The Master Disaster
Master Don Juan
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List some good ways to find out if she has a boyfriend i'm running out of ideas. She just avoids the question and then wants to talk about something else.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Good Ways To Find Out if...?
- Thread starter The Master Disaster
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
MVP¤¥¤JI€GALO
Don Juan
Can you just not go out and ask her? "hey wheres your bf at?" man just ask.
The Comeback Kid
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 4, 2005
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I think you gotta be more assertive when you ask her this. Make her answer the question. By this, I do not mean forecfully (physical), but don't give in until you have an answer.
For example:
You: Hey, do you want to go (insert place) tonight?
Her: Uhh.................
You: Oh, ok, you must have a boyfriend.
Her: Hey, how about this fine weather!
You: You didn't answer my question.
Her: Ah, it looks great outside
You: Hey! (not too loud so she gets upset - just assertively). Do you have a boyfriend or not? Look, I'm not going to get upset, I'm not going to get mad, just please tell me if you have a boyfriend or not. Nothing bad is going to happen.
Now I've never really faced this situation, so they may be some flaw in there a fellow DJ here may detect. Nevertheless, do not give in until you get your answer. If she tries to change the subject, don't let her until you get your answer. This also shows her you are not some pushover and you are in control.
For example:
You: Hey, do you want to go (insert place) tonight?
Her: Uhh.................
You: Oh, ok, you must have a boyfriend.
Her: Hey, how about this fine weather!
You: You didn't answer my question.
Her: Ah, it looks great outside
You: Hey! (not too loud so she gets upset - just assertively). Do you have a boyfriend or not? Look, I'm not going to get upset, I'm not going to get mad, just please tell me if you have a boyfriend or not. Nothing bad is going to happen.
Now I've never really faced this situation, so they may be some flaw in there a fellow DJ here may detect. Nevertheless, do not give in until you get your answer. If she tries to change the subject, don't let her until you get your answer. This also shows her you are not some pushover and you are in control.
[]D [] []V[] []D
Senior Don Juan
use some reverse pyschology... if a girl ignores this question, chances are that
1) Shes been abused by her boyfriend (on the edge of a breakup or some sh1t like that)
2) You have SO much social status that she doesnt wanna say she doesnt have one or else shell lower her social satus even more.... or
3) Shes so happy with her boyfriend taht she doesnt wanna say no to you (kinda playing you) or else youll feel rejected or what not...
Take your pick.
Chances are she does...
1) Shes been abused by her boyfriend (on the edge of a breakup or some sh1t like that)
2) You have SO much social status that she doesnt wanna say she doesnt have one or else shell lower her social satus even more.... or
3) Shes so happy with her boyfriend taht she doesnt wanna say no to you (kinda playing you) or else youll feel rejected or what not...
Take your pick.
Chances are she does...
Never say "well you must have a boyfriend" because then she'll come to the conclusion that you like her and it destroys the mystery. Instead of doing that; just say something like " Sometime we will have to go out to the movies" if she says "ok, sure" then you can come to the conclusion that she is "single" if she is hesistant about answering you, she probably has a relationship. If she says "sure" say something like "cool, but it will be my choice of movie because I don't want to get stuck watching some chick flick or diary story" she will probably laugh and say " ok " if she is hesitant, and says " I have a BF" just say "That's fine, I'll just take *insert name* she has been dying to go to a movie with me" 
...whatever you do, don't sound sad if she's going out with someone.
...whatever you do, don't sound sad if she's going out with someone."She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
pimpfromdayone
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2005
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- Age
- 40
Yeah, always act completely indifferent to the fact she has or does not have, a boyfriend. What I like to do is just work the question in there real smooth, but ask it in an indirect way, so it isn't really a true question. I act like I know she has one for this to work. For instance, if I am flirting with her, and she is being intentionally annoying, I might say,
"How does your bf put up with you?"
If she is testing me and trying to get me to do something for her, such as asking me to get her a present for her b-day, I might say,
"What's the matter, didn't your bf get you anything?"
If she is being REALLY flirtacious and stuff, and I know for a fact she has a bf, I like to say, in a serious manner with a seductive grin,
"I'm sure your bf appreciates you flirting so much with me."
or just call her a big flirt or something. Act like you know she wants you. This might open her up to the subject and make her want to talk to you about how she can be your bf since she now knows you are a man of character who doesn't need to mess with other guys' gfs.
Finally, if she is trying to boss me around (testing again) and telling me what to do, I always say,
"Sorry, I'm not your bf."
So you see, in these ways, you can bring up the subject without ever even asking the question. Asking the question is almost always a bad idea. If you do it like I do, she is likely to respond with "I don't have a bf," and then your problem is solved. I find it particularly powerful because if you act like you don't really want her and basically tell her she should pay more attention to her bf and not you, you have also become the man she can't really have. Well, do what you want, but I personally would never directly ask her. Like, if she gives me her phone #, I basically assume she DOESN'T have one until she says otherwise.
"How does your bf put up with you?"
If she is testing me and trying to get me to do something for her, such as asking me to get her a present for her b-day, I might say,
"What's the matter, didn't your bf get you anything?"
If she is being REALLY flirtacious and stuff, and I know for a fact she has a bf, I like to say, in a serious manner with a seductive grin,
"I'm sure your bf appreciates you flirting so much with me."
or just call her a big flirt or something. Act like you know she wants you. This might open her up to the subject and make her want to talk to you about how she can be your bf since she now knows you are a man of character who doesn't need to mess with other guys' gfs.
Finally, if she is trying to boss me around (testing again) and telling me what to do, I always say,
"Sorry, I'm not your bf."
So you see, in these ways, you can bring up the subject without ever even asking the question. Asking the question is almost always a bad idea. If you do it like I do, she is likely to respond with "I don't have a bf," and then your problem is solved. I find it particularly powerful because if you act like you don't really want her and basically tell her she should pay more attention to her bf and not you, you have also become the man she can't really have. Well, do what you want, but I personally would never directly ask her. Like, if she gives me her phone #, I basically assume she DOESN'T have one until she says otherwise.
lol who cares if she has a boyfriend....whenever a guys around any girl that i might be cool with i go and put my arm around her and say so what are we doing tonight.....lol and if its her boyfriend, she gets angry and trys to fight me (verbally)...and hes the one that looks inscure not me.....its great how these jealous guys can lift up ur game!