Girls with boyfriends.. Ugh.

[Rapture]

Hey Guys,



I enjoy reading the articles and other information that’s part of the Don Juan. I recently met this girl (she’s 20, and I’m 21) when I went with a couple of my buddies to hang out with her and her friend (my buddies are friends with her friend). She was there with her boyfriend, who later left because he had to work early in the morning. We all ended up watching some movies and my buddies and her friend went home leaving just her and I. I ended up talking with her from about midnight to 5am. We were so into the conversations that we had with each other over all kinds of subjects from different types of people, to the funny things in life, that we didn’t even realize the sun was coming up. In that short time we seemed to “click” and found out that we are a lot alike and have the same tastes. I left that morning awe-struck. This was about two weeks ago and we have hung out almost every night together since, just talking, watching movies, listening to music, or being together but with our friends. When she looks at me, I can see in her eyes that something is there between us, and she tells me that I make her comfortable when she snuggles up with me. The only problem exists with the boyfriend. I may have to just be patient and wait for her to realize that I am sincere and what she wants before she “jumps to my branch” from the other boyfriend. It doesn’t sound to me like he spends a lot of time with her or helping her out like a boyfriend should do. (I changed her headlight in her car after it being dead for 4 months; the whole time wondering why he hadn’t) She would rather hang out with me 95% of her free time instead of him. I was just looking for a little advice.



Thanks,

Justin

 

[Kerensky]

I've been in this situation for a while, although the girl I am going after isn't as into me as your is into you make it seem to be.

Basically, stay away. I would go for my chick anytime of the day, but one thing stays in my mind:

What if she pulls the same thing to me?

I'd wait until they break up for sure, THEN I'd move in. See, that is perfectly ok. But if she's playin both of you and swinging from "branch to branch" then that is hella bogus.

 

[DJDamage]

It does not matter the you think she likes you or rather spend 95% of her free time with you then her boyfriend. The bottom line is that you are thinking that becoming a friend with this chick will get you somewhere but the more you hang around her the less likely something will happen between the two of you.

You are basically doing her boyfriend a favour. When she is bored or frustrated with him, she comes to you and you entertain her and listen to her like one of her girlfriends or her gay guy friend. Once she is all happy and done with you she goes to him and all he has to do is fvck her until dawn without listen to her complaining, while you sit there thinking how good it is to hang around her and mesmerise by some fantasy then reality.

Wake up and open your eyes.

 

[Rapture]

Yeah, the only thing that kept me going at it was the possibility that she would ditch the guy if I was better.... (The shmuck inside).

 

[BLUEox117]

CLIFF NOTES??i!i!

 

[SageOFAllenAge]

Beware the friend zone!

 

[tmpgstx]

She is getting her emotional payoff from you, and her physical payoff from him. The good thing here is that women often like them together with the same person provided their stable.

It sounds like she's interested .. but back off and let her chase you more .. and make that tough decision. Her relationship doesn't sound all that solid so be patient.

 

[Kerensky]

Sorry to break it to you man, but 95% of her free time with you only means she spends the other 5% of her free time shagging him.

Just stay away from girls with boyfriends ok? There are other fish in the sea.

 

[Freeman]

Originally posted by Rapture
Hey Guys,



I enjoy reading the articles and other information that’s part of the Don Juan. I recently met this girl (she’s 20, and I’m 21) when I went with a couple of my buddies to hang out with her and her friend (my buddies are friends with her friend). She was there with her boyfriend, who later left because he had to work early in the morning. We all ended up watching some movies and my buddies and her friend went home leaving just her and I. I ended up talking with her from about midnight to 5am. We were so into the conversations that we had with each other over all kinds of subjects from different types of people, to the funny things in life, that we didn’t even realize the sun was coming up. In that short time we seemed to “click” and found out that we are a lot alike and have the same tastes. I left that morning awe-struck. This was about two weeks ago and we have hung out almost every night together since, just talking, watching movies, listening to music, or being together but with our friends. When she looks at me, I can see in her eyes that something is there between us, and she tells me that I make her comfortable when she snuggles up with me. The only problem exists with the boyfriend. I may have to just be patient and wait for her to realize that I am sincere and what she wants before she “jumps to my branch” from the other boyfriend. It doesn’t sound to me like he spends a lot of time with her or helping her out like a boyfriend should do. (I changed her headlight in her car after it being dead for 4 months; the whole time wondering why he hadn’t) She would rather hang out with me 95% of her free time instead of him. I was just looking for a little advice.



