Got a job and most of my co-workers are hot girls. How would I go about gaming? (Continued)

[SW15]

Do you know how much money bartenders make on a decent weekend?

I do not.

They do NOT want to give up their shifts. The bartenders at the college bars on the strip where I've been frequenting are the same bartenders as when I went to school there. Their top earner makes my monthly wages in a weekend - and this is while being tipped by college kids who can barely afford the drinks. Imagine how much one could make at an equally popular spot with people who aren't broke.

For a short time, I was looking into getting work as a bartender and had some affluent friends at my old gym try to set me up with some people they knew at popular spots in town. I could not even get a job as a barback.

The barbacks who are now bartending at these college bars are often bartending at multiple bars, since they cannot get the in-demand shifts and sections, seeing as the veteran bartenders get first pick of those.

I didn't know bartending had that sort of longevity. Waiting tables, bussing tables, fast food, and store level retail have all been known for short term work durations.

I have heard of male and female bartenders having sex with each other and female bartenders having sex with bouncers.

Not to say that getting a non-sales, non-commission-only office job would be much easier, but I wouldn't want to lose my job for some pu**y if my goal were to become a bartender.

The job market in 2025 is brutal in most office work type fields.

I don't recommend in most cases to get sales rep jobs. Sales rep jobs have a high failure rate. Corporate marketing is also a lousy path. Marketers get laid off all the time and often for the flimsiest reasons.

Sales and Marketing are the complementary disciplines and the 2 worst disciplines for job security in white collar work.

 

[Oatmeal31]

You wouldn't usually hang out outside of the bar, at least not initially. You would just make small talk with whoever's there at the end of the shift and establish yourself as a cool, chill guy. I would assume your girls' friends may show up to see them at work, in which case they would also see you - even if they don't hang around until closing time.

But ok, if you're willing to ignore all warnings, my suggestion would simply be to ask these girls if they want to grab a drink at some other bar after your shift/some other night.

There's really not much to it other than that. But by doing this you're essentially committing to ONE girl, who may not be interested in you, and if any others are interested they may no longer be after seeing they're not your first choice - hence my recommendation to let them throw themselves at you and play the long game.

There is certainly some novelty to being the mysterious "new guy", but I doubt they're in competition to sleep with you, or anybody else, first.

No, I rarely see their friends. Wouldn't matter if they see me either way, unless I was able to outside of work


I will be asking one to a drink soon and go from there. I was going to bank on fvcking her so good that she'll want to brag about it, and the others will get jealous and want in. That was the idea. I'm going to have to keep interacting with them in some way if I want them to throw themselves at me, otherwise I'll be invisible like the other barbacks/bussers.

I don't think they're in a competition, but the goal was/is to get them to that point

I'm just experimenting. I don't wanna get too invested in all this. It's dangerous, and a big reason why I will never abandon cold approaching. I like having options, not limiting myself to potential wishy washy coworkers

Chances are that I lose my job are slim, unless I crossed boundaries. I try to be aware of when not to pursue/escalate out of self-respect

 

[BPH]

I was going to bank on fvcking her so good that she'll want to brag about it, and the others will get jealous and want in. That was the idea.

That's not how it's going to go down.

If these girls are at least "work friends" with each other, you'll only have the chance to choose one.

If you hit it off and do a good job banging her out, the other girls won't step on her toes because it will be known that you two are hooking up, and will give her space because it may lead to a more serious relationship.

If she's not interested, girls will talk, and everybody else will realize they weren't your first choice, and therefore are unlikely to be interested in being your backup.

Of all the girls I've f***ed, I've never once had any of them "refer a friend". If you're doing a good job, they won't want to share. If you're not doing a good job, they're not going to talk highly of you.

 

[Oatmeal31]

That's not how it's going to go down.

If these girls are at least "work friends" with each other, you'll only have the chance to choose one.

