Maybe I am the most insecure mofo on the face of the planet but am I alone in hating my gf's having guy friends? I know I should be secure in myself and not care but I guess I just feel like its only setting up the relationship for disaster if a gf has guy friends. Sooner or later I feel like one or the other will get interested. Should I learn to accept gf's having guy friends? If a girl TRULY loved me, would she need guy friends?
Girls with guy friends
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MindOverMatter
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A part of attracting and keeping women is being fully confident that no guy can replace you, while knowing deep down inside that you can replace the girl you're with.
If you show your gf that you don't like her being around other guys, you will come off as insecure in her book, and will convince her that she can do better then you. Say she has a friend, lets call him Joe.
1.) If you ever let her know that you don't want her being near Joe, it lets her know that you are intimidated by Joe, and that you think that he is better then you. Your value decreases in her eyes, whereas Joe's value increases.
2.) If she knows you don't like her being around Joe, the first time you two have a fight, guess who she will go to? You guessed it, Joe. Why? Because she knows that's what will hurt you the most.
Because of those 2 above reasons, you can never, ever let a girl think that you think some other guy can take her from you. But that doesn't mean you should be blind. There are some signals to look for that will tell you whether you can trust your girl around other guys or not. They include:
-how flirty she is with her friends
-how much ec she shares with her friends during normal convo
-does she ignore you when they are around
-does she seem hesitant to show affection to you around them
-how flirty they are with her
If you see these, walk away and find someone else. Otherwise, relax, and enjoy life.
If you show your gf that you don't like her being around other guys, you will come off as insecure in her book, and will convince her that she can do better then you. Say she has a friend, lets call him Joe.
1.) If you ever let her know that you don't want her being near Joe, it lets her know that you are intimidated by Joe, and that you think that he is better then you. Your value decreases in her eyes, whereas Joe's value increases.
2.) If she knows you don't like her being around Joe, the first time you two have a fight, guess who she will go to? You guessed it, Joe. Why? Because she knows that's what will hurt you the most.
Because of those 2 above reasons, you can never, ever let a girl think that you think some other guy can take her from you. But that doesn't mean you should be blind. There are some signals to look for that will tell you whether you can trust your girl around other guys or not. They include:
-how flirty she is with her friends
-how much ec she shares with her friends during normal convo
-does she ignore you when they are around
-does she seem hesitant to show affection to you around them
-how flirty they are with her
If you see these, walk away and find someone else. Otherwise, relax, and enjoy life.
biker_gixxer
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These are the two 'signs' I would look for. Two biggies for sure...
squirrels
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I'm seeing this girl right now who has told me that all of her friends are guys and about how she hangs out with them as just friends. She is aware of the fact that at least some of them want to bone her, but she says it's not like that. I dunno whether that means she's serious about staying platonic with them or whether it means she's just f**king one of them at a time and the rest are "buddies" until she breaks up with him and moves on to the next one. She also said her last boyfriend and her just decided they'd be better off "as friends", which is also kind of odd.
The only reason that I keep her around after hearing all this is that she surprisingly puts up a very strong anti-slut defense. I'm guessing this is because she legitimately just wants to be friends with a lot of these guys and she's used to fending off their advances...still, if they're getting as far as I am, that's a bit of a problem.
Either way I wouldn't be insecure about it. Yes she can still love you AND have guy friends, but it's my impression that girls who have a lot of "guy friends" don't have a good grasp on the full context of their relationship with these guys. It's somewhat disturbing, I'll admit. Just keep an eye out for anything suspect and be confident that you've got it all over these clowns and she wants to be with YOU.
The only reason that I keep her around after hearing all this is that she surprisingly puts up a very strong anti-slut defense. I'm guessing this is because she legitimately just wants to be friends with a lot of these guys and she's used to fending off their advances...still, if they're getting as far as I am, that's a bit of a problem.
Either way I wouldn't be insecure about it. Yes she can still love you AND have guy friends, but it's my impression that girls who have a lot of "guy friends" don't have a good grasp on the full context of their relationship with these guys. It's somewhat disturbing, I'll admit. Just keep an eye out for anything suspect and be confident that you've got it all over these clowns and she wants to be with YOU.
What, girls can't have guy friends? I guess that also means guys can't have female friends.
Come on people, stop being so insecure. If you are doing your job, you shouldn't have to worry about her going around town behind your back.
Come on people, stop being so insecure. If you are doing your job, you shouldn't have to worry about her going around town behind your back.
