Da Realist
Master Don Juan
All of sudden doesn't want sex and fighting a lot? Dump her.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Girlfriend not interested in sex....
- Thread starter dmatter
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
hey you guys, wow im surprised to see so much support on this thread, i wasnt expecting a huge discussion to emerge in my absence, ive been busy due to work and such, im still reading the previous posts and alot of people bring up interesting views, i just wanted to let you guys now im still alive lol, ill give an update in about 10 mins or so
Thundernuts
Senior Don Juan
dude that got me rollingPokerStar said:
first off i wanna thank all of you for contributing to this thread and i want to add more to my current dilemma with her.
@ Rollo
I'm 21 and she is about to be 24 in dec. I live with my parents and she lives with her mother and two siblings.
@backbreaker
dude you bring some really good thoughts and ideas about the subject, ive thought she was cheating on me for a really long time but i refuse to break up with her unless i find some sort of proof. She cooks for me buys me lunch brags to her mother and family about me, The problem lies in the sex, i feel like i want it all the time and she doesnt, I only see her 2-3 times a week and no real privacy and to tell you the truth if i have sex only one time during those visits id be happy, but before we used to vibe alot more sexually, If i felt the urge to have sex so would she, and it wuldnt matter if it was in a car or in a hotel or in central park. it was wild crazy and unpredictable. but now it seems so boring and bland, because i try to replicate what was there in the beggining to have the same type of sex but she denies my advances and it shows in my face and my tempermant, and if i persist she gets extremley upset which eventually led to an arguement between us and thats when she posted what i said earlier.
So I dont know what to do in order respark those feelings of lust, she says she still wants to rip my clothes off and is still sexually attracted to me but she doesnt show it, so I feel as if constantly showing my need for sex is turning her off, but if i dont show interest in sex niether will she but then again if I do show interest and try she will find it annoying and it makes things worse. So I have no idea what to do.
@ Rollo
I'm 21 and she is about to be 24 in dec. I live with my parents and she lives with her mother and two siblings.
@backbreaker
dude you bring some really good thoughts and ideas about the subject, ive thought she was cheating on me for a really long time but i refuse to break up with her unless i find some sort of proof. She cooks for me buys me lunch brags to her mother and family about me, The problem lies in the sex, i feel like i want it all the time and she doesnt, I only see her 2-3 times a week and no real privacy and to tell you the truth if i have sex only one time during those visits id be happy, but before we used to vibe alot more sexually, If i felt the urge to have sex so would she, and it wuldnt matter if it was in a car or in a hotel or in central park. it was wild crazy and unpredictable. but now it seems so boring and bland, because i try to replicate what was there in the beggining to have the same type of sex but she denies my advances and it shows in my face and my tempermant, and if i persist she gets extremley upset which eventually led to an arguement between us and thats when she posted what i said earlier.
So I dont know what to do in order respark those feelings of lust, she says she still wants to rip my clothes off and is still sexually attracted to me but she doesnt show it, so I feel as if constantly showing my need for sex is turning her off, but if i dont show interest in sex niether will she but then again if I do show interest and try she will find it annoying and it makes things worse. So I have no idea what to do.
and i dont feel as if ive been weak with her in the relationship just in the sexual part because its obvious that i want it and she uses it to her advantage, It has been a gradual decrease but it does flucuate, because she completley surprised me in sept she pulled me *c0ck out and statred to blow me while i was driving to the beach and then shhe slept over, for two weeks and we had sex almost everyday. we also planned a trip to puerto rico for mid nov, so I believer it has to do with something I am doing that flucuates her interest in sex, me *****ing about it is obviously not the answer nor is it wokring.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Track_Star
Don Juan
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- 188
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This made me laugh! Good point!joe henny said:
TheAsianLoverReturns
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2010
- Messages
- 267
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You're not getting laid because you are a p*ssy.
I'm not trying to insult you, it's just the way I talk. I would offer you advice, but I don't think you have the backbone to implement the changes required.
