Girlfriend started on annoying shyt tests.

AttackFormation

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@AttackFormation seems correct in that it’s also about control. She’s trying to control him through her uncontrollable emotions.
I wouldn't put it that way, I don't think she is "trying" to control him. I think she is just acting naturally. The point is that he shouldn't let her behavior control him, whether she actually calculates it or not, as it would cause her to lose respect.

And after this:

For example when she comes back and says "why didn't you come after me?!" I'd do something like pretend to be shocked and say "have I not come after you?! OMG!! what about my feelings??! maybe I can't do it because you never care about me" and pout. Then you keep messing with her and start grinning. I make it so theatric and exaggerated that there's no way she could take it too seriously, which is the point. Agree & amplify her drama and turn it back on her, hahaha.
Eventually you can feel her calming down a bit and wanting to be reassured, and that's when you tone it down and start getting physical with her. Start hugging, caressing and kissing her. Then she might say something like "I hate you", and there you go.

Fvck, I'm a master at this shyt.... I miss doing this shyt with my ex.
 
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lamath

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I’ve actually found women who do these types of tests actually have a very strong desire for the person they are with. And instead of channeling those emotions to something positive (that which is logical and what a man would do) they create excitement and uncertainty (drama; that how the feminine operates).
I kind of agree with this imo its either she lost attraction and trying to find a reason to dump you
OR
She is strongly attracted and it is making her insecure and afraid of the lack of control, so she try to gain security and control with **** test.
imo men failing those **** test will make her attraction goes down because insecurity is needed for high attraction level.
 

flowtheory

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I kind of agree with this imo its either she lost attraction and trying to find a reason to dump you
OR
She is strongly attracted and it is making her insecure and afraid of the lack of control, so she try to gain security and control with **** test.
imo men failing those **** test will make her attraction goes down because insecurity is needed for high attraction level.
And to further extrapolate on this; one will know which she wants AFTER the test/drama. Break up or closeness. Much like life, we can only understand what happens when connecting the dots backwards. Like detectives.

The woman I’m seeing does this like all other women.. and shortly after the annoyances, she’s being super sweet and wanting an abundant amount of s3x. In some form she will also put an idea of loss in my mind. A tactic to draw me closer. But when someone does this, you reassure that she’s always been free.

above all women want the man’s presence. women want passion which equates to uncertainty, freedom, spontaneity, presence. They also want love which encompasses security, reliability, consistency, presence.
We as men should be striving to cultivate and fortify both essences within ourself which are relatively always in balance. Not for a woman/women, but because it’s fvcking amazing. Why wouldn’t a woman desire both? And they certainly do. We coin these two sets of behaviour traits as ‘Alpha’ and ‘Beta’.
the alpha is wild and untamed. The beta is a dog who is always there.
being both is actually sustainable and ideal, to me anyways. Because I want a rewarding relationship, but I also need to pursue my passion and be wild within that. I want to feel fear as I rip down a road on a motorbike but I also want to experience depths of sweetness as I cook dinner with my girlfriend, or even watch a chick flick with her, but then shortly after be pulling her hair making her squeal and moan. Balance isn’t so bad right? Yin and Yang combined is fullness. How can we know edge without softness?
Women want to be FVCKED but they also want enveloped while JUST cuddling.

couples who have been together for years upon years fall in to the humdrum of love. The sex drops off and passion is lost. Enter: total comfortability. They reserve their days to the couch, Netflix, grocery shopping and the - maybe - one year getaway. Add kids in to the mix and you have routine and total predictability. The monotony of predictability is what strips them ultimately of their union. They have an abundance of love, sure. But it’s the under current of passion which drives water forward. Water which stays stagnant and safe becomes a swamp. but that safety is actually very dangerous. Things grow out of nothing.

Relationships NEED to have excitement.
Looking for lost passion? Sign up at AshleyMadison! Where we endorse cheating.
Or just go to Pornhub where you can feel a modicum of fleeting sexual energy like you used to feel but then further your loneliness in your deteriorating relationship! :D
woman creating drama? It’s a sign things are kind of boring. So she will create some sort of current to get the water moving between both people.

