Girls night out

[samspade]

Sam even in an LTR she shoukd be competing for your time. Why is this hard to understand? Thd GNO comes from boredom and repetition.
In an LTR dont even get there. If she desires you genually then wouldnt she want to date you at the first opportunity? Weekends? Every other weekend?
LTRs for every dude doesnt meen 9 to 5 picking popcorn watching chic flicks monday through friday.
Girls club is a real thing and woe to you guys who fall for this shyt. They will defend each other even without knowing each other. Sisterhood...

I have been in the LTR you are describing (which I bolded), and for me it was brutal.

I think you are conflating a woman having a social life outside of her mate with a guy mailing it in in a relationship. Of course, that happens and women will seek their thrills outside if they don't get thrills in the relationship. For a lot of unenlightened men they are like frogs in boiling water - they won't notice the change til it's too late.

But a relationship can hold two separate truths...that a man can lead and continue being attractive, while his woman can have healthy friendships and time away from her man.

 

[samspade]

In other words, I want her to come to me already fullfilled and complete. I don't want the burden of having to complete her. And part of a person's completeness is a vibrant social life.

You just spit out a lot of truths but this in particular was great.

I've had the burden you described and it's not fun. At first, of course, it was an ego trip. She's tied around my finger! That gets old very fast.

Maybe the reason so many men put women on a pedestal is they've never felt what it's like to be the one who's pedestalized. It's not the same thing as respect, admiration, support, and trust. It really is an awkward place to be because it means she's not building her own value but aiming to bask in yours. I don't even know if I'm making sense here, but it's hard to respect someone like that.

 

[samspade]

And a man should be focused on his life enough he doesnt get side tracked by this.

Well that's true too and I probably didn't handle it as well as I could have. It's definitely a two-way street.

I guess to bring it all back to the topic, knowing what I know now, I will take a girl who has a healthy social life outside of mine, all things being equal.

The girl I am currently seeing goes out with her friends. She's even met up during the daytime with the occasional guy friend. I don't care because I can tell by her behavior that she is otherwise locked in on me. Of course if she crossed some line and I found out, I'd next her.

A lot of this is "go by your gut" stuff. I think most men know when they're being b.s.'d but their egos won't let them admit it, because we're all supposed to be these ice cold super alphas. Sometimes it's more like letting an employee go. "I had high hopes but you disappointed me." In other words, not a good feeling but necessary.

 

[cola]

That's a good point. Women are social creatures by nature. Most pretty women have 10 times the vibrant social life as a typical man. And this is a good thing. I've met so many women from plates I've dated just by showing up to parties and social gatherings with the plate. It's like you date 1 woman and you end u meeting 15 more.

In fact, one of the best ways to infiltrate social circles and increasing your social sphere is dating women who have vibrant social lives.

A woman's social life keeps her sane. And it has nothing to do with you. Guys who take it personal are coming from a fear based mindset.

To try to control a woman's social life is like a woman trying to limit the amount of times you can go to the gym because she's afraid you will cheat on her with girls from the gym.

Lol.

Also she is suppose to always “compete for your time” but when you aren’t available she is suppose to sit in the house like a “good little girl” and not go hang with her friends? That’s not game that’s being a controlling bully.

 

[In2theGame]

Your post is extremely vague in important areas.

Is she just "a girl you know"?

Are you exclusive? How long?

Just dating?

What gift did she drop off?

What other indications do you have that she was on a GNO?

That's what I was trying to figure out lol according to him its his "main" baby moma but overall, it doesnt sound like this is his official Woman so this whole Girls Night Out doesnt mean anything.

 

[RangerMIke]

Mike i think this is a problem of guys getting complacent. They just get lazy. This thinking there are better men out there comes later when the paranoia phase sets in.

I agree. Too many men, when they get into relationships, think they can take it easy and coast. When you are in a relationship, in 2020 it's three times harder to keep her than to GET her.

I don't do relationships because I don't want to put in the work. I like being able to just do whatever the fvck I want and not have to check in with a chick. If I start getting emotional manipulative mind games... well I just take out the trash. If you are in a relationship... not only do you have to put up with all this BS, but because society doesn't have your back, you are the bad guy no matter what she does. She can blow some dude in a restroom during "girl's night out", and it's your fault because you made her do it by not being man enough.

I date a lot, and exes always comes up. Only one woman I have dated in the last 5 years has said she was the reason things didn't work out... ONE. She just up and admitted her husband was a great guy, but she wasn't turned on by him anymore and sex with him became a chore... eventually she just dumped him, I liked this one.... I know some of you would think "RangerMike, WTF is wrong with you!"... Well, this one is honest, I like that. We dated for awhile, then she got bored with me... hey sh!t happens. Believe it or not, we are still friends.

