"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Good Conversationalist

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pinhas

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Hi guys,

I have a serious issue that I need to work on, but I cant seem to manage. I feel that what stops me from meeting and approaching women is my "self proclaimed" lack of conversation skills. This is exactly where the problem lays, as I am not bad with talking and people, I just feel that I am and that stops me from approaching.

I am decent looking, smart and worldly; I have a great sense of humor and when I get "in the zone" I am actually a decent "DJ" and can hold my own. The problem is that its hard for me to achieve that zone too often.

I know its all in my head, and I tell myself that I should not approach because I have nothing interesting to say (probably not even true); but I cant to get over that mental blockage.

When I do approach, my mind goes blank and I stick with the boring, AFC introductory questions and I am having a hard time building attraction and escalating.

I red the Bible and other posts about conversation skills, but non of that seems to help me. I really need some help with this issue, its stopping me from achieving true progress.

Can anyone share some ideas or tips on this matter. I know that experience and field testing is the best way, I just cant get myself to approach.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Alexander

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Get drunk :)
The problem doesn't seem to be your conversation skills, mostly your anxiety. I believe that if you're the one being approached, you can hold the conversation quite good. It just comes with experience, once you feel confortable with women and stop putting them on a pedestal, it all comes natural.
 
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stayfly

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you need to build a new belief and adopt a better strategy

ask yourself, "what would you need to do to know that you're a great conversationalist"?

for me it was studying 3 or 4 books on communication and conversation and applying / intergrating the key learnings. then I started dating anyone and everyone and practicing getting good at conversation and general social interaction.

then for strategy, I'd suggest keeping ur approaches short and sweet. keep it simple and get contact details to setup a coffee date or similar. talking too much on the initial approach can be counter productive - save it for the coffee date.
 
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ALPHAROMEO

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Prescription

prescript your convo your Qs your nrgs

use the same Qs THE SAME NEGS
 
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pinhas

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ALPHAROMEO said:
prescript your convo your Qs your nrgs

use the same Qs THE SAME NEGS
Click to expand...
See the thing is I don't like using scripts. I feel silly saying these things and to me they sound un-natural. I am much better at coming up with stuff on the spot and try not to rely too much on routines.

I think its just an issue of self confidence and anxiety. I will try getting some books of communication and interpersonal relations.

I red How to Make Friends and Influence People and I learned a lot from it; any other books you guys can recommend?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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ALPHAROMEO

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freeflow

pinhas

prescripting your convos is the only way you never at a los for words
i know this cos of my lessons i am a teacher also and i always write out my Qs in advance , the Q s i m gonna ask the students i have a list of tenty Qs for each students

professional journalists do the same

naturally after a while you start freeflowin between the Qs
after work i am naturally beat so what i do when i see a HB i just don t rack my brains finding fresh or unusual stuff to tell her i just utilize my ol scripts
 
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Irs88

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stayfly said:
you need to build a new belief and adopt a better strategy

ask yourself, "what would you need to do to know that you're a great conversationalist"?

for me it was studying 3 or 4 books on communication and conversation and applying / intergrating the key learnings. then I started dating anyone and everyone and practicing getting good at conversation and general social interaction.

then for strategy, I'd suggest keeping ur approaches short and sweet. keep it simple and get contact details to setup a coffee date or similar. talking too much on the initial approach can be counter productive - save it for the coffee date.
Click to expand...
care to share those 3-4 coversation books? I would really appreciate it. THanks.
 
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stayfly

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Irs88 said:
care to share those 3-4 coversation books? I would really appreciate it. THanks.
Click to expand...
I can't remember the titles sorry. There was nothing remarkable about any of them but they gave me some simple tips and proved to myself that there wasn't any key skill out there I was missing.
 
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stayfly

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ALPHAROMEO said:
pinhas

prescripting your convos is the only way you never at a los for words
i know this cos of my lessons i am a teacher also and i always write out my Qs in advance , the Q s i m gonna ask the students i have a list of tenty Qs for each students

professional journalists do the same

naturally after a while you start freeflowin between the Qs
after work i am naturally beat so what i do when i see a HB i just don t rack my brains finding fresh or unusual stuff to tell her i just utilize my ol scripts
Click to expand...
this is a really good point

can you share some of your basic scripts so I can get a better idea of how you did it?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Irs88

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stayfly said:
this is a really good point

can you share some of your basic scripts so I can get a better idea of how you did it?
Click to expand...
i feel that its good to have that when you run out of things to say. But don't make the whole conversation threaded. You wont succeed. Been there done that. If anything, use the scripted stuff when you sense an awkward moment coming up(girl or you not talking for a few seconds).
 
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pinhas

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ALPHAROMEO said:
pinhas

prescripting your convos is the only way you never at a los for words
i know this cos of my lessons i am a teacher also and i always write out my Qs in advance , the Q s i m gonna ask the students i have a list of tenty Qs for each students

professional journalists do the same

naturally after a while you start freeflowin between the Qs
after work i am naturally beat so what i do when i see a HB i just don t rack my brains finding fresh or unusual stuff to tell her i just utilize my ol scripts
Click to expand...
I see you point. That does sound like a good starting point.

Can you suggest where to look for a good scripted convo? Any guides on achieving a good "flow"?

Thanks
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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