"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

got farthest i've ever got with a girl

L

LaDanian Tomlinson

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so last night i met a chick(7.5) at a club. we danced for about an hour and made out on the dance floor twice. now i have very little experience in making out and everything else like that so i definatley was ****ty. the farthest i've ever gotten was making out. but anyways, i led her to my friends car and we made out for like thirty minutes. then i put my hand up under her shirt and felt up her breasts, then took off her shirt, and then her braw. i was stoked. then we made out a little more and i got to finger her. her vagina was harry as ****! it was like a bush! it was crazy. but i put her hand in my pants but she just wouldnt touch my **** at all!? whats with that? so i just fingered her while her shirt was off then my friend came cuz we had to go. but it was pretty tight cuz i'm 18 and never gone past making out. and then last night i got her shirt off and got to finger her! so i'm pretty stoked right now. but you guys think i did ok? anything u would change? and why wouldn't she play with my D? and why the **** is she so harry? thats kinda gross. but i feel pretty good right now. it has taken a while, but i've never had more options in my life and i'm definatley becoming more pimp. yeeeyyaaaa
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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M

michaelhctam

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LaDanian Tomlinson said:
so last night i met a chick(7.5) at a club. we danced for about an hour and made out on the dance floor twice. now i have very little experience in making out and everything else like that so i definatley was ****ty. the farthest i've ever gotten was making out. but anyways, i led her to my friends car and we made out for like thirty minutes. then i put my hand up under her shirt and felt up her breasts, then took off her shirt, and then her braw. i was stoked. then we made out a little more and i got to finger her. her vagina was harry as ****! it was like a bush! it was crazy. but i put her hand in my pants but she just wouldnt touch my **** at all!? whats with that? so i just fingered her while her shirt was off then my friend came cuz we had to go. but it was pretty tight cuz i'm 18 and never gone past making out. and then last night i got her shirt off and got to finger her! so i'm pretty stoked right now. but you guys think i did ok? anything u would change? and why wouldn't she play with my D? and why the **** is she so harry? thats kinda gross. but i feel pretty good right now. it has taken a while, but i've never had more options in my life and i'm definatley becoming more pimp. yeeeyyaaaa
Click to expand...
Well I think the reason she didnt touch your ding dong is because she dosent want you to percieve her a $lut in the morning and therefore increasing her chances of being percieved as just another piece of meat if you know what I mean.

Was it THAT hairy? Damn......I never gotten as far as you (in terms of bases) so I congradulate you for progressing in your path to becoming DJ :up:

What a pvssy feel like inside?
 
D

DonDan

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....lol....^^^ y do people think this way?

she didnt touch it cus she was too busy enjoying getting fingered.
 
R

Rex Man

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um....... ok first of all congratulations on your exploration Christopher Columbus.

But

A) You should have fvcked her, she's a slut, plain & simple.

B) Who cares if she didn't touch your piece, you should have whipped it out and got to work

C) Did you at least try to get a follow up?

D) Plz don't get feeling for this girl. (She will do this again)

E) Life isn't a porno, so as gross as it is, you may see the occasional bush. Depending on the severity, it can make you completely knock you out the mood.

F) Don't start kissing your own @ss quite yet. Complacency yields nothing.

But good work though.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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L

LaDanian Tomlinson

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michaelhctam said:
Well I think the reason she didnt touch your ding dong is because she dosent want you to percieve her a $lut in the morning and therefore increasing her chances of being percieved as just another piece of meat if you know what I mean.

Was it THAT hairy? Damn......I never gotten as far as you (in terms of bases) so I congradulate you for progressing in your path to becoming DJ :up:

What a pvssy feel like inside?
Click to expand...
her hair was real soft it felt like a hamster. inside, it felt like a sea urchant. it was wet and it reminded me of a sea creature.
 
C

Charm

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LaDanian Tomlinson said:
her hair was real soft it felt like a hamster. inside, it felt like a sea urchant. it was wet and it reminded me of a sea creature.
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Next time im fingering a girl ill be sure to tell her "Your hair feels like hamster fur and vagine is soft like sea urchant. Wet like creature from the sea."

Borat could learn from this guy.
 
L

LaDanian Tomlinson

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Rex Man said:
um....... ok first of all congratulations on your exploration Christopher Columbus.

But

A) You should have fvcked her, she's a slut, plain & simple.

B) Who cares if she didn't touch your piece, you should have whipped it out and got to work

C) Did you at least try to get a follow up?

D) Plz don't get feeling for this girl. (She will do this again)

E) Life isn't a porno, so as gross as it is, you may see the occasional bush. Depending on the severity, it can make you completely knock you out the mood.

F) Don't start kissing your own @ss quite yet. Complacency yields nothing.

But good work though.
Click to expand...
a. actually, she's not a slut, she is a virgin. your right though i should've kept progressing but i didnt cuz we had to go. but maybe i should've tried to **** her anyway.

c. follow up? like her number? yes i have her number and she is way into me.
 
L

Leporello

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Maybe she wanted a guy who can spell 'bra'.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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P

petah2001

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similar thing happened to me once. I was making out with a girl and we were both topless. I rubbed her between the legs with her pants still on and her hips started gyrating like crazy like she was really into it. I then briefly went down her pants. She started feeling me up so I took her hand and guided it down my pants. she touched it for a while but stopped immediately and her anti slut mechanisms immediately turned on. She claimed somebody was calling her and she took off.

She was kinda hairy too, must be those type of women.
 
M

MilanoRedDC5

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I've only slept with one girl who had hair down there...

It was actually the last girl I slept with, #5 for me.

It freaked me out, but I ****ed through it. I do prefer shaved!
 
J

jamescr73

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LaDanian Tomlinson said:
her hair was real soft it felt like a hamster. inside, it felt like a sea urchant. it was wet and it reminded me of a sea creature.
Click to expand...
this is the funniest thing ive ever read in my life.
 
T

Thomas94305

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LaDanian Tomlinson said:
her hair was real soft it felt like a hamster. inside, it felt like a sea urchant. it was wet and it reminded me of a sea creature.
Click to expand...
Gave you some quality points for that one.. still lol'ing. So.. them plastic pvssy companies got nothing on going to the sea shore and grabbing a soggy one? That'll make a weird American Pie sequel..
 
R

realsmoothie

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LaDanian Tomlinson said:
her hair was real soft it felt like a hamster. inside, it felt like a sea urchant. it was wet and it reminded me of a sea creature.
Click to expand...
God DAMN that's the best description of the tactile characteristics of the vulva I've ever heard.

Kinda gave me a boner.

Though I think it's sea URCHIN. LOL.


Ladanian: please give me permission to use it as my signature! Half-kidding.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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R

Rex Man

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a. actually, she's not a slut, she is a virgin.
Click to expand...
:crackup:
:crackup:

Okay.... *wipes tears from eyes*

Well good luck and make sure you give us the update. :rockon:
 
C

Cruise

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I think she didn't want to grab your slim jim because, I mean, how many chicks wanna get caught in a car outside a club with a d.ick in her mouth? Does it make sense to you? Yeah, me neither.

I guarantee you she would've put out if you had another place to take it. Keep working at it.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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