Thanks,

Justin

Everyone who posted here makes sense so you should listen to them. You biggest problem is that you are scared that you won't find nobody like her-which is totally not true-Sure you guys can be buddys-you may even get a chance to screw a couple of times-but definitetly don't expect nothing. What you have to do is stop being so available for her..then her imagination will start running. Like, "Where is he?" or "WHy hasn't he been over my house in so long?" If she likes you enough she will make take the initative to try and pursue you.

ALRIGHT?

And One More Thing To Keep in Mind: While you two are having a great time talking- her and her boyfriend are having a great time screwing..BUCK UP!

 

[Royal Elite]

In the long run women aren't really capiable of splitting their energy between two people. Never accept some of a woman's energy, it should be all or nothing. She now knows what life would be like with you, now you need to a. Let her know that you don't accept half of a woman (her presence but not her soul) b. Give her time without you to let her know how not having your energy around will effect her. If you have made as big of an impact on her as she made on you she will be back, if she doesnt leave her bf, then that means her energy belongs to him, and she wasnt for you.

The only thing that can come from this path you are working is hurt, and more then likely it will be on you.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

You're falling into the trap my friend. You can game this properly, you need to keep building attraction at this stage, but remain aloof about it.

Don't even think about telling her how you feel, don't even mention the boyfriend, and don't be her emotional tampon.

My thinking is that you should make yourself scarce for a few days. Detached persistence could work, but keep your eyes out for single women.

It's hard because some of the avenues that you would normally pursue are off limits - I.e. talking to her about if she's ever been in love, how it made her feel, because that will bring the convo around to the boyfriend, and you absolutely do NOT want to discuss that topic at all.

 

[duttylove]

i was in the same situation untill yesterday. i have a girlfriend currently so i wasnt emotionally attatched to the girl with the boyfriend. i didint want her around as a friend although we have some deep conversations about random stuff. it seemed that there was some sort of attraction there. as i wasnt bothered about losing her friendship so i just went for it.

the conversation went along the lines of this, was trying to impliment some sort of ross jefries material but have no clue how to use it. kept deep eye contact the whole time.

me: you know theres an attraction between us.
her: what do you mean.
me: if i were to kiss you, you wouldnt stop me.
her: (laughs) and turns it into a joke saying im in love with her.
me: have you ever cheated on a boyfriend.
her: no im not that sort of girl.
me: wouldnt you ever want to know what it feels like to cheat on some one.
her: no (quite serious)
me: it can be quite an powerful feeling
her: (just looks at me)
me: so when about 90 looking back to this situation YOU'R in rite now you will never wonder what if? what would it have felt like?

then slowly moved into kiss her, found no resistance so kissed her softly then she basically grabbed me n kissed the sh1t outa me. i had to stop it after about 10 minutes because things were gettin quite serious and we coulda been caught at any moment.

im not sure if i used game on her. or if there really was an attraction there or whatever. any input would be useful. i dont concider myself to have good game im just learning but this seemed to work.

 

[Rapture]

Great advice guys... I have made myself unavailable for the last couple of days, so I will let that gnaw at her. As far as the kiss.. yes, we did have a nice long kiss after hanging out for about 4 nights. She was really into the kiss and wasn't trying to pull away or anything and if we had kept kissing we also would have entered into the clothes-removal stage... but being a gentleman, I finished the kiss and didn't make that move. Her friend spoke to me and said "ya know... she really likes you"... and now I'm thinking if she likes me that much, she will pursue me more and leave the boyfriend. I won't settle for second place.

