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If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Girlfriend started on annoying shyt tests.

lamath

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I’ve actually found women who do these types of tests actually have a very strong desire for the person they are with. And instead of channeling those emotions to something positive (that which is logical and what a man would do) they create excitement and uncertainty (drama; that how the feminine operates).
I kind of agree with this imo its either she lost attraction and trying to find a reason to dump you
OR
She is strongly attracted and it is making her insecure and afraid of the lack of control, so she try to gain security and control with **** test.
imo men failing those **** test will make her attraction goes down because insecurity is needed for high attraction level.
 

flowtheory

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I kind of agree with this imo its either she lost attraction and trying to find a reason to dump you
OR
She is strongly attracted and it is making her insecure and afraid of the lack of control, so she try to gain security and control with **** test.
imo men failing those **** test will make her attraction goes down because insecurity is needed for high attraction level.
And to further extrapolate on this; one will know which she wants AFTER the test/drama. Break up or closeness. Much like life, we can only understand what happens when connecting the dots backwards. Like detectives.

The woman I’m seeing does this like all other women.. and shortly after the annoyances, she’s being super sweet and wanting an abundant amount of s3x. In some form she will also put an idea of loss in my mind. A tactic to draw me closer. But when someone does this, you reassure that she’s always been free.

above all women want the man’s presence. women want passion which equates to uncertainty, freedom, spontaneity, presence. They also want love which encompasses security, reliability, consistency, presence.
We as men should be striving to cultivate and fortify both essences within ourself which are relatively always in balance. Not for a woman/women, but because it’s fvcking amazing. Why wouldn’t a woman desire both? And they certainly do. We coin these two sets of behaviour traits as ‘Alpha’ and ‘Beta’.
the alpha is wild and untamed. The beta is a dog who is always there.
being both is actually sustainable and ideal, to me anyways. Because I want a rewarding relationship, but I also need to pursue my passion and be wild within that. I want to feel fear as I rip down a road on a motorbike but I also want to experience depths of sweetness as I cook dinner with my girlfriend, or even watch a chick flick with her, but then shortly after be pulling her hair making her squeal and moan. Balance isn’t so bad right? Yin and Yang combined is fullness. How can we know edge without softness?
Women want to be FVCKED but they also want enveloped while JUST cuddling.

couples who have been together for years upon years fall in to the humdrum of love. The sex drops off and passion is lost. Enter: total comfortability. They reserve their days to the couch, Netflix, grocery shopping and the - maybe - one year getaway. Add kids in to the mix and you have routine and total predictability. The monotony of predictability is what strips them ultimately of their union. They have an abundance of love, sure. But it’s the under current of passion which drives water forward. Water which stays stagnant and safe becomes a swamp. but that safety is actually very dangerous. Things grow out of nothing.

Relationships NEED to have excitement.
Looking for lost passion? Sign up at AshleyMadison! Where we endorse cheating.
Or just go to Pornhub where you can feel a modicum of fleeting sexual energy like you used to feel but then further your loneliness in your deteriorating relationship! :D
woman creating drama? It’s a sign things are kind of boring. So she will create some sort of current to get the water moving between both people.

They will always create something — for their own excitement or just to know you still want them. No woman will never create any issues or problems. It’s all about us understanding which is which. in a worthy LTR, the ‘work’ which should actually be stated as ‘enjoyment’ never ceases.

aaand funny enough. Every guy who posts on this site actually does enjoy women and their games. Otherwise why do they keep coming back for more and in different ways? If someoneactually had enough or was a true ‘MGTOW’ they would be living in the bushes. They certainly wouldn’t be talking about women on SS or understanding biology haha
 
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wifehunter

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41, acting like she's 14. SMH
 

lamath

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And to further extrapolate on this; one will know which she wants AFTER the test/drama. Break up or closeness. Much like life, we can only understand what happens when connecting the dots backwards. Like detectives.

