Girls tell me I'm good looking, but I don't believe it

[Chefcurrywts]

when they find out I never had a gf, the girls are shocked bcuz they tell me I'm handsome have muscles nice smile etc .. the girls say I'm good looking, but when I see pictures of myself, I actually think I'm kinda weird looking and have average facial features.

Do women compliment you if they feel sorry for you? Or do they actually mean it ?

I've been teased my whole life and that really f'ed up my self esteem .. I was fat in college .. I'm in my early 30's now and I have made fitness apart of my life and achieved a pretty athletic / muscular build, but that still has not given me the confidence to ask women out on dates etc ..

I just don't think facial feature wise I'm good looking but girls tell me I am which is confusing to me

 

[marmel75]

when they find out I never had a gf, the girls are shocked bcuz they tell me I'm handsome have muscles nice smile etc .. the girls say I'm good looking, but when I see pictures of myself, I actually think I'm kinda weird looking and have average facial features.

Do women compliment you if they feel sorry for you? Or do they actually mean it ?

I've been teased my whole life and that really f'ed up my self esteem .. I was fat in college .. I'm in my early 30's now and I have made fitness apart of my life and achieved a pretty athletic / muscular build, but that still has not given me the confidence to ask women out on dates etc ..

I just don't think facial feature wise I'm good looking but girls tell me I am which is confusing to me

The problem is you not them...you don't need to be super good looking to get laid, your lack of confidence is a huge turnoff to females. You'd be surprised how easy it is to get relatively good looking girls out on dates...7's are pretty easy to get on a date.

 

[Chefcurrywts]

The problem is you not them...you don't need to be super good looking to get laid, your lack of confidence is a huge turnoff to females. You'd be surprised how easy it is to get relatively good looking girls out on dates...7's are pretty easy to get on a date.

The thing is I was born with little self confidence ... I never believed in my abilities ever since I was in elementary ... I used to try and fake confidence with girls I first meet , but after a few dates with me they realized I don't have any at all ... I just can't find ways to boost my confidence e

 

[marmel75]

The thing is I was born with little self confidence ... I never believed in my abilities ever since I was in elementary ... I used to try and fake confidence with girls I first meet , but after a few dates with me they realized I don't have any at all ... I just can't find ways to boost my confidence e

I've got a way. Get your testosterone levels checked. I'm willing to bet they are pretty low. Testosterone = confidence.

 

[Chefcurrywts]

I've got a way. Get your testosterone levels checked. I'm willing to bet they are pretty low. Testosterone = confidence.

Testosterone? I have a lean muscular physique . Wouldn't I not be able to achieve that if I had low confidence ?

 

[marmel75]

Testosterone? I have a lean muscular physique . Wouldn't I not be able to achieve that if I had low confidence ?

Typically testosterone helps leanness but unless its at supraphysiological levels(ie steroids) it does't add musculature. But you can be lean due to other reasons like having fewer fat cells, genetics, etc.

You said you are in your early 30's, IMHO in this day and age every male should have their testosterone tested around this time regardless of anything else as this is when you start seeing a rapid decline a lot of times, and with you saying your confidence is low, that's a red flag for low testosterone. Get it checked, it can't hurt, if it comes back fine then you eliminated a potential culprit.

One other thing is that success breeds confidence. Start with something small, until you succeed at it and then build off of it. Maybe it's saying hello to every woman you walk by starting out. When you start feeling confident with that, give them direct eye contact when you do it, smile and say hello. Then start stopping them and just asking a question...like "Hey, I'm not from around here, could you help me find such and such place"...anything just to get you interacting with them. Once you feel confident with that, start making smalltalk after you do that...once you start feeling confident with that ask for their number and let them know you want to grab a drink with them sometime and talk more, etc, etc, etc...depending on how often you start doing this it might take a month to go through all these steps or it might take several months...its all up to you how much you want to put yourself out there.

The one way you'll never get any confidence is staying scared to death of your own shadow around women...you also won't be getting laid either.

 

[Chefcurrywts]

Typically testosterone helps leanness but unless its at supraphysiological levels(ie steroids) it does't add musculature. But you can be lean due to other reasons like having fewer fat cells, genetics, etc.

You said you are in your early 30's, IMHO in this day and age every male should have their testosterone tested around this time regardless of anything else as this is when you start seeing a rapid decline a lot of times, and with you saying your confidence is low, that's a red flag for low testosterone. Get it checked, it can't hurt, if it comes back fine then you eliminated a potential culprit.