If you hit it off and do a good job banging her out, the other girls won't step on her toes because it will be known that you two are hooking up, and will give her space because it may lead to a more serious relationship.

If she's not interested, girls will talk, and everybody else will realize they weren't your first choice, and therefore are unlikely to be interested in being your backup.

Of all the girls I've f***ed, I've never once had any of them "refer a friend". If you're doing a good job, they won't want to share. If you're not doing a good job, they're not going to talk highly of you.

Yeah, idk. I've definitely gotten more interest from other girls after being softly denied before. They probably saw me as a guy that is bold enough to take action. I think that if she has any problem with me, it can absolutely turn into rancid gossip and backfire. But if it's amicable, depends.

I'm willing to test things out

 

[Gamisch]

It sounds like your job sucks. Start looking for a better one. When you find one, you can put in your two weeks notice, and then do whatever you want for those two weeks:

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

youtube.com

It depends on the importance of the bartending job. It is easier to get another bartending job than office-based job that typical requires a bachelor's degree or higher and experience.

While I never recommend any office workers try to date/seduce co-workers, there's way more gray area in the service sector space.

I'll limit my reasons to only 3 ;

1.jobs don't grow on trees. IIRC the American economy is in a free fall. Gone are the days when you could job hop like a colorful little bird while employees beg you to work for them for whatever salary you demand.

2.If OP didn't need the job he would have it..

3. You train yourself to be a loser. Getting fired is a loser thing. Regardless of the position.

Bonus: 4. Don't poop where you eat. If you are " that guy" according to the ladies you'll notice. Don't force things that ain't there.

Listen to @BPH ( who seems to have made a growth in his mentality and way of thinking and priorities) .

 

[RangerMIke]

To the OP... totally normal female behavior.

There is a difference between attraction and interest. It is completely normal for a woman to be attracted and send buying signals out to a man she finds 'attractive'. As soon as she realizes that he doesn't have what she wants, she loses interest.

Men are different, and this is why many men are confused by this behavior. If we are 'attracted' that is pretty much all we need, and it takes us MUCH longer to lose interest, to the point we will leave, because of a woman's behavior. We like to think that women are the emotional ones: men are the rational. But when it comes to relationships... women can be brutally rational... with men morphing into pathic simps when relationships start going sideways.

The more a man simps... the less respect she has for him... the faster he swirls down the drain.

 

[SW15]

Don't poop where you eat. If you are " that guy" according to the ladies you'll notice. Don't force things that ain't there.

Most men working white collar jobs have been following the "don't poop where you eat" advice for at least 20-25 years.

Fewer men have been starting romantic interactions at work since the 1990s. A lot of that trend has been the result of changes in the white collar environment. Sexual harassment culture started in the 1990s. Feminist HR managers have been enforcing sexual harassment culture since that then and men have had a target on their backs for that.

I graduated college in 2005 and have been working in this sexually oppressive white collar environment for my entire career. Most white collar workplaces now discourage any interactions that have even the slightest sexual element to them.

The non-white collar environment is better about this. Women don't tend to work blue collar jobs so blue collar men don't have that option.

jobs don't grow on trees. IIRC the American economy is in a free fall. Gone are the days when you could job hop like a colorful little bird while employees beg you to work for them for whatever salary you demand.

This is true. It's been challenging to get a white collar job during most of the past 20 years.

Right now, it is a terrible white collar hiring environment.

 

[Bible_Belt]

The job market depends on where you live. There are almost zero white collar jobs near me. But McDonald's starts at $15/hr. Entry level retail is $20, farm help for cash is at least $20. All of these jobs are always hiring and can't get enough workers. The best bang for your buck is an apprenticeship with the electricians union. I think it is two years working for $20/hr, then you make $50-75/hr. $100k+ owning your own company.

 

[Prepostereax]

To the OP... totally normal female behavior.

