"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Girlfriend says "I'm sorry I have issues I need time".
- Thread starter Hogwild
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
LandingWood
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2013
- Messages
- 189
- Reaction score
- 6
sylvester the cat
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2012
- Messages
- 1,695
- Reaction score
- 98
This game is already over.Hogwild said:
"That's cool, I was thinking it's not working out anyways. Take care!"
Odds are she'll write back, "What do you mean it's not working out?!?" and you'll laugh and you'll laugh.
Maybe she doesn't respond that way but she comes around later after obsessing over the fact that you were so cool about breaking up.
Maybe nothing happens and you just end up moving on and patting yourself on the back for not acting like a needy wuss when faced with a breakup - knowing that an attitude like that is going to make attracting the next one even easier.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Skyline
Master Don Juan
Translates to:Hogwild said:
"I'm sorry I'm loosing attraction for you because you're doing something AFC so I need time to either move on or allow you recreate attraction by not doing those AFC things; so don't chase me or I'll loose all respect/attraction for you and never talk to you again."
Is what she really said, your best move is to agree with indifference and go Ghost on her(wait until she contacts you) and talk to other girls. This may already be over, like slyvester said, but this is still the beginning of being dumped so there's still time to recreate attraction. In the mean time, study this forum and improve yourself.
Hogwild
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2013
- Messages
- 53
- Reaction score
- 1
Back story is basically this girl I've been dating for for years, scared the **** out of me with dreams of a family and ****, of course I let my guard down that's when the typical arguments started shortly after, I was betafied! Haha. Now I get lots of **** test and I admit, I lacked game for about half the relationship. Now what? It's off to the suave forums is what and practicing reverting to my old ways. I got so content with this girl I gotta learn how to ride that old bike again so to say...LandingWood said:
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
_sideways_
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2013
- Messages
- 1,919
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- 218
Maximus Rex
Banned
You don't.Hogwild said:
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Yep, JUST IGNORE HER. It's not up to the man to chase the women. If she wants you she'll make it clear. Allow her to pursue you from now.Hogwild said:
Read the "Just got dumped guide" (click on the "no contact challenge" for the link").
The Duke
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2008
- Messages
- 6,576
- Reaction score
- 11,624
Finally I flipped a switch and had accepted the fact that she was banging some other dude. When she'd call I started giving her one word answers, wouldn't call her back, ignored her texts, refused to work with her in dividing up our things, etc. This put her hamster wheel into overdrive. She started to question things she had done. It pretty much drove her ego into the ground.
I definitely was the one in power now. The one who cares the least has the most power. Soon I realized I didn't need a girl like this. The only kind of girl worth having is one who is totally into you 100pct of the time. The ones who are on the fence about you are a pain in the a$$ and will cause you lots of grief. They should only be used as a cahk receptacle.
All this girl of yours is doing is trying to set up a new relationship with some new guy. At the moment she's not quite sure it will work, which is why you are still sort of in the picture. Eventually when her confidence rises in regards to her new relationship she will toss you out with the garbage.
Most biatches are branch swingers. You got one on your hands. Ignore that twaht and let her land on her head.
Over the years I've learned women are pretty much like dogs, they all crave attention. You don't reward their bad behavior with your attention which is what you'll be doing if you keep trying to contact her.
Tictac
Banned
And then vanish.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.