Girls aren't interested in me

[Maxtro]

Every where I go I'm noticing a disturbing trend. Either the girls there ignore me or they are a bit cold to me. I can't figure out why this is happening. In school most of the girls ignore me or they are at least somewhat friendly when we talk. Nobody likes me / is interested in me. I feel that if I asked any of them out they would all turn me down, even if they were single.

At work most of the girls are a little cold to me if they don't ignore me. I only work about 2-3 days a week and I've been there about 3 weeks. I haven't been mean or annoying to anybody and I can't figure out why I'm being treated this way.

How am I supposed to act and talk around girls? I think I must be doing something wrong. How do guys that get flirted with act?

 

[amoka]

The act of flirting is more than just talking to women. Truly if you don't have anything to say to anybody, women for that matter, it is better to keep quit than to proof to others you have nothing substantial to talk about. Are you able you engage in meaningful conversation with your other male colleagues?

 

[Interceptor]

Maybe you're too negative a person to be around.
Do you smile at all?
Do you try to mingle at all with co workers or acquaitances?

Do you think being social is beneath you?
Do you feel entitled to people giving you attention and recognition all the time?

 

[Maxtro]

Yeah I can have real conversations with guys, even though most of us don't really have conversations with each other. My job is a lot of standing around and it's usually me and two other guys, the girls seemed to be segregated into the customer service area.

Every once and a while a girl comes over to our area and she basically ignores me. I normally can't think of anything to say so I don't. Sometimes I'll say something witty if seems appropriate to the situation. I want girls to laugh and have fun with me and to be seen as a cool fun guy.

 

[Maxtro]

Maybe you're too negative a person to be around.

I don't think I'm negative but girls have a 6th sense when it comes to a mans mood, even though the man may hide it. I wonder if they can tell that I'm just hanging in there and a little down inside?

Do you smile at all?

When I'm happy or after something funny was said/done. But when It's just me and my thoughts I'm not smiling. I'm not good at the fake smiles.

Do you try to mingle at all with co workers or acquaitances?

Yeah I try to do that. I try to be a part of the group. Unfortunately it's mostly guys and the girls rarely come over. I don't really know how to mingle with them.

Do you think being social is beneath you?

Definitely not.

Do you feel entitled to people giving you attention and recognition all the time?

Not all the time but it feels odd and a little bad to be mostly ignored. Hmm well maybe I do, most of my life I've been left out of stuff and I want to be included.

I was a bit annoyed when a girl I talk to everyday in school and usually walk to the parking lot with, walked right by when class was over and didn't even acknowledge my presence. I was actually waiting for her but I was talking to some classmates to make it not seem so obvious. I wanted to stop talking to them and go chasing after her but then I realized that if I had to do that then something is wrong. Thats the kind of thing that keeps happening to me.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Every where I go I'm noticing a disturbing trend. Either the girls there ignore me or they are a bit cold to me. I can't figure out why this is happening. In school most of the girls ignore me or they are at least somewhat friendly when we talk. Nobody likes me / is interested in me. I feel that if I asked any of them out they would all turn me down, even if they were single.

Well, tell you what, why dont you ask them out one by one, and if they really do turn you down, then you will feel really good that you made the effort and tried, and have at least expressed yourself in that environment. What does it take - just go up to the girl and ask her out.

Find the most attractive girl and just ask her out. If she turns you down then whatever. Once they have all turned you down, if what you fear actually becomes a reality - then look at some porn to reward yourself for trying. Sometimes when you think it's all looking bleak, all you have to do is try anyway, because once that's gone you really have nothing to work with.

At work most of the girls are a little cold to me if they don't ignore me. I only work about 2-3 days a week and I've been there about 3 weeks. I haven't been mean or annoying to anybody and I can't figure out why I'm being treated this way.

How am I supposed to act and talk around girls? I think I must be doing something wrong. How do guys that get flirted with act?

Dont act or talk - just do what you want to do - have an attitude, go up and ask someone out like you are challenging her to reject you then you'll find out it's not that big of a deal and get emboldened to do more.

