New2SoSuave
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- Jan 23, 2012
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Would you talk to them or interact with them in case you bump into them?
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Yes.New2SoSuave said:Would you talk to them or interact with them in case you bump into them?
New2SoSuave said:Would you talk to them or interact with them in case you bump into them?
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Well, I guess I'd write to Cosmo about this, so that they can publish an article on "20 different ways you can tell that's he's totally into you, plus multiple orgasms and other bullsh*t."New2SoSuave said:1. What if you get the feeling she is avoiding you?
2. Or if you hear from grapevine that she has talked about your interest to her friends and mentioned to them that she turned you down.
Tell them you have enough friends and if they change their mind that here's your number.New2SoSuave said:Some of them would try to friendzone you/make you your friend (that they are not interested in hooking up) after the rejection?
That's why I've been reluctant to interact with them. I guess I have little/no game![]()
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
This should be our mantra.ilikecharlene said:If you get irate, she wins.
That happens time to time and if it does I simply don't give the ***** the time of day. You keep the upper hand and it drives them nuts if you don't seem to be mad about it at all.New2SoSuave said:1. What if you get the feeling she is avoiding you?
2. Or if you hear from grapevine that she has talked about your interest to her friends and mentioned to them that she turned you down.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.