They will always create something — for their own excitement or just to know you still want them. No woman will never create any issues or problems. It’s all about us understanding which is which. in a worthy LTR, the ‘work’ which should actually be stated as ‘enjoyment’ never ceases.

aaand funny enough. Every guy who posts on this site actually does enjoy women and their games. Otherwise why do they keep coming back for more and in different ways? If someoneactually had enough or was a true ‘MGTOW’ they would be living in the bushes. They certainly wouldn’t be talking about women on SS or understanding biology haha
 
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wifehunter

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41, acting like she's 14. SMH
 

lamath

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And to further extrapolate on this; one will know which she wants AFTER the test/drama. Break up or closeness. Much like life, we can only understand what happens when connecting the dots backwards. Like detectives.

The woman I’m seeing does this like all other women.. and shortly after the annoyances, she’s being super sweet and wanting an abundant amount of s3x. In some form she will also put an idea of loss in my mind. A tactic to draw me closer. But when someone does this, you reassure that she’s always been free.

above all women want the man’s presence. women want passion which equates to uncertainty, freedom, spontaneity, presence. They also want love which encompasses security, reliability, consistency, presence.
We as men should be striving to cultivate and fortify both essences within ourself which are relatively always in balance. Not for a woman/women, but because it’s fvcking amazing. Why wouldn’t a woman desire both? And they certainly do. We coin these two sets of behaviour traits as ‘Alpha’ and ‘Beta’.
the alpha is wild and untamed. The beta is a dog who is always there.
being both is actually sustainable and ideal, to me anyways. Because I want a rewarding relationship, but I also need to pursue my passion and be wild within that. I want to feel fear as I rip down a road on a motorbike but I also want to experience depths of sweetness as I cook dinner with my girlfriend, or even watch a chick flick with her, but then shortly after be pulling her hair making her squeal and moan. Balance isn’t so bad right? Yin and Yang combined is fullness. How can we know edge without softness?
Women want to be FVCKED but they also want enveloped while JUST cuddling.

couples who have been together for years upon years fall in to the humdrum of love. The sex drops off and passion is lost. Enter: total comfortability. They reserve their days to the couch, Netflix, grocery shopping and the - maybe - one year getaway. Add kids in to the mix and you have routine and total predictability. The monotony of predictability is what strips them ultimately of their union. They have an abundance of love, sure. But it’s the under current of passion which drives water forward. Water which stays stagnant and safe becomes a swamp. but that safety is actually very dangerous. Things grow out of nothing.

Relationships NEED to have excitement.
Looking for lost passion? Sign up at AshleyMadison! Where we endorse cheating.
Or just go to Pornhub where you can feel a modicum of fleeting sexual energy like you used to feel but then further your loneliness in your deteriorating relationship! :D
woman creating drama? It’s a sign things are kind of boring. So she will create some sort of current to get the water moving between both people.

They will always create something — for their own excitement or just to know you still want them. No woman will never create any issues or problems. It’s all about us understanding which is which. in a worthy LTR, the ‘work’ which should actually be stated as ‘enjoyment’ never ceases.

aaand funny enough. Every guy who posts on this site actually does enjoy women and their games. Otherwise why do they keep coming back for more and in different ways? If someoneactually had enough or was a true ‘MGTOW’ they would be living in the bushes. They certainly wouldn’t be talking about women on SS or understanding biology haha
Good stuff i agree with you.

The Dumping lower interest **** test are imo easy to spot her action will show it to you.
 
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markfromeurope

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I’ve actually found women who do these types of tests actually have a very strong desire for the person they are with. And instead of channeling those emotions to something positive (that which is logical and what a man would do) they create excitement and uncertainty (drama; that how the feminine operates).

this is why men get upset and bent out of shape. If a man isn’t understanding the nothing fights she creates, he isn’t understanding the world of polarization or spontaneity. Which is fine, but it will just drain him. And he won’t be able to create humour from a situation like Attack said with play fighting.
@AttackFormation seems correct in that it’s also about control. She’s trying to control him through her uncontrollable emotions. By her being totally vulnerable to her emotions it means she is open to possible hurt or being left. She seeks temporary frame control.