 

[slitherjef]

Maxtro, I feel the same way. I try to talk to more customers because I can use my job as an excuse to talk to hotties. It seems to be helping me. The chicks that do work there don't seem to pay much attention to me anyway. When I do talk to them, I just try to be friendly. I really not have tried to talk to many female co-workers because I don't really want a situation like I had at my old store where things got awkward

 

[young_gun]

Well, tell you what, why dont you ask them out one by one, and if they really do turn you down, then you will feel really good that you made the effort and tried, and have at least expressed yourself in that environment. What does it take - just go up to the girl and ask her out.

Find the most attractive girl and just ask her out. If she turns you down then whatever. Once they have all turned you down, if what you fear actually becomes a reality - then look at some porn to reward yourself for trying. Sometimes when you think it's all looking bleak, all you have to do is try anyway, because once that's gone you really have nothing to work with.

Dont act or talk - just do what you want to do - have an attitude, go up and ask someone out like you are challenging her to reject you then you'll find out it's not that big of a deal and get emboldened to do more.

Sorry man, I don't think this is very good advice. I think it would be a BAD idea to go up to the girls one-by-one and ask them out. Be selective about which ones you ask out, because some girls will give you buying signals and some won't. If a girl is giving you good buying signals right off the bat, ask for a number. If they don't give you good buying signals, it's probably because they're either shy or have a boyfriend or something. Spend a little time getting to know these girls, and if they turn out to be single and cool, ask them for a number in time. Some girls take a little longer to warm up to a new person. If you work with them, or go to school with them, you'll run into them pretty frequently, so it's not like you have to rush to get that number. You can spread your interactions out into multiple occurrences.

I wouldn't ask a girl out on the spot either, especially if they don't know you. Get a number, that's a lot lower risk, and most girls will give their number out to you if you seem like a cool, friendly guy. Make sure to smile a lot, and don't take things too seriously.

 

[Answers]

How old are the girls? I used to work with dozens and it was only the older outgoing girls or my sisters friends etc that spoke to me alot. Looking back the biggest mistake I made was trying too hard to speak to the girls and I must have looked awkward.

 

[Maxtro]

The chicks that do work there don't seem to pay much attention to me anyway. When I do talk to them, I just try to be friendly. I really not have tried to talk to many female co-workers because I don't really want a situation like I had at my old store where things got awkward

I like the store I'm at now because it's so big. Were all in different departments so if something ever happens to get awkward it won't be that big of a deal. But that does make it a little harder because if I wanted to interact more with girls from a different department I have to make the extra effort to go over there and right now I don't have a lot of freedom where I can go. There is one girl that I've talked to before and would like to talk to her more but it seems awkward going all the way over to her area without a reason to do so.

Spend a little time getting to know these girls, and if they turn out to be single and cool, ask them for a number in time. Some girls take a little longer to warm up to a new person. If you work with them, or go to school with them, you'll run into them pretty frequently, so it's not like you have to rush to get that number. You can spread your interactions out into multiple occurrences.

I wouldn't ask a girl out on the spot either, especially if they don't know you. Get a number, that's a lot lower risk, and most girls will give their number out to you if you seem like a cool, friendly guy. Make sure to smile a lot, and don't take things too seriously.

Yeah I do need to get to know these girls better but I'm lost on how much time is needed. There's about 4 girls that I would like to get to know better in one of my classes. I've been with them since September. But I only know one of them, I made the mistake of focusing on just one girl. And now the semester is over in less than two weeks. I don't want to make the same mistakes next semester.

I'm not going to bother trying to get a girls phone number until I can see that she likes my company. Until then I don't really bother. But I do have an issue of knowing when the right time to ask is. There's no way I'm going to try and get the number of a chick who seems mean to me.

Smile a lot. I really need to work on that.

The girls are mostly 18-21 ish.

It still doesn't address my biggest problem of always getting friendzoned. I want to make the girls interested in me before I ask them out. BTW is it even friendzone if you never become their friend? I haven't had a chick friend in years. They ended up hitting me up for rides and money and I had to drop them. Obviously they weren't real friends.

 

[Answers]

Smile a lot. I really need to work on that.

The girls are mostly 18-21 ish.

It still doesn't address my biggest problem of always getting friendzoned. I want to make the girls interested in me before I ask them out.

