"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Girls pvssy

whatdude

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please don't delete this thread because I'm very curious as to what is going on with my girls ****. The past few times we fvcked... and i cvm in her ( i dont wear protection cuz shes on the pill) after i blow my load in her, when i pull it out there is this white chunky substance on my lower abs.. i thought it was my own cvm and told her i was gonna get it checked out but she said not to bother because its her. She claims that its her extra 'lube' .. she is like a day or two from haveing her period too.... i dont know what the fvck is wrong with her but i dont want no freak chick with an alien pvssy or somethin... its like cottage cheese, sick sh1t.. anyone know wtf it is?


Later
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Socialreject

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O_O

Hmmm... exotic white substance detected in pubic area..

Sounds like a job for for mulder and skully!

Alternatively, you could wear a rubber and see if it's still there?
 

rocky_mtn

Senior Don Juan
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its tw4t cheese, its happens with some women when you churn their biscuit.
 

Paradigm Artisan

Don Juan
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You do know that girls *** too you know? Or squirt whatever. God I feel dumb telling you this. Go read a fackin book. And on the cheese cottage thing, why not put in on a cracker and offer it to one of your friends? :flowers:
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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