Creating drama is also a proper gauge to see if he man still cares enough about her to fight with her. If she’s not receiving his positive presence, she will obtain his presence through the means of negative (drama). In the end presence is what she ultimately craves. Couple this with the fact that she is usually feminine and enjoyable to be around most other times.. it’s probably nothing to worry about.
That's true. I've mismanaged one serious relationship where woman truly cared about me like that. I still regret it.

Man should know how to manage female feelings like that.
 

sosousage

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The key is to not let her mental/emotional twists and turns change your mind. What she is really testing, whether she is aware of it or not, is whether she can control you. React how YOU want to react, not what will be the "right move" to placate her. What she most wants is proof that she cannot control you, and to feel like she is put in her place. Women want men they can't control, and despise men they can control.

Personally I would just embrace the drama and playfight back with her, then rough her up a bit sexually. She wants to be pacified by a strong man. Grab her, turn her around, and spank her fvcking @ss. Then push her up against the wall and talk to her about how c0cky she is and how she knows she is misbehaving. "Oh yeah, what are you gonna do daddy?". Put her in her place where she wants to be. I enjoy heat-filled playfights. Sigh.... I kinda miss my ex.
your posts are cringe please seek therapist
 

flowtheory

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I wouldn't put it that way, I don't think she is "trying" to control him
It’s subconscious. Like a child seeing how far they can get.
no one likes a small playing field. But no one wants too much. When a womancan get away with just about anything she might as well be single; some in relationships even act like they are, because the man didn't or doesn’t have a spine to say what’s too far
 

mrgoodstuff

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It’s subconscious. Like a child seeing how far they can get.
no one likes a small playing field. But no one wants too much. When a womancan get away with just about anything she might as well be single; some in relationships even act like they are, because the man didn't or doesn’t have a spine to say what’s too far
Or was unaware what goes on behind his back.
 

flowtheory

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Or was unaware what goes on behind his back.
The signs and flags are always there. Very difficult for someone to be passionate and caring with their partner if they’re cheating, sexting, flirting continuously, or massively disrespecting behind a partners back.

Some people simply choose to delude themselves to their partner or love interests poor behaviours, for ego protection. Also many choose to opt for having someone - anyone - rather than go it alone. Many believe the devil they know is better than the devil they don’t know; this is comfortability. But that also leads to danger too.
 
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mrgoodstuff

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The signs and flags are always there. Very difficult for someone to be passionate and caring with their partner if they’re cheating, sexting, flirting continuously, or massively disrespecting behind a partners back.

Some people simply choose to delude themselves to their partner or love interests poor behaviours, for ego protection. Also many choose to opt for having someone - anyone - rather than go it alone. Many believe the devil they know is better than the devil they don’t know; this is comfortability. But that also leads to danger too.
Your right. If your emotionally invested and connected you will "feel" stressed or a wierd feeling for no reason at all.
 

Glassguy

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She would say that she didn't really needed space but wanted for me to calm her down.
Its not your job to calm her down. You have no control over her emotions. She does. I would keep this woman on a short leash and start looking at other options. Maybe it took a year for the real her to come out.

If a woman wants to do this on a consistent basis after a month, 6 months or a year......I will ignore her just like you did OP and if that doesnt work, eject.

It's doesn't matter if it's a s*** test or her beginning to pull the pin.
Either way its time for OP to have backup plans A, B and C. Which he should have as orbiters if he played his cards correctly.

Break ups, taking time apart......all should be as easy as ejecting one and replacing her with another. One text to one of your orbiters to either have them come over or use them for attention so the break up is easier.

I’ve actually found women who do these types of tests actually have a very strong desire for the person they are with. And instead of channeling those emotions to something positive (that which is logical and what a man would do) they create excitement and uncertainty (drama; that how the feminine operates).
I agree with this as well. Both happy and mad are great emotions. When a woman is indifferent, its over.

But the solution is still the same- ignoring and using S&D, having other options and ability to walk away are the fix.

In a perfect world she will not do this many times because the man will not tolerate it and just end it.

AMS (and other dating coaches) say that for a relationship to work for the man, there needs to be a break up at some point. That is the point where the man walks away and the woman has to FULLY submit to come back. It is really the only way a relationship will make it over time.

