"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Girlfriend of six months

davester88

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Hey fellas,

Sort of an odd situation here, been seeing this girl for about 6 months now, but for the past couple we've been doing the distance thing dealing with college.

We've made a deal that we see each other every 3 weeks (for about 5 days at a time), so we see each other often.

My question is this: There is a guy from out of town staying at her place (she has a roommate) tonight, because he's helping with some sort of judging thing at their school tomorrow, he's an old friend, and he's graduated now, just needs a place to crash for the night.

On the surface, it's no harm no foul, as I doubt anything will happen (my girlfriend tells me she loves me/misses me all the time) but I just don't like the idea of another guy staying overnight in their apartment.

Any views or things I can say/should do without coming across as over aggressive? I couldn't have stopped it anyways, she just told me while we were on skype, and then he ended up arriving while I was skyping with her.

What can I do?

Help?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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SeymourCake

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Somethings definitely going on between the two. I'm sorry to say this, because this hurts me to tell you this. Don't ever fall in for those "I miss you/I love you" messages you get from her.
 

davester88

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I'm not so sure, it's a guy she hasn't seen since first year, who just needs a place to crash. I'm trying not to be oblivious, and I'm not falling into those messages but she's committed, I can tell for sure.

Is there anything I can/should say or do about this?
 

Alex DeLarge

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I wouldn't worry too much about it. It's something completely out of your control, so don't sweat it. Remember, you are the prize. If she passes you up for this guy. She loses.

How do you think she would feel about an old friend of yours who happens to be a girl staying over your place? If you don't think she would care, then you shouldn't care if this dude is over her place. Be on level with her emotions.
 

davester88

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I'm not too worried about it, it just bothers me that she didn't really give me a heads up about it irks me a little bit. She's texting me now, as her and her roommate are hanging out with the guy just chilling.

I know, I've had a place before too and while having a girlfriend had girls crash on my couch, it just bothers me a little bit. I don't want to come across as insecure (because I'm not), I just don't like the idea of another guy staying at their place (2 girls) without me there.

Should I say anything at all? Or just let it be?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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SeymourCake

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davester88 said:
I'm not too worried about it, it just bothers me that she didn't really give me a heads up about it irks me a little bit. She's texting me now, as her and her roommate are hanging out with the guy just chilling.

I know, I've had a place before too and while having a girlfriend had girls crash on my couch, it just bothers me a little bit. I don't want to come across as insecure (because I'm not), I just don't like the idea of another guy staying at their place (2 girls) without me there.

Should I say anything at all? Or just let it be?

Texts don't mean a thing man. At the same time, don't feel insecure about it. If she's doing what she think she is doing, then let it be. It's her loss that she's cheating on you. Move on.
 

davester88

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Because she has a guy sleeping on the couch that her and her roommate happen to be mutual friends with she's cheating on me "without a doubt"?

I have a hard time thinking you can put all women into that category.

How can you do that?
 

SeymourCake

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davester88 said:
Because she has a guy sleeping on the couch that her and her roommate happen to be mutual friends with she's cheating on me "without a doubt"?

I have a hard time thinking you can put all women into that category.

How can you do that?
Then why make this thread in the first place if you have aren't in doubt?
 

Brighty

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Stop worrying about it bro. You've gotten all the advice you need. Contrary to what some of the newcomers may think, women are not helpless to resist wh0ring themselves out to anything that has a penis. If you have no reason to worry, you have no reason to worry. Stop waiting for someone in this thread to tell you otherwise.
 

DMEDFISIK

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No need to worry. This is freedom to have other girls crash at your place too :D
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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AllJackedUp

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My girlfriend pulled a stunt like this not too long ago. She said she had a girl friend and a guy friend staying the night at her place and that they were both too drunk to drive home. I didn't say a word. Instead, that next weekend, I had a girl friend (platonic) help me out by getting "drunk" and staying the night at my place. Was my girlfriend pissed? YEP, but she learned her lesson to never do that again. I told her, "What's the problem? You had the same thing happen last weekend and I never flipped out." She knew I was right and she never disrespected me like that ever again. I handled it like a boss and so should you.
 

SamTheHobit

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Every one has some solid advice.. Anything you say to her about this guy will proberbly come off as insecure.
 

window

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you need to relax...calm down your mind and its fears which are generating anxiety...your chick will pick up on it if you keep it up and worse actually verbalise it. Bottom line is have some self control.
 
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