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Girlfriend not interested in sex....

harkkam08

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backbreaker said:
wrong, wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. wrong.



if she loved him, she would suck his ****ing ****. it's that ****ing simple.

why the hell, should HE have to do all the waiting and baiting while she goes through her ****. that's AFC mentality.


stop with the ****ing hallmark cliche's like "he means more to me the sex". sex is a normal part of any ****ing normal relatiornship, his relationship is not normal, briefcase he is not getting sex. yet he's stuppoed to halt his life while his woman goes through whatever (or whoever) she's going through, **** that.



what the ****? why lie? no.. actually.. i do kinda need sex to be happy.



god this is ****ing...wow don't get me started. man this pisses me off. lol, uncomfortable about the subject you act like we are talking about getting snipped or does she want to change birth control pills or do we want to move momma into a health care facility. we are talking about ****ing... and we are talking about it, becuase we aren't doing it. hell they dated for what did he say, 18 months, hell i walk in the bathroom with my fiancee using it and don't think twice about it lol, and you want to tell me sex makes her "uncomortable" lol. man. why should something they have probably done..okay hopefully done, hundreds of times be uncomfortable?


god that... you.. you don't post. just shut up and dont' give any one any advice until you learn better, if i could slap a person through a screen, man you'd be in for it.


an d i'm this ****ign pissed, because... this is a recipe for a breakup. there is not one possible way, that advice could not lead to a breakup.


we make this game 10x harder than it is. if a woman isn't having sex with you, it's becuase, she's not interested in having sex with you. now, that might mean, she doesn't like you, she's looking or she's getting it that i agree with. but all three of those things, steam from the same cause, her lack of interest in ****ing you, which is the real problem.



my advice would be to honestly, talk about it, but not in those words. she deserves that much. tell her hey, we aren't having sex. this isn't normal. i'm just telling you, if we aren't going to have sex i need to go. not that bluntly. if she throws any of that "you love me for my body" ****, bye, dont' let the door hit you. this is ******** ****.


they tell recovering addicts, play the whole tape out before you use again. well, i say to you, play this entire tape out, when you tell her, you dont' want her for your body... where, in this equation, does she one day just start magically jumping on your **** again?

if you aren't ****ing her, she will not see you as a sexual person, and she will see someone else. it's that simple.

if you ain't ****ing your woman, you need another one. as blunt as that maybe. i've been dating the same woman for almost 3 years, we **** at least 2-3 times a week, constantly. and you know what, i know, maybe half the time, she doesn't want to. not that she hates it, but it's not like you if i said babe let's just cuddle, she'd be mad or anything, but there are certain needs a man has. i don't even have a problem with 1 time a week, i'm a piratical sex person, i don't' have to have it everyday, but i'll be damned if she just came home one day and she told me that she isn't interested in sex and had the nerve to spew some crap to me talking about "you only like me for my body"


lol, ***** you got's to go lol (jokign would never call my woman a *****)
Well im glad that you and your girl are having sex maybe I'll give you a cookie. I never said it was okay not to have sex. But rather than just end the relationship its a way for him to work her back into sex rather than dumping her.

Do you just want him to walk up to her and say "hey give me sex or Im breaking up with you"

I dont know I always fight for the other person and I try my best to see if they're going through something or not.

The thing is that there are woman who were my friends have actually expressed the same thing about their bf's to me that she is saying to him. Its good having female friends so when you are dating a woman even though a womans advice can be wrong it helps to get a balanced perspective. ANd yes these women are still with these men, one couple together for 5 years another for 7 years. And the guys are my good high school friends.

Sometimes they can be right. Women that is.

Its simple She has decreased interest in sex, why she lost that interest could be a number of reasons. From what she said it appears she wants more romance, give it to her in a PUA way, ****y funny way play with her. Give her a date to the beach and grab her and kiss her and say "uhuh you cant have this" with a smile.

I mean do you want him to whine to his woman "give me sex now...why wont you give it to me....why"

Play the game. Should he start an argument with her over it "hey give me sex" and guilt her into it.

Yes my ex used to give me sex when she wasnt in the mood at times and even told me, "Baby I want to keep you happy and if Im not turned on doesnt matter" and I said "baby i feel the same, You know I cant get enough of you and if you want me and Im tired im still gonna go between your legs" and just stick my tongue out at her.

So why isnt she giving him sex even though a good woman is supposed to even though she might not be turned out. Maybe there is something DEEPER going on with her.

1) Maybe she is cheating
2) Maybe she is hormonal
3) Maybe she doesnt feel attracted to you but isnt cheating
4) Maybe she is telling the truth and wants to feel special

Which one are you going to pick?

1) If you pick cheating then you obviously have to confront her about it, in a offensive manner and end it with her right there and then.

