AFC_Schism
Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2009
- Messages
- 36
- Reaction score
- 1
(posting this from a buddy's account that he doesn't use anymore)
This is a little bit of a wall of text, but its a pretty big deal to me and any advice would be more than welcomed.
Basically i've been talking to this girl casually for about a month - we're both going to school in texas. She's fun to hang around with but there's something that I can't really place my finger on about her - it's like she's either just really shy or just there's something off about her. We've hooked up a few times, but haven't had sex. We both went back home for winter break and she lives about 3 hours away so we haven't seen each other yet, but we text every day. I usually have to keep the conversation going when she texts me, she's a bad texter, (but she always texts me first - and she texts me every day - I never really initiate it) but she's really... hard to open up to. It took a while for her to open up to my jokes and sense of humor, which at first I mistook for that she wasn't interested, but apparently not. A lot of the time it takes her a long time to respond to my texts and when she does 1/4th of the time they're like one or two words.
I don't think we really have so much chemistry together - like we don't vibe as well as I have with other girls - but she keeps pursuing me. She'll text me and tell me she misses me and asks when I'm coming to visit. She's attractive and I am beginning to warm up to her, but I feel like she's almost started to copy my personality - like she was a blank canvas almost when we first met and shes started to develop the same kind of humor, etc. She has trust issues so it could just be that. However, there are a few things that make me wonder about her:
- She talks to other guys, a lot. Lots of guy friends, but she has some girl friends.
- She says that she's only slept with one guy before, given that she does hang out/date around a bit I found it hard to believe but I'll suspend my disbelief. I'm almost sort of inclined to believe her because I tried to go further and she wouldn't have any of it and my buddy did as well and she wouldn't go for it.
- Back when we were first talking (like within the first week) she took me out to her sororities event (ended up staying at her place 3 nights in a row that weekend) that next week my grandma passed away and I had to go out of town for the funeral. I found out that she ended up hooking up with one of my friends. I can brush that off because we didn't really know each other then, it was still casual, and I'm not positive she knew I was friends with the kid.
- My buddy starts talking to her too, but she gives him the cold shoulder and she keeps talking to me, and I end up asking my buddy why he stopped talking to her. He said that that night he looked at her phone and she was texting like 5 different guys (but from what I inferred she dropped him cold turkey after that night). I brush it off again, maybe she's a bit of a player but I can't deny I'm not one either, and maybe she's a bit of a manipulator - but I tell myself that I have her, I have what other guys can't get.
- Now I'm beginning to wonder if she's playing me the same way she did my friend, granted this has been over the course of a month and a half and she religiously texts me every day without me even doing anything, tells me she misses me, asks when im visiting, etc... It hasn't crossed my mind that she's probably doing the same thing to other guys, but I really doubt that, that's like... emotionally sadistic to drag it out this long.
- We were talking about our new years and I asked who her new years hookup was, and she brushed it off, and I jokingly asked again (because at this point, we agreed we were dating but not really exclusive yet - she kept asking if we were - and I responded that I'm not looking to talk to anyone else right now but because of the distance and how little time we spent together I'm not going to force her, but its up to her), and she told me that it was no one. I asked her "are you sure about that?" because a buddy of mine saw her with some other dude at his houseparty, and she again dodged the question before I asked her a third time and she admitted she did. Can I really get mad at her about it? Its not so much the cheating thing (its not really cheating, we weren't officially together), its the lying thing. Even the little lies, it makes me wonder what else she's lied about or how many other guys she's been with since the break.
- Keep in mind this isn't having sex, it's just making out/occasional groping. So maybe this changes things a little and doesn't make it so serious?
I'm wondering if I should dwell on any of this too much, and if a girl's behavior when she's single is any indicator of how she'll be in a relationship?
This is a little bit of a wall of text, but its a pretty big deal to me and any advice would be more than welcomed.
Basically i've been talking to this girl casually for about a month - we're both going to school in texas. She's fun to hang around with but there's something that I can't really place my finger on about her - it's like she's either just really shy or just there's something off about her. We've hooked up a few times, but haven't had sex. We both went back home for winter break and she lives about 3 hours away so we haven't seen each other yet, but we text every day. I usually have to keep the conversation going when she texts me, she's a bad texter, (but she always texts me first - and she texts me every day - I never really initiate it) but she's really... hard to open up to. It took a while for her to open up to my jokes and sense of humor, which at first I mistook for that she wasn't interested, but apparently not. A lot of the time it takes her a long time to respond to my texts and when she does 1/4th of the time they're like one or two words.
I don't think we really have so much chemistry together - like we don't vibe as well as I have with other girls - but she keeps pursuing me. She'll text me and tell me she misses me and asks when I'm coming to visit. She's attractive and I am beginning to warm up to her, but I feel like she's almost started to copy my personality - like she was a blank canvas almost when we first met and shes started to develop the same kind of humor, etc. She has trust issues so it could just be that. However, there are a few things that make me wonder about her:
- She talks to other guys, a lot. Lots of guy friends, but she has some girl friends.
- She says that she's only slept with one guy before, given that she does hang out/date around a bit I found it hard to believe but I'll suspend my disbelief. I'm almost sort of inclined to believe her because I tried to go further and she wouldn't have any of it and my buddy did as well and she wouldn't go for it.
- Back when we were first talking (like within the first week) she took me out to her sororities event (ended up staying at her place 3 nights in a row that weekend) that next week my grandma passed away and I had to go out of town for the funeral. I found out that she ended up hooking up with one of my friends. I can brush that off because we didn't really know each other then, it was still casual, and I'm not positive she knew I was friends with the kid.
- My buddy starts talking to her too, but she gives him the cold shoulder and she keeps talking to me, and I end up asking my buddy why he stopped talking to her. He said that that night he looked at her phone and she was texting like 5 different guys (but from what I inferred she dropped him cold turkey after that night). I brush it off again, maybe she's a bit of a player but I can't deny I'm not one either, and maybe she's a bit of a manipulator - but I tell myself that I have her, I have what other guys can't get.
- Now I'm beginning to wonder if she's playing me the same way she did my friend, granted this has been over the course of a month and a half and she religiously texts me every day without me even doing anything, tells me she misses me, asks when im visiting, etc... It hasn't crossed my mind that she's probably doing the same thing to other guys, but I really doubt that, that's like... emotionally sadistic to drag it out this long.
- We were talking about our new years and I asked who her new years hookup was, and she brushed it off, and I jokingly asked again (because at this point, we agreed we were dating but not really exclusive yet - she kept asking if we were - and I responded that I'm not looking to talk to anyone else right now but because of the distance and how little time we spent together I'm not going to force her, but its up to her), and she told me that it was no one. I asked her "are you sure about that?" because a buddy of mine saw her with some other dude at his houseparty, and she again dodged the question before I asked her a third time and she admitted she did. Can I really get mad at her about it? Its not so much the cheating thing (its not really cheating, we weren't officially together), its the lying thing. Even the little lies, it makes me wonder what else she's lied about or how many other guys she's been with since the break.
- Keep in mind this isn't having sex, it's just making out/occasional groping. So maybe this changes things a little and doesn't make it so serious?
I'm wondering if I should dwell on any of this too much, and if a girl's behavior when she's single is any indicator of how she'll be in a relationship?
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