The woman I’m seeing does this like all other women.. and shortly after the annoyances, she’s being super sweet and wanting an abundant amount of s3x. In some form she will also put an idea of loss in my mind. A tactic to draw me closer. But when someone does this, you reassure that she’s always been free.

above all women want the man’s presence. women want passion which equates to uncertainty, freedom, spontaneity, presence. They also want love which encompasses security, reliability, consistency, presence.
We as men should be striving to cultivate and fortify both essences within ourself which are relatively always in balance. Not for a woman/women, but because it’s fvcking amazing. Why wouldn’t a woman desire both? And they certainly do. We coin these two sets of behaviour traits as ‘Alpha’ and ‘Beta’.
the alpha is wild and untamed. The beta is a dog who is always there.
being both is actually sustainable and ideal, to me anyways. Because I want a rewarding relationship, but I also need to pursue my passion and be wild within that. I want to feel fear as I rip down a road on a motorbike but I also want to experience depths of sweetness as I cook dinner with my girlfriend, or even watch a chick flick with her, but then shortly after be pulling her hair making her squeal and moan. Balance isn’t so bad right? Yin and Yang combined is fullness. How can we know edge without softness?
Women want to be FVCKED but they also want enveloped while JUST cuddling.

couples who have been together for years upon years fall in to the humdrum of love. The sex drops off and passion is lost. Enter: total comfortability. They reserve their days to the couch, Netflix, grocery shopping and the - maybe - one year getaway. Add kids in to the mix and you have routine and total predictability. The monotony of predictability is what strips them ultimately of their union. They have an abundance of love, sure. But it’s the under current of passion which drives water forward. Water which stays stagnant and safe becomes a swamp. but that safety is actually very dangerous. Things grow out of nothing.

Relationships NEED to have excitement.
Looking for lost passion? Sign up at AshleyMadison! Where we endorse cheating.
Or just go to Pornhub where you can feel a modicum of fleeting sexual energy like you used to feel but then further your loneliness in your deteriorating relationship! :D
woman creating drama? It’s a sign things are kind of boring. So she will create some sort of current to get the water moving between both people.

They will always create something — for their own excitement or just to know you still want them. No woman will never create any issues or problems. It’s all about us understanding which is which. in a worthy LTR, the ‘work’ which should actually be stated as ‘enjoyment’ never ceases.

aaand funny enough. Every guy who posts on this site actually does enjoy women and their games. Otherwise why do they keep coming back for more and in different ways? If someoneactually had enough or was a true ‘MGTOW’ they would be living in the bushes. They certainly wouldn’t be talking about women on SS or understanding biology haha
Good stuff i agree with you.

The Dumping lower interest **** test are imo easy to spot her action will show it to you.
 

sosousage

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The key is to not let her mental/emotional twists and turns change your mind. What she is really testing, whether she is aware of it or not, is whether she can control you. React how YOU want to react, not what will be the "right move" to placate her. What she most wants is proof that she cannot control you, and to feel like she is put in her place. Women want men they can't control, and despise men they can control.

Personally I would just embrace the drama and playfight back with her, then rough her up a bit sexually. She wants to be pacified by a strong man. Grab her, turn her around, and spank her fvcking @ss. Then push her up against the wall and talk to her about how c0cky she is and how she knows she is misbehaving. "Oh yeah, what are you gonna do daddy?". Put her in her place where she wants to be. I enjoy heat-filled playfights. Sigh.... I kinda miss my ex.
your posts are cringe please seek therapist
 

flowtheory

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I wouldn't put it that way, I don't think she is "trying" to control him
It’s subconscious. Like a child seeing how far they can get.
no one likes a small playing field. But no one wants too much. When a womancan get away with just about anything she might as well be single; some in relationships even act like they are, because the man didn't or doesn’t have a spine to say what’s too far
 

mrgoodstuff

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It’s subconscious. Like a child seeing how far they can get.
no one likes a small playing field. But no one wants too much. When a womancan get away with just about anything she might as well be single; some in relationships even act like they are, because the man didn't or doesn’t have a spine to say what’s too far
Or was unaware what goes on behind his back.
 

flowtheory

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Or was unaware what goes on behind his back.
The signs and flags are always there. Very difficult for someone to be passionate and caring with their partner if they’re cheating, sexting, flirting continuously, or massively disrespecting behind a partners back.