Every other woman I've dated.... well their ex was the one that fvcked up. Usually it called 'emotional abuse', because anytime you don't do what a woman wants, you are abusing her. She will pick and pick and pick at some poor dude, until he has had enough and pushes back... then he becomes the abuser.

I'm not really knocking relationships, they just DO NOT work for me AT ALL. You can make a relationship work... but remember IT IS WORK. LOTS OF WORK. IMO the benefits of a relationship do not out weigh the cost.... but many men think it's worth it. All I an say is good luck.

 

[Vantagepoint34]

I agree. Too many men, when they get into relationships, think they can take it easy and coast. When you are in a relationship, in 2020 it's three times harder to keep her than to GET her.

I don't do relationships because I don't want to put in the work. I like being able to just do whatever the fvck I want and not have to check in with a chick. If I start getting emotional manipulative mind games... well I just take out the trash. If you are in a relationship... not only do you have to put up with all this BS, but because society doesn't have your back, you are the bad guy no matter what she does. She can blow some dude in a restroom during "girl's night out", and it's your fault because you made her do it by not being man enough.

I date a lot, and exes always comes up. Only one woman I have dated in the last 5 years has said she was the reason things didn't work out... ONE. She just up and admitted her husband was a great guy, but she wasn't turned on by him anymore and sex with him became a chore... eventually she just dumped him, I liked this one.... I know some of you would think "RangerMike, WTF is wrong with you!"... Well, this one is honest, I like that. We dated for awhile, then she got bored with me... hey sh!t happens. Believe it or not, we are still friends.

Every other woman I've dated.... well their ex was the one that fvcked up. Usually it called 'emotional abuse', because anytime you don't do what a woman wants, you are abusing her. She will pick and pick and pick at some poor dude, until he has had enough and pushes back... then he becomes the abuser.

I'm not really knocking relationships, they just DO NOT work for me AT ALL. You can make a relationship work... but remember IT IS WORK. LOTS OF WORK. IMO the benefits of a relationship do not out weigh the cost.... but many men think it's worth it. All I an say is good luck.

True it's a lot of work. You know better than anyone divorce rate is 70% Idc what other books say otherwise. All these dj's on here don't even know what an option play is. All I asked these guys what theoretically they'd do. Some said their girls weren't healthy in that aspect. Maybe the whole theory of a girl with a healthy social circle was from 15 years ago. That seemed to be the truth from what the guys posted.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Understatement an 100% true Mike.

To me personally healthy doesnt mean stupid and it doesn't necessarily we need to bow to womens imperative social pressures.
Like.
"you dont trust her you bad man"
" the independent woman" etc etc.

For me personally if shes stumbling in the door at 1 am. Shes a plate.
No way in hell would i ever invest in that bs again.
I know longer confuse a few office ppl going to happy hour with night branching girl to meet up with orbiters that validate her SMV while hubby or bf is at home being a good boy.

Some dudes might dig it but in my experience it at some point will become an issue IF your invested.

Exactly. Give us something to trust.

 

[samspade]

I agree. Too many men, when they get into relationships, think they can take it easy and coast. When you are in a relationship, in 2020 it's three times harder to keep her than to GET her.

I don't do relationships because I don't want to put in the work. I like being able to just do whatever the fvck I want and not have to check in with a chick. If I start getting emotional manipulative mind games... well I just take out the trash. If you are in a relationship... not only do you have to put up with all this BS, but because society doesn't have your back, you are the bad guy no matter what she does. She can blow some dude in a restroom during "girl's night out", and it's your fault because you made her do it by not being man enough.

I date a lot, and exes always comes up. Only one woman I have dated in the last 5 years has said she was the reason things didn't work out... ONE. She just up and admitted her husband was a great guy, but she wasn't turned on by him anymore and sex with him became a chore... eventually she just dumped him, I liked this one.... I know some of you would think "RangerMike, WTF is wrong with you!"... Well, this one is honest, I like that. We dated for awhile, then she got bored with me... hey sh!t happens. Believe it or not, we are still friends.

Every other woman I've dated.... well their ex was the one that fvcked up. Usually it called 'emotional abuse', because anytime you don't do what a woman wants, you are abusing her. She will pick and pick and pick at some poor dude, until he has had enough and pushes back... then he becomes the abuser.

I'm not really knocking relationships, they just DO NOT work for me AT ALL. You can make a relationship work... but remember IT IS WORK. LOTS OF WORK. IMO the benefits of a relationship do not out weigh the cost.... but many men think it's worth it. All I an say is good luck.

This is how I've felt. Like I just don't function well in relationships. I love freedom and doing as I please.

My current girl has been very hands-off. I can tell she's super into me but there's no pestering. I'm not sure what will happen if/when she pushes for more. Right now she has some of her own things to work out. But I just don't like checking in with someone. I've hated that since I was a kid and had to report to my parents. We'll see what happens.