Blue Phoenix
Master Don Juan
Not too bad!
As long as she's not an attention wh*re, I'd not be worried about!
But if she's one, Watch out!
As long as she's not an attention wh*re, I'd not be worried about!
But if she's one, Watch out!
maranathaman
Master Don Juan
You are very naive.
EVERYTIME I've met a girl who has mostly guy "friends" she turns-out to be an attention ho who takes advantage of her harem of guys. I used to do music stuff with this married lady who has alot of guy "friends" and she ended-up asking me to sleep with her!
I feel sorry for her husband! If you have a gf or wife and she is spending time alone with other guys, it's not "insecure" to realize that this is NOT normal/healthy behavior.
You might be the moderator, but you are wrong my friend!
Maybe all the girls you've met have done that, but not every girl I've met that has mainly guy friends do that. Not every person will act the same.Originally posted by maranathaman
You are very naive.
EVERYTIME I've met a girl who has mostly guy "friends" she turns-out to be an attention ho who takes advantage of her harem of guys. I used to do music stuff with this married lady who has alot of guy "friends" and she ended-up asking me to sleep with her!
I feel sorry for her husband! If you have a gf or wife and she is spending time alone with other guys, it's not "insecure" to realize that this is NOT normal/healthy behavior.
You might be the moderator, but you are wrong my friend!
JT47319
Master Don Juan
You guys are still being very AFC with rose tinted glasses. There are two aspects of this, one being blind to the obvious and the other is a double standard.
A) EVERY HOT GIRL HAS A BEVY OF GUYS ON CALL. Do you understand this? EVERY. HOT. GIRL. PERIOD. Even not so hot girls too. Get over it.
No if's, and's, or but's about it. Hammer this into your AFC brains, this is a fact of life. Now, it DOESN'T mean that they aren't FAITHFUL. What it DOES mean is that a hot girl can be SEXUALLY SATISTIFIED at anytime of her own choosing. This is NOT A NEW PHENOMENON and in fact has been going on forever.
B) I put NO MORAL JUDGEMENTS on this because it's NATURAL. I mean, if a guy had the opportunity of having dozens of hot girls hit on him and want to be with him, why WOULDN'T he take advantage of it?
SOLUTION 1: Be more of a man than all her friends. Push and pull. Overhwelm with affection and take it away. Show her ADVENTURE. Make her experience EMOTIONS that she's never experienced with other men. And then take it away. Be the ALPHA of her wolf pack. FIGHT for her and MAKE HER FIGHT FOR YOU.
SOLUTION 2: Kidnap her and take her to an island without any other men.
A) EVERY HOT GIRL HAS A BEVY OF GUYS ON CALL. Do you understand this? EVERY. HOT. GIRL. PERIOD. Even not so hot girls too. Get over it.
No if's, and's, or but's about it. Hammer this into your AFC brains, this is a fact of life. Now, it DOESN'T mean that they aren't FAITHFUL. What it DOES mean is that a hot girl can be SEXUALLY SATISTIFIED at anytime of her own choosing. This is NOT A NEW PHENOMENON and in fact has been going on forever.
B) I put NO MORAL JUDGEMENTS on this because it's NATURAL. I mean, if a guy had the opportunity of having dozens of hot girls hit on him and want to be with him, why WOULDN'T he take advantage of it?
SOLUTION 1: Be more of a man than all her friends. Push and pull. Overhwelm with affection and take it away. Show her ADVENTURE. Make her experience EMOTIONS that she's never experienced with other men. And then take it away. Be the ALPHA of her wolf pack. FIGHT for her and MAKE HER FIGHT FOR YOU.
SOLUTION 2: Kidnap her and take her to an island without any other men.
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comic_relief
Master Don Juan
Agreed, I don't know who said it but No one ever plans on becoming friends it just happens.
Yes, JT, every hot girl DOES have a bevy of AFC supplicators on call...
The issue is not that they exist, but how SHE acts towards them..
If she is an attention hor, uses them against you, abuses them for her own gain, etc, etc, then she is NOT what you want as a GF, even if she does not sleep with any of them.
Do you really want to date a women with this going on? Do you want to walk down the street with her and a bunch of guys trailing you like secret service agents?
I have seen with my own eyes several cases of AW's walking down the steet trailed by a male harem, and also being in clubs, etc, surrounded by the harem. You cannot fight your way thru them. Is this what you want to deal with?
Not the type of girl I would be interested in, but it is an individual call.