What's appalling to me is the number of p*ssies on this forum that are justifying this b*tch's behavior...
What has happened to men?
I'm not trying to insult you, it's just the way I talk. I would offer you advice, but I don't think you have the backbone to implement the changes required.
What's appalling to me is the number of p*ssies on this forum that are justifying this b*tch's behavior...
What has happened to men?
Quality9.99
Don Juan
Well,this has not happened to me so I cannot tell you from experience, but what you have to do is make her miss you act like you dont ****ing care if u get HER ***** or not, hell see other women, I mean really if she says she wants to rip your clothes off then why the **** doesnt she do it.You are a man, she is a women, you are in a relationship => sex.SEX not lunches or braggin or w/e the hell she does.
Dont ignore her just be more cold to her cause she knows u want it BAD.Let her feel what it is like(IF she actually feels like you, which from your posts I understand that she does;but doesnt show it).
And you said something about turning her off because you want sex BAD when u barely see eachother and are not entitled to a lot of privacy?Well im sorry but that ***** is wack, I mean any girl that is attracted to you emotionally and physically(?) should desperetely want you to **** her after not seeing you, even for a few days, and in those days you dont even have privacy sometimes so its basically more than that(hope you understand).
**** words,watch her actions
Dont ignore her just be more cold to her cause she knows u want it BAD.Let her feel what it is like(IF she actually feels like you, which from your posts I understand that she does;but doesnt show it).
And you said something about turning her off because you want sex BAD when u barely see eachother and are not entitled to a lot of privacy?Well im sorry but that ***** is wack, I mean any girl that is attracted to you emotionally and physically(?) should desperetely want you to **** her after not seeing you, even for a few days, and in those days you dont even have privacy sometimes so its basically more than that(hope you understand).
**** words,watch her actions
Thundernuts
Senior Don Juan
Listen man, dont be a **** about it but Qaulity isn't just spewing a bunch of crap, what you have to do is let her know that you think this is some bull****, if she says she wants to tear your clothes off and ends up not doing it then tell her straight up you aren't in the mood to talk about it.
Listen, she is using sex for something i seriously doubt she is cheating on you(but you never know) but she is using it as a bargaining chip. Don't let the sex have any power of you and she will try and flaunt it in your face, show her you don't want it immedieately and she will flaunt it more, eventually youll be able to get it.
And mix things up a bit i don't want details but i hope to god you are doing the same positions and not giving her head and all that because if sex is boring then eventually everything about the relationship will get boing.
Listen, she is using sex for something i seriously doubt she is cheating on you(but you never know) but she is using it as a bargaining chip. Don't let the sex have any power of you and she will try and flaunt it in your face, show her you don't want it immedieately and she will flaunt it more, eventually youll be able to get it.
And mix things up a bit i don't want details but i hope to god you are doing the same positions and not giving her head and all that because if sex is boring then eventually everything about the relationship will get boing.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
well you know what, you may be right, but I have yet to find any solid proof of her doing so, and I may probably never do so, but unless I have proof I have no real reason to break up with her because i still have feelings for her so I would rather if anything use this as a learning experience and become a stronger man, so incase this does end I can go out and avoidd the same mistakes i did in this relationship, so for those of you who said im being a ***** help me regain my manhood back, if not for her then for the next chick.
Dmatter:
Unfortunately for you, reclaiming your manhood means only one thing, that you must force yourself to detach emotionally from your girl, at least in your head and in your actions, and to become indifferent to the point where you can actually be attractive when you are around her again... and not maybe just the usual boring 2 year relationship boyfriend... who is always around and has become ......the boring routine..
you can actually see couples when they hang out after a while they dont even talk to each other they are just there hanging out with serious faces, and.. you can tell they are bored.... these are the easiest women to hit on.
anyway, the only advice you gonna get from this forum is "BE WILLING TO MAN THE f UP AND BE WILLING TO WALK AWAY"
by doing your own thing, and giving her lots of space
give her the gift of missing you.... A LOT:
- make her contact you first in every way
- be the first one to end phone calls and seem busier than before
- be more dominant, lead her, be the one to make plans.