2) Ask her if she is hormonal, she will get pissed and women have no idea when they are or arent it comes and goes so asking is pointless

3) Asking her if she isnt attracted to you anymore shows weakness and insecurity and if you can sense it you can try to work your magic, but do you think asking her "hey baby are you not attracted to me anymore?" is going to create anything positive? You could ask her in a masculine way at some point but not yet.

4) Ah the last option even though you have no idea that if this is the problem or not, its what you can play on and keep the relationship together, do you just want to end it over speculative cheating WTF is that. Romance her in a PUA way and then wait and observe her.

----

You'll know when you've turned enough of the charm on and if she still isnt responding, then just ask her "hey baby why arent we in between the sheets, are you still feeling down about it?" and if she says she is, just ask her "What would you say it was thats holding you back"

Then just use your BS meter to gauge her
1) she starts crying and says baby I dont feel loved by you (real)
2) She says "Idk its just im not sure hmm..." (WARNING bull****)

Just about any wishy washy answer is BS. Thats when you hold her hand and say, "(her name) I need to know whats going on with you its really starting to bother me"

if she avoids the subject or just walks away in anger or doesnt take you seriously.

breakup.

You did what you had to do, and didnt just assume she was cheating without any proof. Assumptions make you into an ass, I lost a decent girl because I would always be questioning her because this site seems to be paranoid.

"what no sex" means she is cheating
"what she flaked on you" she is losing interest
"what she said this and that" dump her ass

I just think you need to be a bit more balanced. Make your moves like a silent killer instead of big bang. Keep your cool, play along jump through a few hoops, re-evaluate, know that you are strong and will walk away at anytime but still play the game. Once it reaches your threshold of "enough is enough" Break up. Use some finesse you cant have a strong relationship if you keep threatening to leave every time you dont get what you want.

What do you think I did with my ex. I was always willing to walk away. If she had to cancel plans to take care of her mother or was late to a date, I told her "hey if you cant respect me I dont think this is going to work between me and you Im going to leave" => fight.

Turns out I didnt even bother to ask her why she was late or why she couldnt make it to our date. She was late because her mother had to be taken to the hospital and later I drive her to visit her there. She couldnt make it because her younger brother had just gotten arrested and she didnt want to tell me she was embarrassed, and I know its true because Ive been to her house and I knew the whole family was upset.

Pace your woman, apply suave and PUA techniques and observe reaction, SEX yes? ...good SEX No?....not good maybe breakup but first talk about it.

Sometimes threatening to walk away all the time can be some deep insecurity of being hurt and not being able to keep yourself a little bit open to possibly being hurt by a woman.

If he finds out she WAS cheating on him, is he going to feel a bit sheepish for not walking up to her and saying "Hey your c*nt smells now get your a** out of my house"

But a strong man doesnt always run for the hills every time a problem appears and he doesnt get what he wants. He stays even though he could get hurt, but in the back of his mind he always has his ACE card waiting if he needs to use it.

And dont kid yourself with that Abundance mentality and spinning plates, if youre with a woman for 18 months its not something you can just turn around and replace with another woman so you kind of owe to yourself to work a bit to save it.

Sure a girl you met two weeks ago shuts you down, no big deal you're spinning plates who gives a damn i got more girls. But 18 months slow down and pick your move player
 
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teacha

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:eek: :eek: :eek: harkkam08 are you a woman? that's one of the worst piece of bull i've heard on this forum. Backbreaker is right on this, sex is an important aspect of any normal relationship and withholding it is nothing but a power move from her part.

Chances are she's found someone else and wants you to break up with her or she simply not in love with you anymore, either way, it's not a good thing. Always be wary when a woman starts causing fights over silly things in a relationship. Also listen to what 1337 said, you need to start learning to control your sex drive and stop being a sex slave or women will continue to use that weakness to their advantage.

-Don't believe for one minute that a woman is not interested in having sex...she only not interested in having sex WITH YOU.

-Never for one second believe the women don't want sex as much as men myth, that's an outright lie. They want it just as bad as we do, if not more.
 

harkkam08

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Really dude? There wasnt a time you were going through shi*t in your life that you didnt feel like having sex? There were times I didnt in my life. Just so much sh*t on my mind pressure of work and making money and trying to get to the top of the corporate ladder.

Its also like people on this website dont know how to read between the lines.

Did I ever say sex wasnt an important part of a relationship. I always tell woman I date you know I think sex is about 40% of a relationship let them know where Im coming from.

Women may want it as bad but maybe she is going through some sh*t at least he should take a second to find out.

So I guess he should just breakup with her then.
 

Igetit!

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dmatter said:
So after 16 months of dating I feel as if my girlfriend no longer wants to have sex with me, when we first started dating we had sex anywhere and everywhere, now she feels as if thats all I want...
So she said that she doesn't want to have sex with you anymore,right? Well as you've figured out by now,something's up dude. A woman doesn't just wake up one morning after being in a relationship for over a year and just suddenly no longer wants sex.



