Girls Weekend away...

[Chow Mein]

I have one of my girls taking a 3 month trip to Europe with her girl friends. She makes an effort to contact me daily on schedule. If I have low interest in a woman, I wouldn’t make that effort.

 

[Bokanovsky]

For context I'm late forties, new girl I'm seeing is early forties. Been seeing each other for a couple of months now, see each other nearly every day. I've grown quite fond of this one. In the last couple of years I've dated 30+ women, been intimate with probably more than half and brief relationships with some, so know this one is good, checks all my green flags.

I do like being in a committed relationship, so this is something I'd like to develop with her.

Any way she told me last night, she's off to a four day 'girls' weekend next month that has been booked for a while before we met. For those in the UK it's a Butlins 80's weekender, which for those outside of the UK is a weekend of drinking and partying. I'm not sure how I feel about it, how I should act, what I should say or do.

Welcome any thoughts please.....

Concerns about infidelity aside, a woman who goes on drunken weekend benders in her forties is probably not LTR material.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I know women who went out and got fukked right before they got serious with their boyfriends. Fairly common occurrence. Most men are oblivious to this.

I will say this because I have been guilty of it too…right off of the jump we know he has an issue with telling the truth. OP needs to look in a mirror. He said clear as day that they were exclusive in a reply back to me but he is telling us in this thread and others that they aren’t.

This thread is educational in the sense that people will disillusion away whatever they need to in order not to deal with the truth - I don’t know if we can believe anything he said but I do believe we can learn from this on the basis of folks not wanting to deal with life actually unfolding in front of them.

 

[Canadian_Man]

I'm curious whether this is Woman 1 or Woman 2 from his other thread.

He suspected Woman 2 has a more promiscuous past, that might in part explain his hesitancy.

 

[Gamisch]

I will say this because I have been guilty of it too…right off of the jump we know he has an issue with telling the truth. OP needs to look in a mirror. He said clear as day that they were exclusive in a reply back to me but he is telling us in this thread and others that they aren’t.

This thread is educational in the sense that people will disillusion away whatever they need to in order not to deal with the truth - I don’t know if we can believe anything he said but I do believe we can learn from this on the basis of folks not wanting to deal with life actually unfolding in front of them.

We've all been there and we will be there in the future as well. Why? Because most women operate like this. If you go through women you WILL encounter such difficulties occasionally. Period. They just manage to surprise you one way or another.

OP made the thread for a reason. To hear some truth bombs. I repeat: if someone/ a woman in particular does something disrespectful it will change the dynamic of the relationship. Things " won't be the same". Yes maybe I am wrong. Maybe it will all be okay. I just know that for me it would be a deal breaker.

E.g met a somewhat nice woman recently BUT she had a solo trip planned to Venezuela or Colombia or whatever . I IMMEDIATELY knew it would last untill she steps into the plane. I'm not gonna sit and worry about what she's doing or not.

If you know women..you should know they often try to make excuses while yet positioning themselves in situations where " attraction can happen". If it does, she won't reflect and take the blame. And even worse when she is
-40Plus
- goes out with Lord know what kinda degenerate types of "friends".

We'll see how this ends.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Not sure what point you're making here. If they aren't exclusive neither one of them owe the other anything. However, OP says he likes her and this trip is making him nervous because he's worried she is getting railed by a bunch of guys on the trip -- hence my original advice. I am not sure what you're disagreeing with.

OP is nervous because he literally spends every day with her...for what reason I have no idea, but this is him freaking out because he doesn't have control of what's happening while she isn't around him like she is every other day

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If she's going to mess around she could do without going away so I'm not going to worry about it. I can tell by the way she looks at me that she truly sees me as her best option. To be fair without sounding arrogant I'm a great catch for her.

She did tell me about one of her single friends out the other night (she wasn't with them) hooked up with a guy took him back to her place, he set up another date, then she found out he was married!

Not when you are spending every day with her you aren't.

You are telling her you have nothing going on in your life othe than seeing her every day. How is that attractive?

That's next level needy. You've seen this women in 2 months more than I have my girlfriend that I have been dating over a year now...

One day this woman is going to wake up and have a feeling that something is just off and she won't be able to place her finger on it but it will end up being because you are constantly available and see her daily.

Way too much, way too soon and she will tell you she "needs some space" and you are going to be blindsided by it because in your mind "everything is going great".

No it isn't...you are suffocating her even tho you don't realize it. Every time you see her day after day you are wrapping another layer of saran wrap around her and squeezing her tighter.

No idea why men think they need to spend every waking moment with women they are dating...it comes off as a very bad look for you. Have some boundaries. Find something else to do. Spend some time by yourself.

It's almost like you are trying to force a 3 year relationship into 3 months but without all of that time passing by meaning it gets overwhelming at some point and they freak out and eject because it's not normal and it's too intense and not sustainable.

This is often referred to as "relationship enmeshment" and is due to having a lack of personal boundaries and excessive emotional investment and dependency.

The fact you are freaking out over a woman going away for a weekend after two months shows you are way way way too invested in her at this point meaning you are in the weaker position than she is in this relationship regardless of what you may think. Rest assured she has no such worries about being away from you.