Girlfriend's off-hand comments about my height.

[oldmanofthesea]

She's narcisisstic, wild guess bad parenting. When she grew up her parents did this to her, found her points of pride or points of weakness and targeted them.

Winner. You don't deliberately look for scabs to pick at unless it's happened to you, usually when young.

Back to OP, I find it extremely suspect that she called you crying the next day. No one but her knows why but it sure looks to me to be a tactic to test where you are and if she can get you back into her frame. I think you handled the original discussion with her pretty well (since you added details), but given her total and complete lack of acceptance or even acknowledgement of fault combined with her attempt to say YOU are the one with the problem, I would not have soothed her the next day. You are, at the core, a good person for being able to put aside the previous issue in order to be supportive to her, however, she didn't deserve it. That's the thing that is so hard for us men to learn: Women despise us for doing the right thing when they don't deserve it. Through brainwashing in movies, TV, and third wave feminism, we think it's the right thing when in reality it isn't. If she called me crying, being needy looking for me to help her with her problem after the way the conversation went the night before, I would have very quietly listened for a very short time, told her I was sorry to hear it, that I trust that she will get through it, and made a polite excuse as to why I had to get off the phone quickly. I wouldn't warm up to her until I was satisfied that she made it up to me. Any further attempt from her at telling me I am over-reacting would be met with further or complete withdrawal.

This girl seems very manipulative and narcissistic. I see very specific patterns here that I've experienced with a couple exes, both of which ended badly. One was BPD. My advice is to work on removing any emotional investment you have with her and if you can't do that, I would eject.

 

[rjc149]

Get busy lining up her replacement.

 

[samspade]

The OP also feels like he doesn’t deserve any better by his lack of boundaries. They belong together. They have perfect chemistry in a weird neurotic way. She is a reflection of his own feelings of low self worth and insecurities.

A guy with high self esteem doesn’t need 50 people on this forum to point out obvious acts of disrespect.

That's not always true. You can have high self esteem and still seek advice and opinions. People with low self esteem often feign confidence. I commend him for asking for help and different perspectives. Furthermore you're supposing what the OP "feels" he deserves. My take is he might feel he deserves BETTER since he's here asking us for opinions.

 

[HenBogan]

She seems to have no class...

Don't lower yourself but it's not acceptable... Do you want to live with this for the rest of your life...

 

[lamath]

When you have high self esteem you have a radar that can pick up disrespect 100% of the time. The thing that keeps you in the relationship is feeling you don’t deserve better.

The OP is not confused. He’s not an idiot. He’s in law school. If he is smart enough to be in law school, then he is smart enough to know what disrespect is. His problem is he doesn’t feel like he deserves better. He has low self esteem......which is one half of a relationship with a narcissist. Two sides of the same coin.

Feeling disrespected is very subjective and does not necessary mean being disrespected.

For some ppl its hard to see the difference, specially when lacking experience with the opposite sex.

Its the same with dealing with women emotional crap, it make you question yourself are they all like this or i got a crazy one.

 

[lamath]

When I was 14 I knew when girls were playing games with me. I knew how fake the kids were. Trying to fit in, making fun of each other, being superficial, etc. I knew how neurotic the world was. I felt it in my core. And I didn’t need any experience.

Everyone is born with an internal compass. North is love, south is fear. This compass is our emotional guidance system.

I knew when girls were trying to use me or acting manipulative way before I started dating. My core would always tell me. I didn’t have to logically discuss it with an online forum.

I knew that 90% of girls in my high school were attention wh0res. I didn’t need Sousuave to tell me and neither did I question myself.

If I knew all of this at puberty, I seriously doubt the OP, who is a grown a$$ man going to law school and living in a luxury apartment can’t tell the when a woman is disrespecting him.

You guys are giving him excuses.

Op situation is an obvious one.
However some situation are more greyish, and this is where experience and social/emotional inteligence is important.

But i see your point and i think that in the end we should follow our internal compass even if its not always objective.