One other thing is that success breeds confidence. Start with something small, until you succeed at it and then build off of it. Maybe it's saying hello to every woman you walk by starting out. When you start feeling confident with that, give them direct eye contact when you do it, smile and say hello. Then start stopping them and just asking a question...like "Hey, I'm not from around here, could you help me find such and such place"...anything just to get you interacting with them. Once you feel confident with that, start making smalltalk after you do that...once you start feeling confident with that ask for their number and let them know you want to grab a drink with them sometime and talk more, etc, etc, etc...depending on how often you start doing this it might take a month to go through all these steps or it might take several months...its all up to you how much you want to put yourself out there.

The one way you'll never get any confidence is staying scared to death of your own shadow around women...you also won't be getting laid either.

I think from past experiences, when women first meet me, they find me attractive bcuz of my body but as they get to know me, they realize I'm just a plain old bring guy. So basically I can't keep their attraction for me for very long ... they lose interest pretty quick

 

[marmel75]

I think from past experiences, when women first meet me, they find me attractive bcuz of my body but as they get to know me, they realize I'm just a plain old bring guy. So basically I can't keep their attraction for me for very long ... they lose interest pretty quick

Escalate sexually while they are interested and fvck them good...they'll stay interested longer.

 

[beforeimgone]

when they find out I never had a gf, the girls are shocked bcuz they tell me I'm handsome have muscles nice smile etc .. the girls say I'm good looking, but when I see pictures of myself, I actually think I'm kinda weird looking and have average facial features.

Do women compliment you if they feel sorry for you? Or do they actually mean it ?

I've been teased my whole life and that really f'ed up my self esteem .. I was fat in college .. I'm in my early 30's now and I have made fitness apart of my life and achieved a pretty athletic / muscular build, but that still has not given me the confidence to ask women out on dates etc ..

I just don't think facial feature wise I'm good looking but girls tell me I am which is confusing to me

Buy some prostitutes. Do whatever you want to them so you can build some semblance of confidence

 

[Chefcurrywts]

Buy some prostitutes. Do whatever you want to them so you can build some semblance of confidence

I **** prodtitutes all the time that I've become desensitized to them ... I have bad social anxiety and have always been socially awkward/shy so I never could form a connection with girls

 

[Chefcurrywts]

I've been getting counseling for social anxiety and now I'm considering getting on an anti depressant

 

[beforeimgone]

I **** prodtitutes all the time that I've become desensitized to them ... I have bad social anxiety and have always been socially awkward/shy so I never could form a connection with girls

Have you trying approaching women and saying the absolute first thing that comes to your mind

 

[Chefcurrywts]

No ... I mostly talk to my female coworkers and even then I still get anxious around the pretty ones and can't really make the convos flow

 

[sph21]

@marmel75 is right.

When I was younger, 25 years old and below, I didn't have any confidence. I'm good looking like you. But I could feel that some girls are attracted to me. That's because I'm always mysterious. Although being mysterious is attractive, they started to lose attraction to me because I never showed my intentions to take the relationship to another level. Yes, confidence is the string that will bind their attraction to us.

Now, let's delve into why a woman wants to be with a confident man. Feminine women don't want to lead. Leading is a masculine trait. A good leader knows that every action doesn't always end up successful. A good leader takes all responsibilities of his actions. He is not afraid to fail or succeed. This, my friend, is why a woman want a man who can lead her. She can feel safe in his masculinity. A good leader is a man who has a strong character and will not break even when things aren't going his way. That is a definition of a confident man.

If you never take any action with her, then you make her bored. If you never escalate with her, then she will be bored by experiencing that state over and over again.

Here are my advices on how to develop confidence:

1. Talk to anyone, especially women. Even ugly women.
2. Live on the edge. Push yourself a little bit better everyday. If you love to sing, learn to be a better singer everyday. If you love to play music, learn how to be a better musician every day. And so on.
3. Be responsible for anything that you created. Being responsible is being comfortable with any risk or reward from your actions.
4. No one is perfect. Everybody fails sometimes. Avoiding making any mistake is the same as avoiding success.
5. Learn how to ignore other people's opinions of you. Their opinions of you doesn't make you who you are right now. Your opinions of yourself will make who you are right now. If you let their opinions to influence your own opinion, then you will always be dependent on someone else's opinion to shape your own reality. Only you can create your own world.
6. Be spontaneous. A spontaneous man is not boring, comfortable doing something different, mysterious and attractive for women. We only live once. Why not doing something different once in a while?

 

[RangerMIke]

When you meet a woman's needs... automatically you are good looking. When chicks say you are 'good looking' what they mean is that you are attractive in some way. There have been a number of studies that show a man's 'looks' significantly improves when women know a man has money and/or status. It's really fascinating how much better looking an tall an man gets the more money and social status he has.