Some people simply choose to delude themselves to their partner or love interests poor behaviours, for ego protection. Also many choose to opt for having someone - anyone - rather than go it alone. Many believe the devil they know is better than the devil they don’t know; this is comfortability. But that also leads to danger too.
 

mrgoodstuff

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The signs and flags are always there. Very difficult for someone to be passionate and caring with their partner if they’re cheating, sexting, flirting continuously, or massively disrespecting behind a partners back.

Some people simply choose to delude themselves to their partner or love interests poor behaviours, for ego protection. Also many choose to opt for having someone - anyone - rather than go it alone. Many believe the devil they know is better than the devil they don’t know; this is comfortability. But that also leads to danger too.
Your right. If your emotionally invested and connected you will "feel" stressed or a wierd feeling for no reason at all.
 

Glassguy

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She would say that she didn't really needed space but wanted for me to calm her down.
Its not your job to calm her down. You have no control over her emotions. She does. I would keep this woman on a short leash and start looking at other options. Maybe it took a year for the real her to come out.

If a woman wants to do this on a consistent basis after a month, 6 months or a year......I will ignore her just like you did OP and if that doesnt work, eject.

It's doesn't matter if it's a s*** test or her beginning to pull the pin.
Either way its time for OP to have backup plans A, B and C. Which he should have as orbiters if he played his cards correctly.

Break ups, taking time apart......all should be as easy as ejecting one and replacing her with another. One text to one of your orbiters to either have them come over or use them for attention so the break up is easier.

I’ve actually found women who do these types of tests actually have a very strong desire for the person they are with. And instead of channeling those emotions to something positive (that which is logical and what a man would do) they create excitement and uncertainty (drama; that how the feminine operates).
I agree with this as well. Both happy and mad are great emotions. When a woman is indifferent, its over.

But the solution is still the same- ignoring and using S&D, having other options and ability to walk away are the fix.

In a perfect world she will not do this many times because the man will not tolerate it and just end it.

AMS (and other dating coaches) say that for a relationship to work for the man, there needs to be a break up at some point. That is the point where the man walks away and the woman has to FULLY submit to come back. It is really the only way a relationship will make it over time.

The only exception to this is if a woman see's that you are high value very early on and submits very early on. Its the exception to the rule and unless you have severely high status, money, etc., this will not be the case.
 

Elliot

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And to further extrapolate on this; one will know which she wants AFTER the test/drama. Break up or closeness. Much like life, we can only understand what happens when connecting the dots backwards. Like detectives.

The woman I’m seeing does this like all other women.. and shortly after the annoyances, she’s being super sweet and wanting an abundant amount of s3x. In some form she will also put an idea of loss in my mind. A tactic to draw me closer. But when someone does this, you reassure that she’s always been free.

above all women want the man’s presence. women want passion which equates to uncertainty, freedom, spontaneity, presence. They also want love which encompasses security, reliability, consistency, presence.
We as men should be striving to cultivate and fortify both essences within ourself which are relatively always in balance. Not for a woman/women, but because it’s fvcking amazing. Why wouldn’t a woman desire both? And they certainly do. We coin these two sets of behaviour traits as ‘Alpha’ and ‘Beta’.
the alpha is wild and untamed. The beta is a dog who is always there.
being both is actually sustainable and ideal, to me anyways. Because I want a rewarding relationship, but I also need to pursue my passion and be wild within that. I want to feel fear as I rip down a road on a motorbike but I also want to experience depths of sweetness as I cook dinner with my girlfriend, or even watch a chick flick with her, but then shortly after be pulling her hair making her squeal and moan. Balance isn’t so bad right? Yin and Yang combined is fullness. How can we know edge without softness?
Women want to be FVCKED but they also want enveloped while JUST cuddling.

couples who have been together for years upon years fall in to the humdrum of love. The sex drops off and passion is lost. Enter: total comfortability. They reserve their days to the couch, Netflix, grocery shopping and the - maybe - one year getaway. Add kids in to the mix and you have routine and total predictability. The monotony of predictability is what strips them ultimately of their union. They have an abundance of love, sure. But it’s the under current of passion which drives water forward. Water which stays stagnant and safe becomes a swamp. but that safety is actually very dangerous. Things grow out of nothing.