She said that she's no longer interested in sex,but what did she say about the relationship? Did she say she wants to break up,or does she just want everything to remain the same only without the sex?



The reason I ask is this...if you're dating a woman and she says that she doesn't want sex,she doesn't mean that she no longer wants sex,what she means is that she no longer wants YOU.



You need to find out how she feels about the relationship. If she wants to leave,then naturally her "lost interest in sex" line's a lie,but if she still wants to see you and continue being in the relationship,then either her attraction for you is low,or she was actually telling you the truth with that line (which I doubt).


I'm with BackBreaker's response reply number 5. There could be many reasons why she's pulling the old "I don't want sex anymore" line on you,but 3 in particular stand out to me......


1:She's cheating and has found someone else...
2:To her...what she's saying is legit and you're unintentionally making her feel like a slvt.....or
3:As Harkkam08 mentioned,her attraction for you has dropped off significantly.



If it's number 1,then just dump her. If she's cheating and has someone else,I'd just drop her and let her go,I wouldn't waste the effort in trying to win her back since she's obviously shown she can't be trusted.





I do not think it's number 2. I think she said the "you only want me for my body" thing as an excuse for either number 1 or number 3,but it is possible she could be telling you the truth because I've had a girlfriend tell me that before. An easy way to determine if she's telling the truth concerning number 2 is to simply schedule dates with her and see if she continues going out with you,or starts flaking like crazy with excuse after excuse.




If she starts flaking,and I mean repeatedly,her "I lost interest in sex" line is a lie,but if she kepts hanging out with you and spending time with you when you try to see her,chances are she's not cheating and it's just her attraction for you has gotten low.



It's hard to cheat on someone while spending a lot of time with them because her time would have to be divided up between you,the other guy,her family and friends,her job and/or school. She'd be pulled in too many different directions.




If it's number 3 and it's just her attraction is low,that's an easy fix.

This is ironic....there's a thread I usually refer guys to when they make a thread about their girlfriends losing interest in them,and the ironic part about it is that it's your own thread that you (dmatter) made OVER a year and a half ago.



You have a thread called Can Someone elaborate on responding to a woman's emotions? Go to reply #14 and check it out. If the problem is just her attraction,then that should clear that up.




Again,I do NOT BELIEVE her "lost interest in sex" line,I just think it's a cover for something else,but cover all the bases just to be sure.
 

teacha

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harkkam08 said:
Really dude? There wasnt a time you were going through shi*t in your life that you didnt feel like having sex? There were times I didnt in my life. Just so much sh*t on my mind pressure of work and making money and trying to get to the top of the corporate ladder.
if she's been going through a difficult moment, he'd know about it. They been dating for 16 freaking months and i doubt the OP couldn't tell if something is genuinely wrong with his girlfriend.

Did I ever say sex wasnt an important part of a relationship. I always tell woman I date you know I think sex is about 40% of a relationship let them know where Im coming from.

Women may want it as bad but maybe she is going through some sh*t at least he should take a second to find out.

So I guess he should just breakup with her then.
I can pretty much bet everything i own that its either 1 of these two reasons:
- she's cheating
- she's not in love with him anymore.

Her excuse for witholding sex is bull to say the least, cmon so you mean to tell me she just suddenly woke up one morning after 16 months and started thinking that this guy may just be using her for sexual purposes only?:kick:

This is basically one of the reasons you should always be dealing with multiple women when dating so you don't regress back towards being an AFC.

I dunno about the OP, but personally i have a 'FCUK IT' mentality when it comes to women and dating. There are certain things im willing to try and fix when in a relationship especially when i know im in the wrong but this aint one of them. OP i suggest you start behaving like a single guy and start looking for other women to get to know better just in case your relationship don't work out. If she does come around then its all good but if not, its all good too but whatever you do dont sit on your ass hoping for her to come around. Another important thing i would like to add is: keep cool and don't hound her for sex anymore, learn to control your sexual urges. See to a woman, her vagina is her greatest weapon and once you show her you don't care about that, she won't be able to manipulate you anymore by witholding sex.
 

bukowski_merit

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hmmm... i wasn't under the impression that this girl just suddenly lost interest in sex....

If it's true; that for 16 months everything was cool and then suddenly she stopped wanting to have sex... Then that changes everything a bit. In that case...

1) It's either very hardcore manipulation with a very defined reason behind it.
2) She's cheating.

HOWEVER, if she's slowly been losing interest in sex over an extended time period - - - If this started happening around the 8 month period and the sex has been getting less and less frequent each month - that's quite normal for the typical modern "male gets betaized fast" relationship (sadly).

That just means you're being the typical modern weak ("Everybody loves Raymond") man who gives the woman the power (or equality) and expects her continue to treat him as a king.

