"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Girlfriend of six months

davester88

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Hey fellas,

Sort of an odd situation here, been seeing this girl for about 6 months now, but for the past couple we've been doing the distance thing dealing with college.

We've made a deal that we see each other every 3 weeks (for about 5 days at a time), so we see each other often.

My question is this: There is a guy from out of town staying at her place (she has a roommate) tonight, because he's helping with some sort of judging thing at their school tomorrow, he's an old friend, and he's graduated now, just needs a place to crash for the night.

On the surface, it's no harm no foul, as I doubt anything will happen (my girlfriend tells me she loves me/misses me all the time) but I just don't like the idea of another guy staying overnight in their apartment.

Any views or things I can say/should do without coming across as over aggressive? I couldn't have stopped it anyways, she just told me while we were on skype, and then he ended up arriving while I was skyping with her.

What can I do?

Help?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

SeymourCake

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Somethings definitely going on between the two. I'm sorry to say this, because this hurts me to tell you this. Don't ever fall in for those "I miss you/I love you" messages you get from her.
 

davester88

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I'm not so sure, it's a guy she hasn't seen since first year, who just needs a place to crash. I'm trying not to be oblivious, and I'm not falling into those messages but she's committed, I can tell for sure.

Is there anything I can/should say or do about this?
 

Alex DeLarge

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I wouldn't worry too much about it. It's something completely out of your control, so don't sweat it. Remember, you are the prize. If she passes you up for this guy. She loses.

How do you think she would feel about an old friend of yours who happens to be a girl staying over your place? If you don't think she would care, then you shouldn't care if this dude is over her place. Be on level with her emotions.
 

davester88

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I'm not too worried about it, it just bothers me that she didn't really give me a heads up about it irks me a little bit. She's texting me now, as her and her roommate are hanging out with the guy just chilling.

I know, I've had a place before too and while having a girlfriend had girls crash on my couch, it just bothers me a little bit. I don't want to come across as insecure (because I'm not), I just don't like the idea of another guy staying at their place (2 girls) without me there.

Should I say anything at all? Or just let it be?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

SeymourCake

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davester88 said:
I'm not too worried about it, it just bothers me that she didn't really give me a heads up about it irks me a little bit. She's texting me now, as her and her roommate are hanging out with the guy just chilling.

I know, I've had a place before too and while having a girlfriend had girls crash on my couch, it just bothers me a little bit. I don't want to come across as insecure (because I'm not), I just don't like the idea of another guy staying at their place (2 girls) without me there.

Should I say anything at all? Or just let it be?

Texts don't mean a thing man. At the same time, don't feel insecure about it. If she's doing what she think she is doing, then let it be. It's her loss that she's cheating on you. Move on.
 

davester88

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Because she has a guy sleeping on the couch that her and her roommate happen to be mutual friends with she's cheating on me "without a doubt"?

I have a hard time thinking you can put all women into that category.

How can you do that?
 

SeymourCake

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davester88 said:
Because she has a guy sleeping on the couch that her and her roommate happen to be mutual friends with she's cheating on me "without a doubt"?

I have a hard time thinking you can put all women into that category.

How can you do that?
Then why make this thread in the first place if you have aren't in doubt?
 

Brighty

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Stop worrying about it bro. You've gotten all the advice you need. Contrary to what some of the newcomers may think, women are not helpless to resist wh0ring themselves out to anything that has a penis. If you have no reason to worry, you have no reason to worry. Stop waiting for someone in this thread to tell you otherwise.
 

DMEDFISIK

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No need to worry. This is freedom to have other girls crash at your place too :D
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

AllJackedUp

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My girlfriend pulled a stunt like this not too long ago. She said she had a girl friend and a guy friend staying the night at her place and that they were both too drunk to drive home. I didn't say a word. Instead, that next weekend, I had a girl friend (platonic) help me out by getting "drunk" and staying the night at my place. Was my girlfriend pissed? YEP, but she learned her lesson to never do that again. I told her, "What's the problem? You had the same thing happen last weekend and I never flipped out." She knew I was right and she never disrespected me like that ever again. I handled it like a boss and so should you.
 

SamTheHobit

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Every one has some solid advice.. Anything you say to her about this guy will proberbly come off as insecure.
 

window

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you need to relax...calm down your mind and its fears which are generating anxiety...your chick will pick up on it if you keep it up and worse actually verbalise it. Bottom line is have some self control.
 
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