Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
This game is already over.Hogwild said:I feel like I wanna keep her .
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Translates to:Hogwild said:"I'm sorry I have issues I need time".
Back story is basically this girl I've been dating for for years, scared the **** out of me with dreams of a family and ****, of course I let my guard down that's when the typical arguments started shortly after, I was betafied! Haha. Now I get lots of **** test and I admit, I lacked game for about half the relationship. Now what? It's off to the suave forums is what and practicing reverting to my old ways. I got so content with this girl I gotta learn how to ride that old bike again so to say...LandingWood said:We need a backstory bro.
Haha I see where your coming from, thanks for the replysylvester the cat said:This game is already over.
I was hashing something like this out minus the take care? Also considering no response but I think an obvious indifferent response would be better? ThanksTheCWord said:Hog, your best shot:
"That's cool, I was thinking it's not working out anyways. Take care!"
Odds are she'll write back, "What do you mean it's not working out?!?" and you'll laugh and you'll laugh.
Maybe she doesn't respond that way but she comes around later after obsessing over the fact that you were so cool about breaking up.
Maybe nothing happens and you just end up moving on and patting yourself on the back for not acting like a needy wuss when faced with a breakup - knowing that an attitude like that is going to make attracting the next one even easier.
Thanks this is what I was thinking. I should agree with indifference. I will study more thanks for the reply broFrayzer said:Translates to:
"I'm sorry I'm loosing attraction for you because you're doing something AFC so I need time to either move on or allow you recreate attraction by not doing those AFC things; so don't chase me or I'll loose all respect/attraction for you and never talk to you again."
Is what she really said, your best move is to agree with indifference and go Ghost on her(wait until she contacts you) and talk to other girls. This may already be over, like slyvester said, but this is still the beginning of being dumped so there's still time to recreate attraction. In the mean time, study this forum and improve yourself.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You don't.Hogwild said:That's the text I got. How should I respond? Or not at all. Options opinions? Thanks bros. FYI I feel like I wanna keep her what game is best here? Thanks again.
you sayin to just go straight ghost on this girl and not reply? haha i still have not replied.Maximus Rex said:You don't.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Yep, JUST IGNORE HER. It's not up to the man to chase the women. If she wants you she'll make it clear. Allow her to pursue you from now.Hogwild said:you sayin to just go straight ghost on this girl and not reply? haha i still have not replied.
Thanks adam, will do read that!adam225 said:Yep, JUST IGNORE HER. It's not up to the man to chase the women. If she wants you she'll make it clear. Allow her to pursue you from now.
Read the "Just got dumped guide" (click on the "no contact challenge" for the link").
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.