The only exception to this is if a woman see's that you are high value very early on and submits very early on. Its the exception to the rule and unless you have severely high status, money, etc., this will not be the case.
 

Elliot

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And to further extrapolate on this; one will know which she wants AFTER the test/drama. Break up or closeness. Much like life, we can only understand what happens when connecting the dots backwards. Like detectives.

The woman I’m seeing does this like all other women.. and shortly after the annoyances, she’s being super sweet and wanting an abundant amount of s3x. In some form she will also put an idea of loss in my mind. A tactic to draw me closer. But when someone does this, you reassure that she’s always been free.

above all women want the man’s presence. women want passion which equates to uncertainty, freedom, spontaneity, presence. They also want love which encompasses security, reliability, consistency, presence.
We as men should be striving to cultivate and fortify both essences within ourself which are relatively always in balance. Not for a woman/women, but because it’s fvcking amazing. Why wouldn’t a woman desire both? And they certainly do. We coin these two sets of behaviour traits as ‘Alpha’ and ‘Beta’.
the alpha is wild and untamed. The beta is a dog who is always there.
being both is actually sustainable and ideal, to me anyways. Because I want a rewarding relationship, but I also need to pursue my passion and be wild within that. I want to feel fear as I rip down a road on a motorbike but I also want to experience depths of sweetness as I cook dinner with my girlfriend, or even watch a chick flick with her, but then shortly after be pulling her hair making her squeal and moan. Balance isn’t so bad right? Yin and Yang combined is fullness. How can we know edge without softness?
Women want to be FVCKED but they also want enveloped while JUST cuddling.

couples who have been together for years upon years fall in to the humdrum of love. The sex drops off and passion is lost. Enter: total comfortability. They reserve their days to the couch, Netflix, grocery shopping and the - maybe - one year getaway. Add kids in to the mix and you have routine and total predictability. The monotony of predictability is what strips them ultimately of their union. They have an abundance of love, sure. But it’s the under current of passion which drives water forward. Water which stays stagnant and safe becomes a swamp. but that safety is actually very dangerous. Things grow out of nothing.

Relationships NEED to have excitement.
Looking for lost passion? Sign up at AshleyMadison! Where we endorse cheating.
Or just go to Pornhub where you can feel a modicum of fleeting sexual energy like you used to feel but then further your loneliness in your deteriorating relationship! :D
woman creating drama? It’s a sign things are kind of boring. So she will create some sort of current to get the water moving between both people.

They will always create something — for their own excitement or just to know you still want them. No woman will never create any issues or problems. It’s all about us understanding which is which. in a worthy LTR, the ‘work’ which should actually be stated as ‘enjoyment’ never ceases.

aaand funny enough. Every guy who posts on this site actually does enjoy women and their games. Otherwise why do they keep coming back for more and in different ways? If someoneactually had enough or was a true ‘MGTOW’ they would be living in the bushes. They certainly wouldn’t be talking about women on SS or understanding biology haha
This post perfectly crystallises the dynamics of polarised relationships in 1000 words or less - A+
 
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stormrider

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Good to see that guys on this board actually “get it” and I don’t have to read Pua rhetoric over and over again ad nauseam.

At some point it seemed as if men in the manosphere outsourced their knowledge to the Pua community.

But if you actually use your powers of observation, you will see that 75% of the time, a woman would neg you out of attraction just to knock you down a couple of pegs as a reflection of her own powerlessness and insecurity.

It is not a test by any means. It’s just a reaction to your dominant presence. Now imagine we act all reactive and supplicating. That’s when the guy “fails”. He completely destroys her image of him as a masculine and unreactive guy. These 5’2 115 lb women cannot imagine they have any emotional effect on you.

At some point, maybe because of social conditioning, guys forgot how to be charming rascals. We are supposed to treat women like little brats and never take them seriously. We are supposed to laugh at their power games and tease them back. We are supposed to get on their nerves by showing how completely unaffected we are by their tantrums. The more mad she gets, the more The guy looks amused. This is the masculine - feminine dynamic.
 
