Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Going on a trip to Spain

SmoothSmooth

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if you dont believe me - ask yourself this simple thought experiment -

could you imagine your mom or sister going on a 'no strings adventure' with a stranger from another country? how much romantic adventure do the females in your family seek?
most women waste their early 20s dating one or two edgy alpha types that they feel COMFORT with, and keep returning to, they get fixated on those men... and then settle into beta types. maybe a couple drunk hook ups sprinkled inbetween

yes, normal women are boring and less romantic than men. the pedestalisation comes from men that arent surrounded by women. women dont see men, how men see men. they see things practically.

romance films, sitcoms and novels are written by men for women.

a 'wild' time for most girls is getting super drunk at a club and making out with a hot guy lol. men are way more drawn to adventure and know how to REALLY have fun.

guys, dont waste ur time with these forums and theories. just build your social value and looks to the point where you are competitive with the hot girls (in social value and image)...and theyll want to be around you. then just be totally normal, take it slow and offer loads of comfort/rapport. you will drown in pu$$y

even in terms of a womans ovulation, only a couple days a month does she 'seek' the strongest seed. that means the majority of the year she is looking for comfort. 340 days a year she is in 'comfort' mode and yall based your game on adventure LOL

why do women obsessess over celebs like justin beiber? VALUE (rich, looks) and COMFORT (social proof, he is safe and well known/highly publized, other women like him so she feels comfortable liking him too)
 
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SmoothSmooth

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guys on these forums struggle with women because they dont see women how they really are; but how they wish them to be

most men are looking for an object of reverence, worthy of complex theories and tactics, a mysterious creature they can idolise...and women play into this! with their makeup, clothing, behaviour etc designed to provoke a sense of 'strangeness'...a sense of there being a hidden wall between men and women....which really doesn't exist

by the way, the 'hotter' the girl...the higher her desire for value and 'comfort' ... and lower her desire for 'hookup' and 'novelty'. because hot girls are obsessed with preserving their social identity

men on these forums think women have a hidden 6th sense for all things related to seduction and romance, which causes them to behave in a manner which comes across as unnatural/gamey.
when a girl meets an attractive man, all he needs to do is show enough value, build comfort/rapport (get to know her), maintain a neutral/relaxed body language and vocal tone, and escalate physically quickly whilst the 'spark' is still there
 
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BackInTheGame78

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no, boring men get laid just as much as exciting ones. in fact, its been shown in studies that being indifferent and boring on OLD leads to better results than being exciting and interesting.

go and speak to the average woman and ask her if she's ever had a 'no strings romantic adventure' with a stranger from another country. the answer would be no for 90% of women.

im not saying being exciting isnt a great tool (i always try to be spontaneous and have mini advnetures on dates and it sets me apart), but im saying comfort comes before all of that. women are seeking comfort not adventure, adventure is just the icing on the cake if u wanna blow her away. but if u have high value and just turn up to the date and be boring and build rapport, you can just as easily get laid (she will see you as 'mysterious'/'mature').

the game is objective VALUE (social status, looks/height/body, social skills) and comfort/rapport. thats why most cold approach leads nowhere (no comfort) and most dating coaches have ugly girlfriends (dating coach is a low social status profession, unless they become famous/millionaires which was a thing of the past).

once u realise how simple it is - value and comfort, u no longer need forums and theories.
Nah...I am not sure what kind of women you like to hang out with but thankfully they aren't the same ones I do.
 

SmoothSmooth

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Nah...I am not sure what kind of women you like to hang out with but thankfully they aren't the same ones I do.
i date hot girls age 19-23, if we post them here im sure my girls are more attractive than yours
dont resort to insults
 

BackInTheGame78

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i date hot girls age 19-23, if we post them here im sure my girls are more attractive than yours
dont resort to insults
Awesome! I used to love guys like you...you'd bring the girls to the club for me. If you ever lose your GF for an hour or so, check the DJ booth...pro level tip.
 

SmoothSmooth

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Awesome! I used to love guys like you...you'd bring the girls to the club for me. If you ever lose your GF for an hour or so, check the DJ booth...pro level tip.
i dont take girls to the clubs...i meet them for drinks then its back to my place
 

Bigpapa

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Trip went really well for the first several days, then she turned into a complete bvtch near the end of the trip.