I still say nothing good will come out of dating this type of woman... what do you expect will happen? Do you want a wedding with all male bridesmaids??
Dietcoi
The issue is not that they exist, but how SHE acts towards them..
If she is an attention hor, uses them against you, abuses them for her own gain, etc, etc, then she is NOT what you want as a GF, even if she does not sleep with any of them.
Do you really want to date a women with this going on? Do you want to walk down the street with her and a bunch of guys trailing you like secret service agents?
I have seen with my own eyes several cases of AW's walking down the steet trailed by a male harem, and also being in clubs, etc, surrounded by the harem. You cannot fight your way thru them. Is this what you want to deal with?
Not the type of girl I would be interested in, but it is an individual call.
I still say nothing good will come out of dating this type of woman... what do you expect will happen? Do you want a wedding with all male bridesmaids??
Dietcoi
Wtf, does everyone have a gf who has a lot of guy friends?
the girl im with now has 2 or 3 girl friends, and a lot of guy friends.
I dont mind it, becuase i dont hang out with her guy friends, i fvck her and she loves it, that's it.
Thing is, you gotta know what kind of girl you got. Mine is a party girl/tomboy.. and when she is drunk she could get flirty... however, i told her once and ill never tell her again "When you are with me, you are with me only".
the girl im with now has 2 or 3 girl friends, and a lot of guy friends.
I dont mind it, becuase i dont hang out with her guy friends, i fvck her and she loves it, that's it.
Thing is, you gotta know what kind of girl you got. Mine is a party girl/tomboy.. and when she is drunk she could get flirty... however, i told her once and ill never tell her again "When you are with me, you are with me only".
jbbrain
Master Don Juan
my gf, surprise surprise...shyt load of guy friends..the one thing that bothered is that a lot of her past hook ups seemed to be with her "guy" friends..so, in any case, u must realize that hese guys will be more than willign to replace your ass when things go sour. HOWEVER. who should reallyu care about what she does when youre broken up? I know I dont. I found solace in the fact that she will only be with me when were together, but that whatever she chooses to do POST relationship is really only her matter, and truly none of my business....
In the end, she has even more girl friends though, and they seem to mean the world to her...so..
in any case, whatcha gonna do? Mind over matter made some great points.
Hot girls do have guy friends, and you're really only shooting yourself in the foot by worrying about them.
so why worry?
In the end, she has even more girl friends though, and they seem to mean the world to her...so..
in any case, whatcha gonna do? Mind over matter made some great points.
Hot girls do have guy friends, and you're really only shooting yourself in the foot by worrying about them.
so why worry?
Most of my friends are male and we get along just fine. Why can't a man just be friends with a woman? You act as if everything about male/female interaction has to do with sex. That's bullcrap. As far as I know, none of my friends want to "bone" me, especially since many have girlfriends of their own.
I don't keep them around because I crave attention or anything like that. I keep them around because I truly value them as people and I enjoy their company. Some of them I have known since childhood, and they are like family. Rarely have they ever said anything that makes me think they like me in a sexual way...except for one of them.
I don't keep them around because I crave attention or anything like that. I keep them around because I truly value them as people and I enjoy their company. Some of them I have known since childhood, and they are like family. Rarely have they ever said anything that makes me think they like me in a sexual way...except for one of them.
California Love
Master Don Juan
Women who have more male friends than female friends are simply attention wh0res. They abhore having competition and lavish in having multiple men drool over them.
There is NO fvcking exception. Women who interact primarily/exclusively with women make much better girlfriends in the long run.
There is NO fvcking exception. Women who interact primarily/exclusively with women make much better girlfriends in the long run.
JT47319
Master Don Juan
Because women have "BREAK IN CASE OF EMERGENCY" dick.
biker_gixxer
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haha, classic...
You want to call me an attention wh0re to my face?
Obviously you make stupid generalizations based on myths. You can NEVER make generalizations about ANYONE. You don't even know me.
I have tried to have female friends all my life. I still have some now, but not as many as I would like. As I said in one of my first posts, women seem to think I'm a loser. I am apparently too desperate and clingy when it comes to my relationships with other females. Nearly every time I called them they never had time to talk. Whenever they invited me out to do something, it was always when all of their other friends were busy. I am actually more nervous around many females than I am with males. Having female approval is more important to me, and yet I usually don't seem to have it.
I have always wanted close female friends, and it seems that I am in the process of making some now. I just hope these friendships don't turn out like the other ones.