She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
That has been my experience over and over again. It seems that girls who are taken, don't have their guard up. They believe that they think that are unavailable to men so they don't worry about coming across as interested.Mike32ct said:Chicks who are taken are usually more friendly than single ones.
Yup, and even if a girl is single, just because she reciprocates and engages you in conversation, actually talks back to you, makes an effort in conversation on her part, does not guarantee she is interested in dating you or sleeping with you, she could just be being polite and friendly, this is something that is still very difficult for me, being able to distinguish between if a girl is just being nice and friendly, polite or is actually interestedBible_Belt said:If they're single and nice to you, then they can be accused of leading you on and being a tease when they later reject you. But they know it won't come to that if they have a bf. They'll just act like you got the wrong idea, and it's your fault.
Another thing I hate too is how girls expect guys to keep the conversation alive, and yet many people say a conversation is supposed to be a 2-way streetBible_Belt said:this is something that is still very difficult for me, being able to distinguish between if a girl is just being nice and friendly, polite or is actually interested
It's not just you. That is one of the hardest things about dealing with women. I don't know that there is one correct answer to the question. I can say that if you can manage to project an image that is sexual, without being sleazy, desperate, or lecherous, then at least the girl gets the idea very quickly. Guys who get laid talk to girls because they want to fvck them. When she figures out that's you, she won't want to waste your time and be called a tease later. If she doesn't like you, then she'll either immediately mention a boyfriend, or literally run away. I remember once being impressed at how fast a girl was moving across a parking lot in high heels just to avoid meHell, that's better than wasting my time.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I think you summarized the issue very well. I would have said the same myself.Dadude548 said:That has been my experience over and over again. It seems that girls who are taken, don't have their guard up. They believe that they think that are unavailable to men so they don't worry about coming across as interested.
Absolutely.Espi said:Married/"taken" women are often EXTREMELY jealous and insecure and will sometimes do what it takes to "prove their worth" by hitting on other men.
It's the typical female mindset, IMO: "I can have my cake and eat it too." Every MILF soccer mom out there wants to prove that she's still fvuckable. It's not enough to have a rich hubbie, etc. They get away with it, too, because American society CELEBRATES women being all things to everybody.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
The part about lone Wolf is what I hate, despise, loathe so much, on how us guys are supposed to be so god damn independentbigneil said:When a girl refers to having a boyfriend it can mean many things. Remember, a woman is supposed to have a man in her life or she is considered less of a woman. A man meanwhile can be a lone wolf and not be considered less of a man.
Here are 3 examples of a woman telling you she has someone in her life, each with different meanings.
1) Me: "Are you single?"
Her: "Well, I'm seeing someone, but I'm not married... so we can get together".
Summary: In this case, she's both being honest that she has someone and also revealing that she is indeed interested. When you walk right up to the most gorgeous woman in the room, this is about best case scenario. So this is a good situation.
2) Me: "Are you single?"
Her: "No, I'm not single.... I do have a boyfriend, but we can still hang out. I'll give you my number.".
Summary: She didn't want me to drop out of her life due to her situation (she's not living with him). I usually use this as an excuse to hit on other hot women in front of them, or to tell them explicit stories about the other women I'm dating. This keeps their interest. But it's bad when they actually use the word boyfriend explicitly. This is just an ok situation.
3) Me: "I'll have a beer".
Her: "My boyfriend likes pizza".
Summary: When a girl randomly uses the word boyfriend, unprovoked, she is usually ruling you out. This is a bad situation.
So you have to address each case separately, but as a general rule, the more they like you, the more single they are.
yup, many people say it's a common struggle for many guys to tell the difference if a girl is just being nice and friendly or is actually interested in youMrNiceGuy23 said:It depends on the situation and the girl. So many things can be interpreted as showing interest but they're really just meant to come off as friendly. Some girls are more handsy than others so they might touch you more often in conversation even if they are not interested in you. A lot of guys think just because a girl is speaking to them and carrying the conversation on it means she wants to **** when she could just be a friendly person. A lot of guys, particularly AFCs, are desperate for any sort of attention that they read way into a scenario:
AFC: "Hey, you having fun tonight?"
Girl: "Yeah I've never been here before, it's cool."
AFC: "Yeah...anyways you're cute."
Girl: "Thanks."
AFC then tries to close, gets rejected because she has a boyfriend, and complains on SS that she lead him on.