OnetimePoster
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- Joined
- Feb 26, 2008
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Problem solved. Thanks for the help everyone (except you Technical
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Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Is she a virgin???OnetimePoster said:Um...I think she might be using me, unknowingly or not, to get over her trust issues.
Her bitter spitefulness might be replacing true affection for me.
She's not over her ex.
I'm probably just a paranoid jerk (I realise this.)
Basically, could this be the real deal? I doubt you can answer this for sure, but I don't know.
I get the feeling I have some heartache headed my way.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
When you click with a woman it works out so well that you dont end up posting about it on boards asking for advice. Clearly you WANT to click with this girl and for her part, you DONT click.OnetimePoster said:-She's an amazingly cute-funny girl that I really click with.
If you have to post this kind of pre-emptive aggressive defense, denigrating this board's posters, you clearly are working from a position of fragile ego and general insecurity. I know where you're coming from though, dont worry about it. I might have posted with the same snotty tone 2 years ago.Of course this forum is filled with idiots that won’t even bother reading and will only come up with a glib, shallow conclusion that will just end up insulting me. So in advance: Go screw yourself you jerks.
You're defensively insulating yourself from the interaction with this board's posters before its even taken place. Its obvious you fear it, or the issues that might be brought up by it. And well you should, you're living on ego rather than natural confidence and your trying to prop up a fragile self-concept. Like I said, work on yourself first.Of course I appreciate any serious responses, not that I'll come back to read them.