"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Going to ask her out! LTR

ColonyConfused

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So our classes start in 2 days, and we would be in the same class, its a language institute, we're attending Italian. i haven't done much DJ actions on her, only successful eye contacts, no kino yet, but if we sit next to each other at the class, i'm going to kino her. i haven't done anything crazy yet, so she has no idea what i feel about her, at least i left her at that state that we're only friends. since i like her for a LTR.
ok, so i was thinking when the classes start, after a few classes, i'm going to ask her for a date at my favorite Coffee shop, (yeah i know), but she loves coffee shops so do i. i have already told her about that coffee shop, she seemed interested, but i didn't say "we should go there sometime".. i'm planning to do so.
i'm kind of in a state of relationship with 3 other girls, they're very interested, but i feel very attracted to this one.

So.. any advices?.. or tips?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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LearningSlowly

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ColonyConfused said:
So our classes start in 2 days, and we would be in the same class, its a language institute, we're attending Italian. i haven't done much DJ actions on her, only successful eye contacts, no kino yet, but if we sit next to each other at the class, i'm going to kino her. i haven't done anything crazy yet, so she has no idea what i feel about her, at least i left her at that state that we're only friends. since i like her for a LTR.
ok, so i was thinking when the classes start, after a few classes, i'm going to ask her for a date at my favorite Coffee shop, (yeah i know), but she loves coffee shops so do i. i have already told her about that coffee shop, she seemed interested, but i didn't say "we should go there sometime".. i'm planning to do so.
i'm kind of in a state of relationship with 3 other girls, they're very interested, but i feel very attracted to this one.

So.. any advices?.. or tips?
You titled the post including LTR, but you definitely are not in an LTR yet. As I see it, that's your problem. You have unreasonable expectations for this girl.

Maybe you think that since she's in your class and you'll see her a lot, it'll work out perfectly, and it might, but why not wait and see?

I will say that if you're going to see her a lot, this has the potential to go very well. Just get to know her before you're pushing for a LTR. Getting to know her definitely includes sex, which is the fun part after all.
 

ColonyConfused

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LearningSlowly said:
You titled the post including LTR, but you definitely are not in an LTR yet. As I see it, that's your problem. You have unreasonable expectations for this girl.
you're right, i've always been a dreamer, but my dreams are not on false hope, i might win it.

LearningSlowly said:
Maybe you think that since she's in your class and you'll see her a lot, it'll work out perfectly, and it might, but why not wait and see?
Yes thats why i'm going to wait another week, see her actions, and after all see if she's interested too.

LearningSlowly said:
I will say that if you're going to see her a lot, this has the potential to go very well. Just get to know her before you're pushing for a LTR. Getting to know her definitely includes sex, which is the fun part after all.
oh yeah i'm looking forward for the fun part, she's absolutely an HB, and she's very into Arts and Movies, and there's a good movie on screen now, she hasn't seen it yet, thats another opportunity to start the kissing part with. what do you think?..

p.s, its all going to happen in (at least) next week, so i'll figure her out in this week.
 

Cashew

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You are definitely in fantasyland about the whole Long Term Relationship idea. My advice would be to not even think of the two of you in terms of any sort of relationship or potential relationship. Don't bring it up in conversation. Don't mention it to her or anyone else. Scour that concept from your mind. Completely. Just go out to have some fun, just be two people having a good time together.

It might lead somewhere, it might not. Those pieces will fall into place on their own without you ever even needing to think or say the word "relationship." Because in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter what it is or becomes.
 

ColonyConfused

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Thanks Cashew, will definitely use your advice, it will work with her without a doubt, she's that kind of person.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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ColonyConfused

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ok i fuc*ed up the first meet, we had nothing good to talk about, only talked about class and teacher, and i gave her what she had asked me for, a few weeks ago. when we were saying goodbye, i had the chance to take her to her home, but i didn't, i fuc*ed it up.
she's very shy, and the thing is that i get shy too when i'm near her, i'm not even close to being a shy person, but today i was acting like a 40 year old virgin... ahh. i'm perfect with other girls, its just her that i feel shy with. and dam* i feel addicted to thinking about her.. :/.... Help me!!! i dont want to be an AFC anymore!!
 
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