- HUGE: dress sharper than you are doing, get better clothes, haircut, take care of your appearance, go to the gym (she will think you are doing it to prepare yourself to attract another chick)
- learn to be funny and confident around her again.
- be totally indifferent if you sex her or not, as if you were getting it from 100 girls out there... (even if its not true)
these lil behaviors suggest that you are willing to walk away at any minute and guess what.. these are the behaviors that trigger ATTRACTION in your girl... so do it.
DONT CONTACT HER... make her work for your attention, when she senses she is losing you, she will grow respect, attraction and "love" for you, and sex will be her natural mechanism of using to keep you attracted.
good luck
Unfortunately for you, reclaiming your manhood means only one thing, that you must force yourself to detach emotionally from your girl, at least in your head and in your actions, and to become indifferent to the point where you can actually be attractive when you are around her again... and not maybe just the usual boring 2 year relationship boyfriend... who is always around and has become ......the boring routine..
you can actually see couples when they hang out after a while they dont even talk to each other they are just there hanging out with serious faces, and.. you can tell they are bored.... these are the easiest women to hit on.
anyway, the only advice you gonna get from this forum is "BE WILLING TO MAN THE f UP AND BE WILLING TO WALK AWAY"
by doing your own thing, and giving her lots of space
give her the gift of missing you.... A LOT:
- make her contact you first in every way
- be the first one to end phone calls and seem busier than before
- be more dominant, lead her, be the one to make plans.
- HUGE: dress sharper than you are doing, get better clothes, haircut, take care of your appearance, go to the gym (she will think you are doing it to prepare yourself to attract another chick)
- learn to be funny and confident around her again.
- be totally indifferent if you sex her or not, as if you were getting it from 100 girls out there... (even if its not true)
these lil behaviors suggest that you are willing to walk away at any minute and guess what.. these are the behaviors that trigger ATTRACTION in your girl... so do it.
DONT CONTACT HER... make her work for your attention, when she senses she is losing you, she will grow respect, attraction and "love" for you, and sex will be her natural mechanism of using to keep you attracted.
good luck
TheAsianLoverReturns
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2010
- Messages
- 267
- Reaction score
- 8
Well if you are ready to implement this, your life will get better.dmatter said:
1. Ignore the p*ssies that are putting the blame on you.
2. Start improving yourself so you can get better looking women.
3. Hit the clubs and online dating sites.
4. The best time to look for a job is while you have a job, the best time to get new women is while you still have one.
5. Once you have 3 women you are f*cking, kick your "gf" to the curb.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
Why do you even have a GF at 21? Dump her and don't even consider a steady GF until you're 30.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Razor Sharp
Senior Don Juan
^^ This times a million.Rollo Tomassi said:
Rollo, I really encourage you to make a succinct post on this topic and sticky that sucker on the main board. Half of the problems people have here is from premature commitments, and just being out of phase with their own life cycle.
20-30 is all about discovering yourself, and having as much fun as you can in the process. This is not post-WWII people, there is no pressure to procreate at 18 and be a father of 5 by the time you are 30.
I know lots of dudes who still follow this cookie cutter plan. 9 out of 10 of them end up cheating on their wives during a midlife crisis after they realize they haven't truly lived yet. Their lives are a wreck now, messy divorces, screwed up kids and half their money *POOF* gone just like that!
All of this could have been avoided if they had just done what came naturally, instead of what they thought they were supposed to be doing.
There is a time and a season for everything. The key to happiness is being in tune with the rhythm of your own life. Amazing how many people fail in this one simple aspect and suffer immeasurable consequences as a result.
You are only young once, and it lasts a VERY short time. Make the most of it or live with regret!