For some context - she had crazy high sex drive and even said how important it was to her. She initiated sex every time and we had been fvcking raw and I was nutting inside her from the first night on. She loved dirty talk and had previously said she loved how I came inside her.

On one of our last nights, we were fvcking and I early on she says "don't *** inside me". I say okay, and later I say "how about you finish me off" and she says "no" in a seemingly playful tone. I then try to physically hoist my torso closer to her (she was under me) and notice some resistance and playfully say "what if I just made you do it?". I ended up cumming on her body, and after we were done she turned to face the other side of the bed and basically stonewalled me. After a while I say "I assume you're upset about my comment?" and she says "obviously", to which I say my comment was just dirty talk and meant nothing.

Later, it turned into this huge fight where she hurled several insults at me and turns into a total b!tch. She claims was upset over my refusal to apologize for my "sick comment". The next day (thankfully our last) she was just as bitchy and cold, and was condensending as hell. Were it not for my lack of phone network data and the costs of getting around on my own + new hotel, I would have loved to hasve just spend the last day alone.

Anyway, no harm no foul; she wasn't really my type anyway. In many ways just another typical hot blonde "thot" obsessed with social media who would stare at herself in the mirror at every opportunity. ADHD as hell, and kind of annoying to talk to as she randomly interrupted and didn't listen to what I said. Lots of makeup, hair styling, etc. Vain and incredibly entitled attitude. She even said she was used to using her looks to get whatever she wanted from men. Her personality was such a turn off that I didn't even enjoy the sex that much despite her fantastic body. I'm pretty sure the fight she had was actually a bait and probably had already lost interest/respect in me earlier that day and simply used the fight to rationalize it.

The trip itself was still great, especially the first 4 days, and I am glad I went, but next time I won't be going with some random girl I meet on IG. In fact, I think I'd really enjoy going on a trip like that by myself.
 

Bigpapa

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Awesome! I used to love guys like you...you'd bring the girls to the club for me. If you ever lose your GF for an hour or so, check the DJ booth...pro level tip.
Club djs if will bang girls , will be after things close not during

also , djs are overrated . Bartenders , bouncers and even pickers bang way more than djs , unless you are in Ibiza or any other party places

actually bartenders bang the most out of all the club employees . Have a couple of friends that used to be bartenders in a couple of high end clubs during their 20s

Every time we would meet they would talk about 2-3 different girls that they banged or close to banging them . And we would meet every 2 weeks or so

and good quality too

I think that a bartender from a high end club or even a decent one , if he has a really sex drive and is not too picky can bang 1 girl per day easily
 
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BackInTheGame78

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Club djs if will bang girls , will be after things close not during

also , djs are overrated . Bartenders , bouncers and even pickers bang way more than djs , unless you are in Ibiza or any other party places

actually bartenders bang the most out of all the club employees . Have a couple of friends that used to be bartenders in a couple of high end clubs during their 20s

Every time we would meet they would talk about 2-3 different girls that they banged or close to banging them . And we would meet every 2 weeks or so

and good quality too

I think that a bartender from a high end club or even a decent one , if he has a really sex drive and is not too picky can bang 1 girl per day easily
I was a club DJ and I can tell you I was the star attraction...most of them are if you are going to any decent size club. Bouncers and Bartenders do well also.

All the dudes and promoters wanted to be cool with me and the girls wanted to bang me as "status". Especially once they saw me hanging out with "big name" DJs that would be flown in around town and in the club and at after party's.

Plus I was fairly well known since I had multiple residencies for a few years at clubs that got over 1K people a night.

And I can also tell you that I got my d!ck sucked while DJing on several occasions. Would always make sure to put on a long 11-12 minute record for those occasions hahaha

It was so long ago that it almost feels like a different lifetime now. Completely different lifestyle...sleep til noon everyday, Tuesday and Thursday were big days to get the new imports and domestics that came out at the record store...would spend pretty much all day there sourcing records for that week.