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flowtheory

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AMS (and other dating coaches) say that for a relationship to work for the man, there needs to be a break up at some point. That is the point where the man walks away and the woman has to FULLY submit to come back. It is really the only way a relationship will make it over time.
While I do see the merit in this, I would maybe believe that that submissiveness may be fleeting and temporary, until the pattern of how these two interact gets back on track.

I know I’ve read many times throughout relationship searches on Google that partners who have left a significant other due to various circumstances are broken once again shortly after the ardent renewal of their partnership; as old ways ultimately ensue and get the better of the relationship, only having to collapse the relationship once again.
Also to add: many couples do repeat this process many times over. This would be categorized as toxicity and slight dependence.


I also believe personally that if a relationship breaks once, it’s as a good as gone. But I do believe the context of why the relationship ends is important.


The only exception to this is if a woman see's that you are high value very early on and submits very early on. Its the exception to the rule and unless you have severely high status, money, etc., this will not be the case.
this is certainly a factor. But ones character and behaviour has to be steadfast throughout to keep her submissive.

for any normal couple, I think the woman becoming submissive is a long term approach, rather than an instant dynamic. But like everything, it’s always in flux. A never ending game of whack-a-mole. But the moles are what life and the woman throw at us. It’s all in how we handle it.

Life is extremely complicated.
 

stormrider

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AMS (and other dating coaches) say that for a relationship to work for the man, there needs to be a break up at some point. That is the point where the man walks away and the woman has to FULLY submit to come back. It is really the only way a relationship will make it over time.

The only exception to this is if a woman see's that you are high value very early on and submits very early on. Its the exception to the rule and unless you have severely high status, money, etc., this will not be the case.
This is just my experience but the situation where there is a break up and the man walks away and the woman has to fully submit in order to come back = She was on a c0ck carousel and got pump and dumped a few times. Over time she developed a defense mechanism. Dealing with her is like a negotiation. You try to escalate things physically and she backs off. Eventually the guy has enough and leaves. At some point one party re-initiates and she reveals that she just doesn't want to get played. So the guy commits, and the woman submits. This has been my experiene with just about every ex- c0ck carousel riding woman trying to reform herself. Experience has taught her she should negotiate for an exclusive relationship.

The exception = She's more of a relationship type and never rode the c0ck carousel that much so she goes by her feelings and knows that she should submit to a guy in order to seduce him. She has no defense mechanisms because she doesn't know what it's like to be used for sex constantly.

This is why I always preach going for high interest/instant submission/total commitment right away. Those are the best relationships with women with the least mileage. The ones who "negotiate" have a history you don't even want to know about. Some women are so damaged by the c0ck carousel that they go "tic for tac" with you on everything. Even if you've already slept with them, they can't just come straight to your house on a Friday night. You have to constantly prove to them that you are not using them for sex - even if the two of you are already in a relationship. Lol. They would submit on one level but not on another level. After awhile the guy gets tired of the negotiations and ends up pump and dumping her anyway - which makes her even MORE jaded and rigid for the next guy. And so on and so forth until she becomes a cat lady.

Ladies - once you tip your hand into the cookie jar and ride the c0ck carousel, it's over. There is no redemption. The defense mechanisms just get worse over time.

The EXCEPTION to all of this, however, is if the "reformed" slvt finds a cuck pushover who is willing to put up with her sh1t. But if you think about it, it's just two losers settling for each other because noone else wants them. And she knows she will never be satisfied. She might even have total contempt for her cuck bf/husband and would cheat on him at every opportunity.
 
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EyeOnThePrize

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And to further extrapolate on this; one will know which she wants AFTER the test/drama. Break up or closeness. Much like life, we can only understand what happens when connecting the dots backwards. Like detectives.

