"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Good hobbies/ ways to socialise?

parkthebus

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So far I have:

Learning a language.
Reading.
Learning an instrument.
Playing sports.
Watching sports.
Bars/clubs.
Becoming a sports umpire.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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dillj

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writing poetry, acting, playing guitar and singing are what get the women, in US. If you don't want to be bothered, go get a third world woman. There's thousands of very highly desirable women who will do almost anything to come to the USA.
 

parkthebus

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writing poetry, acting, playing guitar and singing are what get the women, in US. If you don't want to be bothered, go get a third world woman. There's thousands of very highly desirable women who will do almost anything to come to the USA.
I'm actually doing it for reasons other than impressing females. I just split up with my mrs' and moved into my own place, realising I don't have any friends in the country I've moved to and nothing to pass the time.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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I've had luck with:

toastmasters
acting class at local community college
cooking class
yoga class
volunteering

toastmasters is excellent, as there are new people every week (most people bail out) and there's usually some core group hanging out afterwards. It's also a great way to boost your self confidence. There's also likely a lot if you live in a decent sized city, so you can check out a bunch, to find the right fit.

Then there's also the support group circuit like in Fight Club.
 

LiveFreeX

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Magic The Gathering (Abroad)... I'm finding the local nerds who play boardgames are insufferable SJW ****s.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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FairShake

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Reading, learning languages, and learning an instrument are largely solitary pursuits. Music and Languages can get you out more once you're better though. I made a lot of friends while playing at various folk jams in my area.

Most people make their friends at work or the bar. Maybe golfing at the club if you are older and richer. Probably mountain biking/cycling if you are younger and richer. And watching sports and playing fantasy football if you are poorer. That's a hard and fast rule not completely accurate.
 
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parkthebus

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Reading, learning languages, and learning an instrument are largely solitary pursuits. Music and Languages can get you out more once you're better though. I made a lot of friends while playing at various folk jams in my area.

Most people make their friends at work or the bar. Maybe golfing at the club if you are older and richer. Probably mountain biking/cycling if you are younger and richer. And watching sports and playing fantasy football if you are poorer. That's a hard and fast rule not completely accurate.
How do you play fantasy football in a social context?
 

FairShake

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It's something for guys to talk about. Fantasy players can yack for hours about how their team did.

I know a couple fantasy leagues that meet in bars for drafts/trades/sh!ttalking.
 

parkthebus

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It's something for guys to talk about. Fantasy players can yack for hours about how their team did.

I know a couple fantasy leagues that meet in bars for drafts/trades/sh!ttalking.
Is this American footy though?
 

Mike32ct

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Dance classes are pretty good, but it takes a while. The reason is that most people show up right before class starts and leave as soon as it ends. So there isn't a lot of time to chat, but the point is that you become a regular and people become comfortable with you. Then you run into the same people at social dances or other events and you're "in."
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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