, you'll get treated better.

As an ex wife of the author of No More Mr. Nice Guy told him" How can I trust you to stand up for me, if you can't stand up TO me"
 

STR8UP

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sodbuster said:
As a divorced guy, I'd second the part about never letting your guard down. She can never see the insecure you or she will dispise you. Keep up the DJ attitude. Say no once in a while-just because. Keep her wroking for your affection etc. Keep growing and improving so she knows you can still pull a woman if you wanted to. As long as she's in a competition with another possible woman, you'll get treated better.
That's great advice for ANY relationship, and I believe it goes x10 for a marriage.

Never underestimate the power of competition anxiety. You can get away with a lot of shady sh!t as a man JUST by keeping a woman flustered over the possibility that you will replace her. You can also use this constructively simply maintaining the implication that you always have options.

PeeGee said:
My brother had this saying that cynicism is okay when it's right.

We shall see. The only advice we should be giving men who are married and feel they've 'won' the game is that the game is not over, and not to quit being a DJ. Espouse the philosophies until the day you die, and the 'divorce thread' crap will not happen. Or it will happen under your terms.
Totally.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that marriage is the beginning of a completely NEW challenge.

I have never been married but I have seen enough divorces to know how it commonly plays out, and it's usually the woman getting bored or losing attraction because the guy becomes complacent.

Marriage is the time when you step UP your game, not when you quit playing.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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