18-21 is young and they're probably nervous at talking to guys.

Maybe you're getting friendzoned because you're too nice? Being too nice is behaving in a way that you think makes others like you better but it comes across as being fake.

 

[Maxtro]

18-21 is young and they're probably nervous at talking to guys.

Maybe you're getting friendzoned because you're too nice? Being too nice is behaving in a way that you think makes others like you better but it comes across as being fake.

Do girls get nervous? From my experience I haven't ran into a shy girl. It seems that most girls are comfortable talking to anybody. I bet that most girls 18-21 have a lot more social experience than I do.

Too shy. I have been called that by a girlfriend of an old buddy I used to have. That phrase doesn't make any sense to me. How can somebody be too nice? I'm generally a reserved person and keep to myself but I have been trying to change that. I'm much better at talking to people now than I used to be.

 

[Mad Manic]

18-21 is young and they're probably nervous at talking to guys.

I'll assume you're joking. At that age 18-21 year old girls are masters at talking (and manipulating and rejecting etc) men. They are as socially active as can be especially in clubs, college etc. and are often talking to numerous guys. Shyness is rare amongst girls.

MM

 

[DonJuan11]

At work most of the girls are a little cold to me if they don't ignore me. I only work about 2-3 days a week and I've been there about 3 weeks. I haven't been mean or annoying to anybody and I can't figure out why I'm being treated this way.

How am I supposed to act and talk around girls? I think I must be doing something wrong. How do guys that get flirted with act?

Instead of thinking of what you get out of flirting and talking to girls, ask yourself what they get out of it. What do you have to offer? Why should they talk to you?

If you were a cool, exciting person who was 6'0 and looked like Brad, you wouldn't have this problem

 

[intel123]

is it the way you dress? maybe that could be a factor . the way u hold urself
infront of other . . . the way you help customers the others will watch you and observe . u have to switch up somthing ur doing somthing wrong but can easily be fixed with matter of minutes look u have a master dj . u can do the rest my freind

 

[Mr. Unique]

Are you goodlooking?muscular?ugly?

Maybe youre just too goodlooking, and they are intimidating so they act cold.

Have you ever thought of that?

 

[ZaReK]

I believe you're using the correct word "not interested", but why are you "not interesting"?

Many things come into my mind:
1. You are not trying to be different than the rest of the bunch of guys.
2. You do not approach girls and start conversation with them.
3. You do not go to people just for the sake of talking, you'd rather stay in your corner, alone.
4. Etc.

The point is, you have to stop being the victim and do what you have to do, aka go talk to people if you want people talking to you.

The best example I have of dynamics is classrooms. Almost no one in a classroom will come talk to you other than to get some kind of information about the class. If you want to make friend with people, it is YOUR DUTY to do it yourself. Those people generally are like you, they don't feel so well going to strangers to make friends.

So it's up to you to get those girls know you and then WANT to talk to you further.

 

[Answers]

I'll assume you're joking. At that age 18-21 year old girls are masters at talking (and manipulating and rejecting etc) men. They are as socially active as can be especially in clubs, college etc. and are often talking to numerous guys. Shyness is rare amongst girls.

MM

Joking? You're building up girls to be something they're not. They, like us men have differing personalities.

The most confident girls always chatted with me while the others who acted confident were not very chatty.

 

[DonJuan11]

I'll assume you're joking. At that age 18-21 year old girls are masters at talking (and manipulating and rejecting etc) men. They are as socially active as can be especially in clubs, college etc. and are often talking to numerous guys. Shyness is rare amongst girls.

MM

Agreed. How can girls ever get nervous at that age?

Past 29, then they could start getting nervous.

 

[tsmith2334]

I feel the same way you do. A decent portion of the time, I feel like girls just really aren't that interested in me. I have attractive facial features, but I don't know if I always give off the correct vibes.

What's worse (this is something I DEFINATELY have to work on) is that I can get goodl-ooking females interested in and attracted to me for a short period of time ( a day, a week, two weeks) but I can't maintain that attraction level and escalate properly.

If I can learn those techniques (and overcome my fears of rejection and being inferior) I'm set.