"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Girls that lost their father early
- Thread starter antr
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
El Payaso
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2014
- Messages
- 3,621
- Reaction score
- 2,624
Pretty much every girl I've ever dated has come from a messed up home.
One of them had a father who was a medical doctor. He had to flee the country for peddling prescription drugs on the side.
Another one had a father who was a bank robber and ended up doing hard time. We had sex on the first date and she offered me anal. Go figure....
One had a father who abused her and her siblings after their mother passed away.
One had a dad who was a heroin drug dealer back in their old country. He got sent to jail and the mom took the kids and fled to America. She's never seen her dad since then.
I swore to start making hard filters and any woman I date from now on most come from a good two parent household and a stable home.
Women who had a good father and mother figure in their lives are often better than women who grew up in a single parent household.
The woman I'm dating right now is a doctor and has both parents in her life. I can see a vast difference between her and other women I've dated. She still has her faults like other women but they're not as extreme as the other women from broken homes I dated.
start getting overly obsessed with you very FAST,
Victim issues... everything is everyone elses fault
Selfish everything is figured so it suits them
Dont really care about you they care about the feelings you give them ie the Man they never had
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
However, in my experience the absence of a father has a significantly detrimental impact on boys raised by women only. They are the most fvcked up IMO, they have a god awful time dating, and/or find themselves in trouble more often. YOu want to see how the absence of men impacts a community...All you have to do is look at American inner cities and see what percentage of men in prison were raised by single moms.
Women raised without a father isn't that much of a factor in and of itself. However, how the MOTHER behaves in the absence of a father DOES impact chicks. If her mom is a cvm burping hoe with a string of dudes... the chick raised like this will have a VERY hard time with trust and binding with a particular man.
Totally agree.
Murk
Master Don Juan
I believe any arrangement growing up where you do not have 2 loving parents is going to be detrimental to a child's growth, regardless of male or female or who is missing out of mum or dad. It's a human nature and nurture situation rather than a gender one. But that's never to say someone can't achieve and be successful regardless of upbringing. A hard life can and does build character, it makes you fearless and driven, fvck you both.
AJ84
Guest
I agree it can build character and resilience.
I know lots of people raised by single parents who are successful and well rounded people. I also know people raised in two parent families who are complete trainwrecks.
Two horrible parents are always much worse than one good parent. It's the quality of the parenting, not the number of parents, that really counts.
I think it's dumb to assume a girl is going to be trouble because she was raised by one parent, or her father died before age 10 or some bs, before even getting to know her first. Unless the guy has oodles of options for women to date, it would be stupid to immediately write a new girl off based on some crap he read online.
A female chromosomes merges and has been going on since time immemorial. So a female has advantages of her combined ancestral DNA.
On an instinctive level a female "knows" how to be a female.
On the other hand;
The male Y chromosome doesn't merge, it remains the same and even perhaps "diluted" due to environmental exposure etc.
As such a boy growing up will need a man to mentor him into a man.
That is a fact.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
A baby boy ONLY inherits the physical acpects of his father, good chance to have his voice, face or body type and maybe some sort of predisposed medical conditions. That's where it stops.
It doesn't matter if his father is an Alpha, Beta or Omega of some Homo/Tranny...doesn't matter 1 single bit.
What matters is which man raised him up, took him under his wings. Teaches him what's it like to be a man.
An example;
Kids learning to ride a bycicle.
Kids fall and injures himself.
Mother reaction; Runs to kid and smoother him affectionately and kid with tears in his eyes looks up at mommy with love.
Father's reaction; Smile as kid falls down and kid seeing that father is observing him rises up immediately to ride his bycicle and sees his dad grinning widely and giving him the thumbs up.
Now kid is ecstatic and grinning with determination to carry on riding.
Oh yeah kid totally forgot his scraped bleeding knees.
Now who do you think learns to ride the bycicle faster?
ImTheDoubleGreatest!
Master Don Juan
Y’all some seriously dumb mtfkrs. It can make her better, or worse, or make no difference. My parents raised me to be a *****. And for a while there I was. But I grew out of it and eventually just rebelled into becoming a man. With the how I was raised, I should not be where I’m at today. But I eventually hardened up like no other.
A lot of times, it comes just from the person. How someone is can come just from who they are regardless of upbringing. Some people come from great families and serve to die. Others were born into ****ty ones and have had to join gangs and kill people to get to school, get a scholarship, and get the hell out. They’re rare, but they’re out there. Plus, it’s the QUALITY of parenting, not how many. The greatest slayers I’ve ever seen were actually raised by their mother’s. I think it’s because they’ve learned early on that they’re the man of the family. There’s also some super wimpy guys who were raised by single moms too the wrong way.
There’s too many variables out there to really generalize so much. Those of you who make such generalizations likely don’t have any inner strength of your own and are pretty much solely the result of your environment rather than because of anything coming from just you. Once you’ve broken free from all of that, you would understand what I’m talking about.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
How can she train me to be a man when she have not lived as a man?
Oh yes she has an idea. And it revolves around what a man can do for her - thats her idea of what a man is; love her tenderly, politely, treat woman respectfully, work hard for the family, bring food for the table etc etc.
What I actually NEEDED to learn from my mother is love and being more empathetic, when I was 0-7 years old. Hell yes, that's important stuff too.
What I NEEDED to learn from my dad or any other male role model willing to mentor me was a whole lot more that what a woman could ever possibly teach me.
And when I mean a man, I mean a masculine man and not some whipped downtrodden shape of a man.
If u think you don't need nor require another man/father figure to mentor you then you'll be floundering aimlessly until you reach the emptiness - zeroed out.
Even at this age which I am 46, I still go back to my elders to reaffirm my set of principles when I am conflicted or hit a stumbling block.
As a young boy I learned from what my father and other male relatives could teach me.
As I grew up I learned from other older males who were superior and more successful then me. I was lucky that some took me under their wings.
How I ended up here was also because a few months ago my 69 yrs old former boss told me this;
Spaz, there's a correlation between success in business/life and being a man who is successful with any woman.
So here I am. Learning, reading, and gaining an understanding from those who has experienced it. In a way many of you here r mentoring me.
I saved this as a bookmark when you first posted it and I read it every once in a while. Best Thread on Sosuave IMO! Should be made a Sticky.
ImTheDoubleGreatest!
Master Don Juan
At 46, you have to be able to make your own decisions and have strong enough principles to guide you by then. You shouldn’t seek reaffirmations from others because you should already be sure of yourself enough to know that you’re following the right path. You’re at least 20 years behind on that.
This was me and still is my brother. I never really unpacked why but I was pretty messed up until mid twenties until I really started to work on myself properly. I imagine boys with weak fathers have the same impact, I don't think they'd need to be absent. Not to mention the fact masculinity is so under attack in modern society that it's just going to be worse for boys in general. We all have to play a part in fixing that **** where we can. I take a lot of young men "under my wing" when I can. Just giving them some basic advice and telling them it's okay to be a man is new to them. Sad state of affairs out there at the moment.
You mean principles that stays the same like in a time capsule? How does that serve me or even anyone?
Even if I'm 100, a 1,000 or 10,000 years old I'll still need to improve myself.
I guess i need to elaborate further;
Principle(way of thinking) - methodology (way of doing things) = Results
It's pretty normal for a person when they have failed to achieved their desired result they keep on working on their methodologies.
Sometimes it works after going through many trails and errors.
And when is doesn't, you will need to have a look at your principles that might have relevance for the past 10 or 20 years ago which might not be applicable now.
Does this make sense now?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.