Got ditched on New Years

[Industry]

I've been dating a girl I've known for years lately. We had plans for New Years and the day before she texted me and said that she had to cancel because she was hanging out with her girlfriend.

The "old" me would of said "Oh thats OK I'll talk to you in 2008!"

But no. The new "alpha" me said...

"I don't appreciate you breaking plans with me, especially on New Years. It shows what little respect you have for me. I hope you have fun, but please don't call me again."

It's the first time I've really done that to a girl.

Good move?

 

[Poonani Maker]

I've been dating a girl I've known for years lately. We had plans for New Years and the day before she texted me and said that she had to cancel because she was hanging out with her girlfriend.

The "old" me would of said "Oh thats OK I'll talk to you in 2008!"

But no. The new "alpha" me said...

"I don't appreciate you breaking plans with me, especially on New Years. It shows what little respect you have for me. I hope you have fun, but please don't call me again."

It's the first time I've really done that to a girl.

Good move?

Well, if you've never had to correct THIS one for breaking your boundaries, then it's a good move, but if you've already let her push you in the past then no matter what you say now, she will take it with a grain of salt. It's all about consistency. Be inconsistent and watch her treat you like another one of her floosey gfs who play "who's more popular?" games.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

I've been dating a girl I've known for years lately. We had plans for New Years and the day before she texted me and said that she had to cancel because she was hanging out with her girlfriend.

The "old" me would of said "Oh thats OK I'll talk to you in 2008!"

But no. The new "alpha" me said...

"I don't appreciate you breaking plans with me, especially on New Years. It shows what little respect you have for me. I hope you have fun, but please don't call me again."

It's the first time I've really done that to a girl.

Good move?

Not bad. Your are 100%. Texting instead of calling for something like that was a total chicken zhit thing to do. She already had plans with you, and something like hanging out with her gf came up? That was totally handled well, yet I would have phrased it a little different:

"I don't appreciate you breaking plans with me, especially on New Years. It shows what little respect you have for me. I hope you have fun, but don't call unless you are ready to make it up to me. You are on probation for that. I don't tolerate second class behavior."

And yes, the guy that makes poonani is correct. She only gets one second chance. Otherwise, just forget it.

 

[Industry]

Well, if you've never had to correct THIS one for breaking your boundaries, then it's a good move, but if you've already let her push you in the past then no matter what you say now, she will take it with a grain of salt. It's all about consistency. Be inconsistent and watch her treat you like another one of her floosey gfs who play "who's more popular?" games.

No I've never had to correct her before. This is the first time and I refuse to let any woman treat me like that.

 

[Industry]

Not bad. Your are 100%. Texting instead of calling for something like that was a total chicken zhit thing to do. She already had plans with you, and something like hanging out with her gf came up? That was totally handled well, yet I would have phrased it a little different:

"I don't appreciate you breaking plans with me, especially on New Years. It shows what little respect you have for me. I hope you have fun, but don't call unless you are ready to make it up to me. You are on probation for that. I don't tolerate second class behavior."

And yes, the guy that makes poonani is correct. She only gets one second chance. Otherwise, just forget it.

Man that is effing gold. I went a little to black and white I guess. Oh well. Live and learn.

 

[Axcell]

It's great - I just hope you had VERY deep rapport with her during the time you were together to ensure she comes running back. A little dry - but it was a good read. I personally would have called her and said something a long the lines of that, texts show weakness.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

No big deal. I also think she will initiate contact, and I bet she will attempt to text you, instead of having to actually face you in a phone dialogue.

Give her the "you're on probation" treatment until she comes up with a way of making it up to you, and let her earn your approval. Let her jump through your hoops. You need to come to terms on the fact that you are done with this one, unless she earns the privilege back.

 

[AFC Savior]

stop analyzing shyt like a girl

you told the bytch that she's a bytch, good job! now man up and forget about it - its the past, you cant change the past, DONT EVER QUESTION YOUR DECISIONS!! YOU ARE THE KING OF YOUR OWN WORLD

 

[Industry]

She got back to me and all she had to say was...

"Wow. I'm not sure how to respond to that. It's a bit harsh. I'm sorry if I disappointed you. I never meant to on purpose."

 

[Desdinova]

I agree that you went a bit over the top. You can teach a woman NOT to disrespect you, but you need to give her a second, and only one second chance to learn from her mistake.

It's your call how you want to handle this. You can completely get rid of her, or you can say "Don't do this again" and perhaps she'll learn.