The woman I’m seeing does this like all other women.. and shortly after the annoyances, she’s being super sweet and wanting an abundant amount of s3x. In some form she will also put an idea of loss in my mind. A tactic to draw me closer. But when someone does this, you reassure that she’s always been free.

above all women want the man’s presence. women want passion which equates to uncertainty, freedom, spontaneity, presence. They also want love which encompasses security, reliability, consistency, presence.
We as men should be striving to cultivate and fortify both essences within ourself which are relatively always in balance. Not for a woman/women, but because it’s fvcking amazing. Why wouldn’t a woman desire both? And they certainly do. We coin these two sets of behaviour traits as ‘Alpha’ and ‘Beta’.
the alpha is wild and untamed. The beta is a dog who is always there.
being both is actually sustainable and ideal, to me anyways. Because I want a rewarding relationship, but I also need to pursue my passion and be wild within that. I want to feel fear as I rip down a road on a motorbike but I also want to experience depths of sweetness as I cook dinner with my girlfriend, or even watch a chick flick with her, but then shortly after be pulling her hair making her squeal and moan. Balance isn’t so bad right? Yin and Yang combined is fullness. How can we know edge without softness?
Women want to be FVCKED but they also want enveloped while JUST cuddling.

couples who have been together for years upon years fall in to the humdrum of love. The sex drops off and passion is lost. Enter: total comfortability. They reserve their days to the couch, Netflix, grocery shopping and the - maybe - one year getaway. Add kids in to the mix and you have routine and total predictability. The monotony of predictability is what strips them ultimately of their union. They have an abundance of love, sure. But it’s the under current of passion which drives water forward. Water which stays stagnant and safe becomes a swamp. but that safety is actually very dangerous. Things grow out of nothing.

Relationships NEED to have excitement.
Looking for lost passion? Sign up at AshleyMadison! Where we endorse cheating.
Or just go to Pornhub where you can feel a modicum of fleeting sexual energy like you used to feel but then further your loneliness in your deteriorating relationship! :D
woman creating drama? It’s a sign things are kind of boring. So she will create some sort of current to get the water moving between both people.

They will always create something — for their own excitement or just to know you still want them. No woman will never create any issues or problems. It’s all about us understanding which is which. in a worthy LTR, the ‘work’ which should actually be stated as ‘enjoyment’ never ceases.

aaand funny enough. Every guy who posts on this site actually does enjoy women and their games. Otherwise why do they keep coming back for more and in different ways? If someoneactually had enough or was a true ‘MGTOW’ they would be living in the bushes. They certainly wouldn’t be talking about women on SS or understanding biology haha
There are women that will create positive drama when they're bored, rather than negative, like plan a trip for both of you or surprise you with something like a sexy new outfit. Purposeful negative drama is toxic and will be your undoing.

The problem with balancing both alpha and beta traits is it's entirely arbitrary and ambiguous. And guys can easily do things that will only make them weaker in the long term. Molding your woman is a masculine trait, but exercising the needed patience can be seen as beta. Eg, If she isn't following and constantly causing friction, showing disrespect, it's time to check and walk if necessary. If you stay despite her disrespect you are disrespecting yourself... Or are you being patient and understanding?

I like how guru has put it, that any action can be taken in any mindset, strong or weak, out of love or fear, so the act itself isn't important, but rather the intent behind it.
 

flowtheory

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There are women that will create positive drama when they're bored, rather than negative, like plan a trip for both of you or surprise you with something like a sexy new outfit. Purposeful negative drama is toxic and will be your undoing.

The problem with balancing both alpha and beta traits is it's entirely arbitrary and ambiguous. And guys can easily do things that will only make them weaker in the long term. Molding your woman is a masculine trait, but exercising the needed patience can be seen as beta. Eg, If she isn't following and constantly causing friction, showing disrespect, it's time to check and walk if necessary. If you stay despite her disrespect you are disrespecting yourself... Or are you being patient and understanding?

I like how guru has put it, that any action can be taken in any mindset, strong or weak, out of love or fear, so the act itself isn't important, but rather the intent behind it.
I think the first question to ones self should be “is how I’m about to/did I act rooted in self respect?” If yes, proceed to do whatever that is.
the idea of beta - highly ambiguous and subjective - is sacrificing ones own respect for the woman. Patience and understanding isn’t beta. It’s strength and ‘alpha’ if we need labels for clarity. However, if that understanding and patience leads to resentment, then it was never giving value in the first place, It was given in with the expectation of needed reciprocity.

Self respect first. Everything follows from there.
 
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