There is a difference between attraction and interest. It is completely normal for a woman to be attracted and send buying signals out to a man she finds 'attractive'. As soon as she realizes that he doesn't have what she wants, she loses interest.

Men are different, and this is why many men are confused by this behavior. If we are 'attracted' that is pretty much all we need, and it takes us MUCH longer to lose interest, to the point we will leave, because of a woman's behavior. We like to think that women are the emotional ones: men are the rational. But when it comes to relationships... women can be brutally rational... with men morphing into pathic simps when relationships start going sideways.

The more a man simps... the less respect she has for him... the faster he swirls down the drain.

Women often reveal this huge fantasy laundry list about what they're looking for in a man.
So when something promising comes along, they might be tempted to sample the goods..

This fluctuating selectivity applies not just to relationships, but shopping and pretty much everything in life.
For example, whenever my wife shops, whether for clothing, household items, whatever.. if she ever actually finds something that matches her dream criteria sufficiently that she'd purchase it, there's a high chance she'll return or exchange it..
To me, this is a colossal waste of time and energy, but to her, it's part of the game, playing princess.

OP can apply this by not revealing too much about himself.. just enough that some girl might want to try you out for a spin.
Be playfully mysterious.

 

[Clockwerk50]

That's not how it's going to go down.

If these girls are at least "work friends" with each other, you'll only have the chance to choose one.

If you hit it off and do a good job banging her out, the other girls won't step on her toes because it will be known that you two are hooking up, and will give her space because it may lead to a more serious relationship.

If she's not interested, girls will talk, and everybody else will realize they weren't your first choice, and therefore are unlikely to be interested in being your backup.

Of all the girls I've f***ed, I've never once had any of them "refer a friend". If you're doing a good job, they won't want to share. If you're not doing a good job, they're not going to talk highly of you.

My issue with OP’s thinking is that he seems to believe sexual performance alone is enough to attract coworkers, like that’s the main factor. But that skips over everything that matters before you even get to intimacy. Since women are usually seen as the gatekeepers of sex, their desire tends to come from emotional connection and feeling valued, not just physical chemistry. And if men are seen as the gatekeepers of commitment, then women are also looking for stuff like consistency, emotional presence, and protective energy.

Instead of banking on performance, OP should really look at it through the lens of social proof. People are drawn to those who seem wanted by others, it’s just how we’re wired. That kind of perceived desirability sparks competition and increases attraction. Desire is imitative and competitive: we want what others want, and we want to be the one who wins.

And yeah, you’re right, he’s got limited bullets in the chamber. In a close work setting, every move counts. If he gets turned down more than once, it can damage his reputation and make things awkward for everyone. Also, as you said, most women also won’t want to be the backup plan and move on quickly from a potential suitor.

 

[BPH]

My issue with OP’s thinking is that he seems to believe sexual performance alone is enough to attract coworkers, like that’s the main factor. But that skips over everything that matters before you even get to intimacy. Since women are usually seen as the gatekeepers of sex, their desire tends to come from emotional connection and feeling valued, not just physical chemistry. And if men are seen as the gatekeepers of commitment, then women are also looking for stuff like consistency, emotional presence, and protective energy.

Instead of banking on performance, OP should really look at it through the lens of social proof. People are drawn to those who seem wanted by others, it’s just how we’re wired. That kind of perceived desirability sparks competition and increases attraction. Desire is imitative and competitive: we want what others want, and we want to be the one who wins.

And yeah, you’re right, he’s got limited bullets in the chamber. In a close work setting, every move counts. If he gets turned down more than once, it can damage his reputation and make things awkward for everyone. Also, as you said, most women also won’t want to be the backup plan and move on quickly from a potential suitor.

Completely agree, and exactly my point.

As I said in my initial advice, and in my advice on this newer post, I would not game them unless they threw themselves at me.

But if OP is committed to shooting his shot, that's fine, so long as he's not deluded into thinking it's going to go nearly as well as he thinks it is.