 

[Industry]

i think he messed himself over personally.

you ended it right there bud imo, and I have some girls at my house atm and they said "yeah you just said you broke up with her"

I might agree with you.. but if I had said it more like what 'Gangter of Love' was saying I should have, would it of made a difference?

... you have girls over watching you read a website on how to pick up women?

 

[Gangster Of Love]

She got back to me and all she had to say was...

"Wow. I'm not sure how to respond to that. It's a bit harsh. I'm sorry if I disappointed you. I never meant to on purpose."

She already is trying to make you look like the bad guy. No accountability, or remorse on her part. That is what most broads do. She will tell herself and friends, "Well, he was being rude, plus I rather hang out with my girlfriends."

Don't expect much out of this one, as this incident has showed you how she is thinking. Yet, for the pure hell of it, and for the sake of your entertainment, and our entertainment, and for the sake of testing out stuff as a learning experience, if she texted you the above, just respond back with:


"Well, I am very selective as to who I share my time with, so I expected better from you. How will you make it up to me?"

Her response, if she does, will tell you wether she's a "giver" or a "taker". Trust me, you don't want to get involved with a "taker". So use the above response as another screening technique and take the frame of you being the selector here. Keep us posted.

 

[tsmith2334]

I think you overreacted, and apperently she does too. Plans get broken all the time, it sucks. You learn to get over it. I'm not saying brush it off, but sending her a bitter text really doesn't accomplish much. She's starting to avoid hanging out with you anyway, acting offended and hurt isn't going to do much.

I would have told her I had a good time with the guys on New Years, acted a little annoyed and maybe removed myself from her for a week based on her responsivness.

If you think what she did is bad, wait until a girl REALLY tries to test you.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

If you think what she did is bad, wait until a girl REALLY tries to test you.

Ouch!!! That is so true!

 

[Interceptor]

Everything was cool until "Please don't call me again".

This line shows how deeply affected you are by her. Thus, how insecure and needy you are.
Like was mentioned, if you had establishe deep rapport, this could've hurt her strategically, but if not, this looks bad on you.
It makes you appear insecure and needy, and too overly sensitive, man. I'm sorry.
but it's true.

So now, she's reacting, and feeling that you are not that independent, and self assured.
Now, this still doesn't excuse her action of picking her GF over YOU.
If you guys are 'official' and exclusive, then it is obviously a power move for her to neglect you and hang with her girl on New Year's Eve.
If you're officially a couple, you DO NOT choose a friend over your partner.
Now, she may try to flip the script and call YOU on your insecurity and neediness, and over sensitivity.

Thsi is why it's important to assert yourself, but not be daming, condemning when 'calling' a female on her BS, because when YOU mess up, you can BE DAMN SURE she will rip into YOU for it to get back at you.

Always always ALWAYS keep your composure.
Never ever ever lose your cool. Never never.

Now you look like an emo chump and may be in an awkward postion to actually apologize for shotgunning her action.


Learn from your mistakes.


Mature masculine men try to live their lives without having to apologize.

Think about that.
Good luck, and keep us updated.

 

[Industry]

Well she got back to me... texted me while I was at the gym.

"I will definately make it up to you. You'll find out when I am home again.

Thank you for choosing to spend time with me. You know I always love spending time with you.

Off to bed. Goodnight."

 

[SickAgain]

This shows what kind of respect you have for yourself if you try to salvage this. You said that the AFC would have said see you in 08, well if you see her in 08, you are still an AFC. And you know OC b!tches think their sh!t don't stink, so you'll just set yourself to get played in long run. But seriously if a close friend blew me off on the biggest party day of the year to kick it with someone else, male or female, I would be extremely offended, but I'd have to forgive. But if you're not banging the girl I don't see the big deal either way.

 

[gruby]

sounds like u r at the end of the rope with this one.

her breaking the plans means that she's not into you that much anymore. and her BS advice sound slike a number of girls when we were at the end of the lines...

her answer about making it up to you is a temp happiness, but reality is you guys are through.

 

[WhitePimp]

Yeah I would just try to fvck her senseless while looking for other girls at this point. Win/win for you...:rockon:

 

[ready123]

ignore most of the crap responses on this thread. your head was in the right place trying to be assertive. since you never acted this way before, you were a little too harsh due to incongruence, like Interceptor pointed out.

next time you're in a situation where you need to assert yourself, will your communication be better? of course. that's what matters