Relationships NEED to have excitement.
Looking for lost passion? Sign up at AshleyMadison! Where we endorse cheating.
Or just go to Pornhub where you can feel a modicum of fleeting sexual energy like you used to feel but then further your loneliness in your deteriorating relationship! :D
woman creating drama? It’s a sign things are kind of boring. So she will create some sort of current to get the water moving between both people.

They will always create something — for their own excitement or just to know you still want them. No woman will never create any issues or problems. It’s all about us understanding which is which. in a worthy LTR, the ‘work’ which should actually be stated as ‘enjoyment’ never ceases.

aaand funny enough. Every guy who posts on this site actually does enjoy women and their games. Otherwise why do they keep coming back for more and in different ways? If someoneactually had enough or was a true ‘MGTOW’ they would be living in the bushes. They certainly wouldn’t be talking about women on SS or understanding biology haha
This post perfectly crystallises the dynamics of polarised relationships in 1000 words or less - A+
 

flowtheory

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AMS (and other dating coaches) say that for a relationship to work for the man, there needs to be a break up at some point. That is the point where the man walks away and the woman has to FULLY submit to come back. It is really the only way a relationship will make it over time.
While I do see the merit in this, I would maybe believe that that submissiveness may be fleeting and temporary, until the pattern of how these two interact gets back on track.

I know I’ve read many times throughout relationship searches on Google that partners who have left a significant other due to various circumstances are broken once again shortly after the ardent renewal of their partnership; as old ways ultimately ensue and get the better of the relationship, only having to collapse the relationship once again.
Also to add: many couples do repeat this process many times over. This would be categorized as toxicity and slight dependence.


I also believe personally that if a relationship breaks once, it’s as a good as gone. But I do believe the context of why the relationship ends is important.


The only exception to this is if a woman see's that you are high value very early on and submits very early on. Its the exception to the rule and unless you have severely high status, money, etc., this will not be the case.
this is certainly a factor. But ones character and behaviour has to be steadfast throughout to keep her submissive.

for any normal couple, I think the woman becoming submissive is a long term approach, rather than an instant dynamic. But like everything, it’s always in flux. A never ending game of whack-a-mole. But the moles are what life and the woman throw at us. It’s all in how we handle it.

Life is extremely complicated.
 

EyeOnThePrize

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And to further extrapolate on this; one will know which she wants AFTER the test/drama. Break up or closeness. Much like life, we can only understand what happens when connecting the dots backwards. Like detectives.

The woman I’m seeing does this like all other women.. and shortly after the annoyances, she’s being super sweet and wanting an abundant amount of s3x. In some form she will also put an idea of loss in my mind. A tactic to draw me closer. But when someone does this, you reassure that she’s always been free.

above all women want the man’s presence. women want passion which equates to uncertainty, freedom, spontaneity, presence. They also want love which encompasses security, reliability, consistency, presence.
We as men should be striving to cultivate and fortify both essences within ourself which are relatively always in balance. Not for a woman/women, but because it’s fvcking amazing. Why wouldn’t a woman desire both? And they certainly do. We coin these two sets of behaviour traits as ‘Alpha’ and ‘Beta’.
the alpha is wild and untamed. The beta is a dog who is always there.
being both is actually sustainable and ideal, to me anyways. Because I want a rewarding relationship, but I also need to pursue my passion and be wild within that. I want to feel fear as I rip down a road on a motorbike but I also want to experience depths of sweetness as I cook dinner with my girlfriend, or even watch a chick flick with her, but then shortly after be pulling her hair making her squeal and moan. Balance isn’t so bad right? Yin and Yang combined is fullness. How can we know edge without softness?
Women want to be FVCKED but they also want enveloped while JUST cuddling.

couples who have been together for years upon years fall in to the humdrum of love. The sex drops off and passion is lost. Enter: total comfortability. They reserve their days to the couch, Netflix, grocery shopping and the - maybe - one year getaway. Add kids in to the mix and you have routine and total predictability. The monotony of predictability is what strips them ultimately of their union. They have an abundance of love, sure. But it’s the under current of passion which drives water forward. Water which stays stagnant and safe becomes a swamp. but that safety is actually very dangerous. Things grow out of nothing.