 

[tmpgstx]

That's the ticket Rapture .. you've definitely showed an enough interest . she knows, now it's up to her. Keep chasing her and she'll stay in her convenience zone because she's getting what she wants from you, and may not have the heart or gumption to end with her BF. This will make her look at her options closer, and take a hard look at her current relationship.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

I agree with others in that you should let her do all the persuing now. When you persue too much, she takes you for granted and you can very easily become used. Now it is changing a headlight, tomorrow it is running errands, etc hehe. Watch out for that. Woman can be VERY, VERY manipulative. Don't let your head float to the clouds and be blinded to this. Be careful.

 

[TheRelic]

I think this friendzone stuff it way over talked.

Play your cards right and you'll be her thing on the side.

Girls are just like that.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Originally posted by Rapture
Great advice guys... I have made myself unavailable for the last couple of days, so I will let that gnaw at her. As far as the kiss.. yes, we did have a nice long kiss after hanging out for about 4 nights. She was really into the kiss and wasn't trying to pull away or anything and if we had kept kissing we also would have entered into the clothes-removal stage... but being a gentleman, I finished the kiss and didn't make that move. Her friend spoke to me and said "ya know... she really likes you"... and now I'm thinking if she likes me that much, she will pursue me more and leave the boyfriend. I won't settle for second place.

LMAO

SO you kiss her and then cut her off completely? If a girl did this to me, I would think she was playing games or something. It is obvious that she likes you, why don't you make a move on her instead of waiting for something that may or may not happen. OH and also the gentleman makes the move, he doesn't NOT make it.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Originally posted by duttylove
i was in the same situation untill yesterday. i have a girlfriend currently so i wasnt emotionally attatched to the girl with the boyfriend. i didint want her around as a friend although we have some deep conversations about random stuff. it seemed that there was some sort of attraction there. as i wasnt bothered about losing her friendship so i just went for it.

the conversation went along the lines of this, was trying to impliment some sort of ross jefries material but have no clue how to use it. kept deep eye contact the whole time.

me: you know theres an attraction between us.
her: what do you mean.
me: if i were to kiss you, you wouldnt stop me.
her: (laughs) and turns it into a joke saying im in love with her.
me: have you ever cheated on a boyfriend.
her: no im not that sort of girl.
me: wouldnt you ever want to know what it feels like to cheat on some one.
her: no (quite serious)
me: it can be quite an powerful feeling
her: (just looks at me)
me: so when about 90 looking back to this situation YOU'R in rite now you will never wonder what if? what would it have felt like?

then slowly moved into kiss her, found no resistance so kissed her softly then she basically grabbed me n kissed the sh1t outa me. i had to stop it after about 10 minutes because things were gettin quite serious and we coulda been caught at any moment.

im not sure if i used game on her. or if there really was an attraction there or whatever. any input would be useful. i dont concider myself to have good game im just learning but this seemed to work.

Fvkcing A!!!

Nice job with the time distortion, lol. The SS working the ladies over. im not sure about the "have you ever cheated on a bf" line, but I liked the finisher

 

[AnkleBreaker]

Well im one of the few that got a girl to leave her b/f now she is my g/f rofl. If the chick really doesnt like the guy anymore she will let you know, thats when you move in and do everything her b/f doesnt her b/f didnt appreciate what a great girl he had.

When we were talking she said i made her feel good about herself that i treated her better then her b/f ever had and that made her want to cry.She told me she had dreams about me basically i gave her the affection he didnt give.

So guys dont treat your girl like **** or ill be right around the corner to take her.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by TheRelic
I think this friendzone stuff it way over talked.

Play your cards right and you'll be her thing on the side.

Girls are just like that.

I'm inclined to agree with you TheRelic, I don't think I've been in the friendzone since I was a naive 17 year old.