Work Friday and Saturday nights from 10pm til 2am at the club and then however long if there was an after-party or house party I was at...

Easy sex with smoking hot women who basically worked hard to pick me up...

Seems almost surreal when I think back on it now.
 

ubercat

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There s many ways. Comfort works but normally combined with some edginess. In relationships you need to shake it up a bit because familiarity breeds contempt. And also keep showing your affection. I ve always thought the kiss goodbye and welcome home are important. Instant reminder that you're not roommates
 

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One other thing, she was on birth control - from what I know most BC pills trick a woman's body into thinking she's pregant which in turn makes he desire the "beta provider" types (look it up, there are even studies on this).

I think once she found out I wouldn't fit in that role, she was rather upset and instead of handling it like a mature adult, she shvt tests me with a bait/trap then turns into a stone cold ***** when I don't cave in.

I keep telling myself I will stop taking women seriously and giving them the benefit of the doubt but I keep doing it anyway. I am sincerely hoping this will be the final nail in the coffin for me and convince me that I need to test them a lot more and get them to prove themselves to me. I'm not a high and mighty prize but I do provide much more than the average man, and I don't ask for much, jesus christ women make me sick.
 
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Bigpapa

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One other thing, she was on birth control - from what I know most BC pills trick a woman's body into thinking she's pregant which in turn makes he desire the "beta provider" types (look it up, there are even studies on this).

I think once she found out I wouldn't fit in that role, she was rather upset and instead of handling it like a mature adult, she shvt tests me with a bait/trap then turns into a stone cold ***** when I don't cave in.

I keep telling myself I will stop taking women seriously and giving them the benefit of the doubt but I keep doing it anyway. I am sincerely hoping this will be the final nail in the coffin for me and convince me that I need to test them a lot more and get them to prove themselves to me. I'm not a high and mighty prize but I do provide much more than the average man, and I don't ask for much, jesus christ women make me sick.
if you think about it … going in Holliday with girls is provider thing

most likely the problem in your case is that you were not congruent : doing both what a provider and what a lover would do

which in return caused her to not know exactly what is going on so started testing you to see what is the real truth
 

FlexpertHamilton

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if you think about it … going in Holliday with girls is provider thing

most likely the problem in your case is that you were not congruent : doing both what a provider and what a lover would do

which in return caused her to not know exactly what is going on so started testing you to see what is the real truth
Is it though? Why can't two short term lovers enjoy a trip in a foreign city?

I already told her we cannot be a couple anyways, before the trip, since we're 1000 mi away.
 

Bigpapa

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Is it though? Why can't two short term lovers enjoy a trip in a foreign city?

I already told her we cannot be a couple anyways, before the trip, since we're 1000 mi away.
So why do you do couple things ?

going to vacation together is what couples do

on top of that , just being a lover has a very short expiration time . Very rarely it lasts more than 2 months . Mainly this happens because women do not want to waste time with guys who will not commit ( is their internal mechanism of defending from time wasters )

most of the time the lover side does not lasts more than a couple of bangs if she does not get the feeling that you can be a provider

lover attracts , provider retains . You have to find a balance
 

SmoothSmooth

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agreed
holiday = provider
as i said before, women are not the romantic or adventurous sex.
anything involving any tinge of thoughtfulness/caring = provider...
but this isnt bad a thing.
most attractive women will not bang a guy who does not have a balance of both lover and provider. 'game' is essentially the ability to balance both.
dont listen to any dating coach who claims u can have beautiful women lined up by just sex appeal/being a lover. doesnt work except with women significantly below your smv that are hungry for validation. or women with serious issues. theres a reason why the beautiful women in clubs are standoffish and aloof but the average ones are kissing/dancing with random guys.
OP, there was just a misunderstanding. u thought she wanted a lover gateaway. she wanted a provider. shes 26 and approaching the wall. in the future, keep things simple and be more realistic in your impressions of what women want from you. most of the attractive ones want some kind of commitment. especially if they are over 23. if you don't want her to act weird, then keep the 'provider' game to simple things like dinner dates, deep convos, watching netflix whilst cuddling etc rather than lavish holidays
 
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