Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Good material on how to handle flakes?
- Thread starter Borknagar
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
The Bad Ass Canadian
Master Don Juan
A lack of real interest is why any woman will flake, so figure out if there's something about your "game" that you need to work on, to generate a higher interest level.
Killing desperation and neediness is key to keeping the flakes at bay.
EDIT: This one as well
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=87214
Sometimes they'll come around, other times they won't, but it has to be on their terms.
Meanwhile, just keep building your prospects and seeing multiple women. When one flakes, go out with the next...and so on. Women criticise men for being players, but they only have themselves to blame in my opinion.
The Bad Ass Canadian
Master Don Juan
yup.Jariel said:
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
But someone said earlier flakes are only a problem if you are not gaming multiple women. Concentrating on just 1 woman is seriously limiting and hurting your options for success. If you're seeking knowledge you don't read just 1 book you read a couple. Same concept applies with women. If you're seeking secks you need to seek a couple women as many if not most might not work out but as long as one does it makes it worth it.
Borknagar
Master Don Juan
Oh trust me I agree with you 200%, I do meet multiple women, trust me I do, I have several interests right now(which gets kinda confusing) but I'm trying to figure out how to totally PREVENT it from happening!Jariel said:
What you said about being players, you hit the nail on the head with that one, I've been saying it myself for awhile now, they only have their own sisterhood to blame!
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
You and me both mate! I've had a LOT of chicks flake on me over the years, either cancelling a date last minute or just waking up one day deciding to ignore me. It frustrates the hell out of me, but I've never been able to understand what goes through their mind...especially when they've been really into me/obsessive just the day before.Borknagar said:
The only way I've been able to prevent it is to keep cool. I used to make the mistake of asking a girl out and once she accepted, I'd sometimes get a bit complacent thinking "I've got her". I'd contact her a bit too often before the date, reply to her texts too quickly, say too many complimentary things (i.e. "I've been wanting to ask you out for ages" or "can't wait to see you"). Granted, they say the same sort of things, but I think it pays to remain fairly indifferent until the date and let your actions speak louder than words. Then, even if that first date goes amazingly well, don't fall into the trap of acting too keen...even if she's white hot for you! That's been another of my mistakes.
Sometimes girls flake because they're not that interested or if there's another guy, but you can usually tell if that's the case. If they're really keen to begin with then suddenly go cold or flake out, it's probably because they fear getting trapped.
In the early stages of dating girls like to keep their options open and feel a sense of freedom. Even the slightest signs that a guy is too into them or might be too hard to brush off down the line will threaten that sense of freedom and so they'll bail out before it gets to that stage. Even if they really like the guy, they still want to know they have options (if you've ever been shopping with a woman, you can see how their minds work).
Basically, the best thing we can do is just stand back, give her space and wait for them to make their mind up. This is where it feels quite futile being a man, and we hate that feeling! Meanwhile, all we can do is just get on with things and find distractions (and other women
).This is just my opinion and what I've gained from my experiences. I don't think I'll even know for sure what goes through the heads of these women!
perseverance
Guest
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Igetit!
Moderator
Borknagar said:
I don't know of a whole lot of advice or material on flake prevention,but I suggest you have a look at the info in my signature to see it if can help you out. I've suggested it to a few members before and it's gotten them the results they were after.
Here are three to name a few.....
VIKING22: He has a thread HERE called "Girl with a crazy work schedule-How do I make it work?".
Check out replies #5,#14,and #17.
RANDALLP:He has a thread HERE called "What now?"
Check out replies #17,18,27,and #31....ESPECIALLY #31.
CLONEOFSTENYHOYER: He has a thread HERE called "Girl,me"
Check out replies 1-4,11 and 12,then jump down to #16....especially #16.
I suggested it to them,and they all seemed pretty content with the results they got,so maybe it can help you too.
Later man.
Alchemystic
Banned
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Don Juans just search for other girls in his collection.
Take note of the word "collection" That's a clue.
refer to the Book of POOK. Multiple back - ups of women.