 

[RangerMIke]

My current girl has been very hands-off. I can tell she's super into me but there's no pestering. I'm not sure what will happen if/when she pushes for more. Right now she has some of her own things to work out. But I just don't like checking in with someone. I've hated that since I was a kid and had to report to my parents. We'll see what happens.

All women who like you start out like this... at least it is my experience. Believe it or not, women as a general rule prefer a man they can't push around. But at some point, when they realize that they are not going to be able to exert control, they get frustrated and move on... they still like you, in fact most women I date I maintain at least a cordial relationship with, but when they sit around with their friends... cackling like hens... the woman hears "Honey... you're just a door mat... blah blah blah... you're not getting any younger.... blah blah blah.... et. al ad infinitum" Then some weak @ss, pvssy worshiping fool comes along, and she's gone. This has happened to me so many times I have lost count. I can think of SIX women (Becky, Ashley, Genevieve, Ashley II, Blair) off the top of my head, in the last 3 years who ended up marrying or engaged to the next dude they 'dated'.

Ashley is especially funny, she ended up marrying a guy that doesn't have a ice cube's chance in hell of keeping her. I've watched that poor guy sell his boat, had to buy a second house... replacing the one he had (this happened because we live in a community property State... this new house is now "Community" property) if this marriage fall apart, the house that he already owned outright, NOW becomes half her's, shave his beard, she turned all his hunting dogs into pets she dresses up in clothes... she dresses him up in matching clothes, and is now part of her social media BS, he has completely lost himself in this relationship.

I am about to lose Sydney... all the signs are there.... oh well, sh!t happens.

I will keep doing this until my SMV drops so low that I'm not in the game anymore (and the truth is as I age... it's coming fast) Then I will enjoy my retirement spending my money the way I want, doing what I want to do... without some chick dragging me around by a nose ring.

 

[samspade]

I can think of SIX women (Becky, Ashley, Genevieve, Ashley II, Blair)

So you're telling me you date white women...lol

I will keep doing this until my SMV drops so low that I'm not in the game anymore (and the truth is as I age... it's coming fast) Then I will enjoy my retirement spending my money the way I want, doing what I want to do... without some chick dragging me around by a nose ring.

Wondering how old are you? I'm 44 now.

Thing is, I'm more locked in on pursuing my personal and professional goals. I like my lady friend but I just don't know how serious I can get. But what you're describing is a pu$$y carousel, we're on it. So when it stops we're essentially taking what we can get at that moment.

 

[In2theGame]

I agree. Too many men, when they get into relationships, think they can take it easy and coast. When you are in a relationship, in 2020 it's three times harder to keep her than to GET her.

I don't do relationships because I don't want to put in the work. I like being able to just do whatever the fvck I want and not have to check in with a chick. If I start getting emotional manipulative mind games... well I just take out the trash. If you are in a relationship... not only do you have to put up with all this BS, but because society doesn't have your back, you are the bad guy no matter what she does. She can blow some dude in a restroom during "girl's night out", and it's your fault because you made her do it by not being man enough.

I date a lot, and exes always comes up. Only one woman I have dated in the last 5 years has said she was the reason things didn't work out... ONE. She just up and admitted her husband was a great guy, but she wasn't turned on by him anymore and sex with him became a chore... eventually she just dumped him, I liked this one.... I know some of you would think "RangerMike, WTF is wrong with you!"... Well, this one is honest, I like that. We dated for awhile, then she got bored with me... hey sh!t happens. Believe it or not, we are still friends.

Every other woman I've dated.... well their ex was the one that fvcked up. Usually it called 'emotional abuse', because anytime you don't do what a woman wants, you are abusing her. She will pick and pick and pick at some poor dude, until he has had enough and pushes back... then he becomes the abuser.

I'm not really knocking relationships, they just DO NOT work for me AT ALL. You can make a relationship work... but remember IT IS WORK. LOTS OF WORK. IMO the benefits of a relationship do not out weigh the cost.... but many men think it's worth it. All I an say is good luck.

I'm in an LTR now but man, I 100% understand what you're saying here.

 

[RangerMIke]

So you're telling me you date white women...lol

LOL! I honestly didn't notice that but yep... all these women are white.. I also forgot to list Britteny, who is also white. Another common thread is that they are all in their 30s. But I don't just date white women. I'm dating one now that is Vietnamese, and another I have a 1st date with Thursday (if she shows up), who is a Latina.

Wondering how old are you? I'm 44 now.

52... and I have to say in the last year, I've noticed I'm slowing down... Sex drive isn't what it used to be I really can't 'date' more than two women at a time.. I just do not have the energy..... I'm in bed by 10pm or the next day I'm worthless. I used to work out every day... now I'm having to take more rest days... it's harder to keep the fat off... I've had to adjust my eating habits... arthritis in my shoulder and knee is getting harder to ignore. If this keeps up by the time I'm 55, I'll be done and will not be able to keep up.... but I'm going to try and make it to 60.