Girlfriend wants guidance and life advice

[adanricci]

gf is turning 24, finds herself literally dreaming of babies, yet also wants to give a career a chance. She said she'd put more weight on my input more than her own mom's.

I'm 30 (my profile has the wrong age). Even though I don't want her to just do what I want her to, but I do feel that sometimes helping her make a decision makes her happier. From simple things like "where do we eat?" to anything school or work related. So I feel the need to be a rock here, which so far I've been.

I earn well overall, and she has a trust fund. So money isn't really ever a problem, but she NEEDS to do something, and it needs to have the *meaningful* dimension to it.

At this stage, shall I just listen a lot? I definitely want kids; she definitely wants kids; just not yet. She loves kids and I'm sure being a mom would be fun and meaningful for her, but she does have a very creative streak that needs to be fed and stimulated. No gf of mine will ever have a boring life, I will make sure of it.

 

[bmp2cpm]

1) She testing your level of commitment by bringing up kids. Women test men all the time, it is in their DNA. Never go into too much details when a women tests you. Be playful and mysterious when she test you.

2) She wants you to lead. That’s a good thing. She’s looking for an overall life plan from you. If that’s what you want, then plan and lead her. If you find her dependence on you exhausting then move on.

Personally, I prefer dependent women over independent women every time.

My experience with career women is that a woman’s career puts a lot of stresses on the relationship.

If she ever ends up making more than you, she may lose respect for you and prioritize her career over you.

My guess is when she is ready for kids, she won’t tell you, she will show you with a pregnancy test.

Good luck!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'd be careful. If she listens to your input and does something and then regrets it or doesn't like it you are going to be blamed over and over and over again for "making her do that".

The only way to successfully navigate this is to get her to open up and lay her thoughts out on the table and give your thoughts but then make sure she understands that it is completely up to her in regards to what she decides. That way she has no recourse of pinning it back on you at a later date, even tho she still might try.

 

[Kotaix]

I'd be careful. If she listens to your input and does something and then regrets it or doesn't like it you are going to be blamed over and over and over again for "making her do that".

The only way to successfully navigate this is to get her to open up and lay her thoughts out on the table and give your thoughts but then make sure she understands that it is completely up to her in regards to what she decides. That way she has no recourse of pinning it back on you at a later date, even tho she still might try.

This.

The tough part is that women shouldn't really have a career AND kids. If she wants to start a career, pop out a few kids and then throw them into the daycare machine as soon as she's able to so she can get back to her career, that's really going to be to the detriment of the kids. This is a conversation that is at least worth having.

Does she know what career she wants to engage in?