Relationships NEED to have excitement.
Looking for lost passion? Sign up at AshleyMadison! Where we endorse cheating.
Or just go to Pornhub where you can feel a modicum of fleeting sexual energy like you used to feel but then further your loneliness in your deteriorating relationship! :D
woman creating drama? It’s a sign things are kind of boring. So she will create some sort of current to get the water moving between both people.

They will always create something — for their own excitement or just to know you still want them. No woman will never create any issues or problems. It’s all about us understanding which is which. in a worthy LTR, the ‘work’ which should actually be stated as ‘enjoyment’ never ceases.

aaand funny enough. Every guy who posts on this site actually does enjoy women and their games. Otherwise why do they keep coming back for more and in different ways? If someoneactually had enough or was a true ‘MGTOW’ they would be living in the bushes. They certainly wouldn’t be talking about women on SS or understanding biology haha
There are women that will create positive drama when they're bored, rather than negative, like plan a trip for both of you or surprise you with something like a sexy new outfit. Purposeful negative drama is toxic and will be your undoing.

The problem with balancing both alpha and beta traits is it's entirely arbitrary and ambiguous. And guys can easily do things that will only make them weaker in the long term. Molding your woman is a masculine trait, but exercising the needed patience can be seen as beta. Eg, If she isn't following and constantly causing friction, showing disrespect, it's time to check and walk if necessary. If you stay despite her disrespect you are disrespecting yourself... Or are you being patient and understanding?

I like how guru has put it, that any action can be taken in any mindset, strong or weak, out of love or fear, so the act itself isn't important, but rather the intent behind it.
 

flowtheory

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There are women that will create positive drama when they're bored, rather than negative, like plan a trip for both of you or surprise you with something like a sexy new outfit. Purposeful negative drama is toxic and will be your undoing.

The problem with balancing both alpha and beta traits is it's entirely arbitrary and ambiguous. And guys can easily do things that will only make them weaker in the long term. Molding your woman is a masculine trait, but exercising the needed patience can be seen as beta. Eg, If she isn't following and constantly causing friction, showing disrespect, it's time to check and walk if necessary. If you stay despite her disrespect you are disrespecting yourself... Or are you being patient and understanding?

I like how guru has put it, that any action can be taken in any mindset, strong or weak, out of love or fear, so the act itself isn't important, but rather the intent behind it.
I think the first question to ones self should be “is how I’m about to/did I act rooted in self respect?” If yes, proceed to do whatever that is.
the idea of beta - highly ambiguous and subjective - is sacrificing ones own respect for the woman. Patience and understanding isn’t beta. It’s strength and ‘alpha’ if we need labels for clarity. However, if that understanding and patience leads to resentment, then it was never giving value in the first place, It was given in with the expectation of needed reciprocity.

Self respect first. Everything follows from there.
 

EyeOnThePrize

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I think the first question to ones self should be “is how I’m about to/did I act rooted in self respect?” If yes, proceed to do whatever that is.
the idea of beta - highly ambiguous and subjective - is sacrificing ones own respect for the woman. Patience and understanding isn’t beta. It’s strength and ‘alpha’ if we need labels for clarity. However, if that understanding and patience leads to resentment, then it was never giving value in the first place, It was given in with the expectation of needed reciprocity.

Self respect first. Everything follows from there.
That seems like a different way to say the same thing. I guess it's self respect and accountability, owning every decision.
 

flowtheory

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That seems like a different way to say the same thing. I guess it's self respect and accountability, owning every decision.
That’s all we can really shoot for. Total awareness that we are honouring ourselves and are with someone who values us. But Alpha and Beta are really irrelevant terms as one can be shades of both in various avenues of their own life.
 

lamath

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That’s all we can really shoot for. Total awareness that we are honouring ourselves and are with someone who values us. But Alpha and Beta are really irrelevant terms as one can be shades of both in various avenues of their own life.
Could not agree more.

You want someone who will learn to see the word as you do and not the other way.
If something does not feel right to you it does not matter what other thing you follow your instinct


IMO Alpha and Beta is BS you respect yourself and do whats best for you and you will never be a AFC/Beta its that simple.
 
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