Giving her stuff back after breakup

[RedScorpion]

Hey all,

I broke up with this girl about 3 weeks ago (5 month relationship), and I still have a set of her dvds at my house. I had totally forgotten about them until my mom reminded me about them and to bring them back. The easy part is that I won't have to give them to her directly, I can pass it to my mom (on same course as ex) or her roommate, and then they'll give it to her.

I'm pretty sure this is the right thing to do, not like I want them, and they are hers. I guess my main concern is, "Am I breaking no contact" by doing this? We haven't talked since the break-up, she hasn't asked for them. I can see some good or bad things by doing so. I can see showing 'Still thinking/caring about her' (bad imo), or maybe showing proof of acceptance of the finality of it (good). And then there's 'Who cares, get it done and over with'.

Any opinions, advice, experiences are definitely welcome :cheer:

 

[Atom Smasher]

You're reading way to much into it.

She will likely perceive it as neutral and will wonder what to make of it, or she will just think you are doing the obvious right thing. I would just send them back and forget about it.

 

[Zion]

Depends. I had a food plate and a book at my ex's after the brake-up. A book she knows I'd never ever read and ...a food plate.Like seriously ,I have 100 of those back home. Anyway , she was insisting to meet up to give those things back.


Obviously I didn't see it as neutral as she was trying to find ways to get with me.As an idiot , I agreed to it , and later ended up regretting it.I thought I could handle it ,but meeting up with her turned me into a huge-ass pvssy for the entire duration of the meeting. I just couldn't brake the frame and I was a complete mess on the inside. I did manage to not do nothing stupid , but it also ****ed me up bigtime as it felt like a relapse to and old addiction. Sure enough , I ended up wanting more. It's just an obstacle you really don't need to up against yourself.


Either continue NC and only return them if she specifically asks for them. And if you do , try to not make it a in-person private meeting.

 

[RedScorpion]

Thanks Atom, Zion. I'm glad for the confirmation. I understand about meeting with them after, it can easily turn into a mess if it's too soon, or gets too deep (as I've told before a oneitis bpd semi-off when she started probing why I was avoiding her). Thankfully I won't have to meet her. I'll give it back whenever I see my mom (or roommate) next, and then they can hand it off.

 

[Exoduso]

As long as you send them back somehow and not give them to her in person you're not trying to initiate anything with her. Just have someone give it to her and get it over with, the faster those things are out of your place the better.