"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Girls in the pub

nick999

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I am not the man who frequently go out for night life before. However, recently I divorced and then I moved from my home country in Asia to a small city in Sweden to start my new job here. Last weekend I had nothing to do and then I went to a pub alone. Like most other places, the pub was rather crowded in the weekend night and the DJ and music was not bad also. I danced in the crowd for a while (like most people, my dancing skill is just so so). Without any sign, there was a girl suddenly coming from the crowd, holding my hand and hugging me. The girl is pretty and I hugged her also ( she did not look drunk). We hugged together and danced for about 2 minutes. And then she suddenly turned around and left. All these came so suddenly so I have not prepared at all. When I realized that maybe I should follow her, I cannot find her any more.

I am not sure what did she mean. Does that mean she like me? or just for fun (maybe there is not other Asia guys in the city)? If this happens again, what do you think I should do at that moment? I am totally a noob so I will be very appreciated for any suggestion.

BTW, I pay attention on my appearance and I also used Armani spray that day. (I am not smell) ;)
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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NobodyCares1

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maybe she thought you were someone else, or she was someone you introduced yourself sometime in the past but don't remember, happened to me because I often introduce myself to people when I'm drunk
 

nick999

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Well, maybe, but there are quite few Asia people here in this town, so I guess it shouldn't be that easy to make a mistake? And also I just came to this town and haven't introduced myself to people besides colleagues. I am really confused.
 

headFirst

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nick999 said:
Without any sign, there was a girl suddenly coming from the crowd, holding my hand and hugging me. The girl is pretty and I hugged her also ( she did not look drunk). We hugged together and danced for about 2 minutes. And then she suddenly turned around and left.

Haha, man this made my day. Thanks for the laugh..

It honestly could be anything and any reason.. I wouldn't think too much into it.. All you should be saying is yea.. I'm the sh!t, that's right.
 

betheman

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if a woman comes out of nowhere and starts getting that close and personal with you, she is up for it, you didnt respond, how obvious does a come on I want your meat inside of me have to be?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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P

perseverance

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betheman said:
if a woman comes out of nowhere and starts getting that close and personal with you, she is up for it, you didnt respond, how obvious does a come on I want your meat inside of me have to be?
Well if that had been me, I'd have been so drunken, I probably wouldn't have been stand up properly, never mind trying to park my beef bus in her tuna town.
 

VladPatton

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Lesson learned. Next time, start talking, remove her from the dance floor, see what she's all about. She could be a girl who wants some sex that night, she can be a prostitute, you just don't know. Keep it fun and see where the ride takes you. No need to be nervous. Be cool and treat whatever happens with indifference.
 

eddiedelgado

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Do you know that sometimes you want to go and say “hi” and the little voice in your head starts with the rant? “Who do you think you are?” “She is not going to give you the time of the day” “You are heading for disaster” “You are going to be embarrassed and humiliated”… and on and on. Suddenly you are paralyzed and the girl is gone.
My advice for you, next time start talking, try to find out things about her, make her compliments, but do something!!
 
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