oldmanofthesea
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2018
- Messages
- 1,600
- Reaction score
- 3,308
- Age
- 48
Winner. You don't deliberately look for scabs to pick at unless it's happened to you, usually when young.She's narcisisstic, wild guess bad parenting. When she grew up her parents did this to her, found her points of pride or points of weakness and targeted them.
Back to OP, I find it extremely suspect that she called you crying the next day. No one but her knows why but it sure looks to me to be a tactic to test where you are and if she can get you back into her frame. I think you handled the original discussion with her pretty well (since you added details), but given her total and complete lack of acceptance or even acknowledgement of fault combined with her attempt to say YOU are the one with the problem, I would not have soothed her the next day. You are, at the core, a good person for being able to put aside the previous issue in order to be supportive to her, however, she didn't deserve it. That's the thing that is so hard for us men to learn: Women despise us for doing the right thing when they don't deserve it. Through brainwashing in movies, TV, and third wave feminism, we think it's the right thing when in reality it isn't. If she called me crying, being needy looking for me to help her with her problem after the way the conversation went the night before, I would have very quietly listened for a very short time, told her I was sorry to hear it, that I trust that she will get through it, and made a polite excuse as to why I had to get off the phone quickly. I wouldn't warm up to her until I was satisfied that she made it up to me. Any further attempt from her at telling me I am over-reacting would be met with further or complete withdrawal.
This girl seems very manipulative and narcissistic. I see very specific patterns here that I've experienced with a couple exes, both of which ended badly. One was BPD. My advice is to work on removing any emotional investment you have with her and if you can't do that, I would eject.