It would help if you came in this thread and gave a little more detail to clarify.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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DMATTER, are you living with this girl? If so, how long? How old is she / you?
 

backbreaker

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harkkam08 said:
Really dude? There wasnt a time you were going through shi*t in your life that you didnt feel like having sex? There were times I didnt in my life. Just so much sh*t on my mind pressure of work and making money and trying to get to the top of the corporate ladder.

Its also like people on this website dont know how to read between the lines.

Did I ever say sex wasnt an important part of a relationship. I always tell woman I date you know I think sex is about 40% of a relationship let them know where Im coming from.

Women may want it as bad but maybe she is going through some sh*t at least he should take a second to find out.

So I guess he should just breakup with her then.
the thing is, the've dated so long, he would know if something really was wrong in her life and it would ovbious. i got accused of raping a girl about 2 years ago that i never even touched, let alone kissed, let alone raped, becuase i would not take her advances. that **** shook me up to the core for a good 3 weeks to a month, just could not do anything. in that type of situation yeah, my GF was patient with me.

this is just random, i don't want to **** you anymore.

learn to call women on their BS. this is BS, it's not even a power move.

when a woman that you have dated for a year and a half, doesn't want to **** you anymore, that says, that she is willing to lose you. she is not willing to do on her part anymore what it takes to maintain a solid relationship. that in itself is grounds for dismissal.
 

backbreaker

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Rollo Tomassi said:
DMATTER, are you living with this girl? If so, how long? How old is she / you?
if he isn't living with her, 1/9 odds she's getting the **** fromsomeone else.
 

Atom Smasher

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teacha said:
-Never for one second believe the women don't want sex as much as men myth, that's an outright lie. They want it just as bad as we do, if not more.
Teacha, I do present this with all due respect, even though I am speaking very directly. This is another myth that you younger guys have been sold, and you believe it because it sounds good. The fact is that Bar Slvts want sex just as bad as we do, if not more. I do realize that many guys here are here in pursuit of these slvts.

However, a normal cross-section of the female population at large will reveal that their sex drive is not even close to a man's. The male is full of testosterone and aggression. Sex to him is an accomplishment, a score. Sex to a man is about achievement and the feeling of power and mastery. Sex to a woman (again, the general population) is about a "feeling" of closeness and being desired.

This is what I have observed in my life. It's easy to extrapolate the mindset and nature of girls who hang out in bars to that of the general population, but an complete breakdown occurs in the process. It can't be done. Bar slvts are worlds apart from "Ms. Average".

That's not to say that they don't think about sex and desire it; of course they do. I have come to believe that women have a much more abstract view and experience of sex than we do.
 

pipe007

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OP hasnt replied to this thread and given an update

maybe he already got his answer, or he lost his mind, and his mojo lol
 

bukowski_merit

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Rollo Tomassi said:
DMATTER, are you living with this girl? If so, how long? How old is she / you?
Doesn't look like he's going to read or respond to this, but in his jumbled mess of block lettering - i found this:

dmatter said:
eventually her family starts to enter the house and we cant have sex no more, I only see her twice a week
Would indicate to me that she's young (she lives with her parents)
And she's not living with him (only sees him twice a week)
 

backbreaker

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Atom Smasher said:
Teacha, I do present this with all due respect, even though I am speaking very directly. This is another myth that you younger guys have been sold, and you believe it because it sounds good. The fact is that Bar Slvts want sex just as bad as we do, if not more. I do realize that many guys here are here in pursuit of these slvts.

However, a normal cross-section of the female population at large will reveal that their sex drive is not even close to a man's. The male is full of testosterone and aggression. Sex to him is an accomplishment, a score. Sex to a man is about achievement and the feeling of power and mastery. Sex to a woman (again, the general population) is about a "feeling" of closeness and being desired.

This is what I have observed in my life. It's easy to extrapolate the mindset and nature of girls who hang out in bars to that of the general population, but an complete breakdown occurs in the process. It can't be done. Bar slvts are worlds apart from "Ms. Average".

That's not to say that they don't think about sex and desire it; of course they do. I have come to believe that women have a much more abstract view and experience of sex than we do.
this is spot on.

what i have come to find, is that, men want sex.

women, moreso use sex as a means to an end. even when a woman really likes you, she doesn't **** you becuase you are hot, she ****s you because she wants to show you that she approves of you and she likes you, not because you are sexy even if you might be

that's why this is a big concern to me. a normal woman, even if she isn't horny, has no problem ****ing her man, and gets enjoyment out of making her man happy.

men get off on sex, women get off on the results of what sex brings.
 

teacha

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Atom Smasher said:
Teacha, I do present this with all due respect, even though I am speaking very directly. This is another myth that you younger guys have been sold, and you believe it because it sounds good. The fact is that Bar Slvts want sex just as bad as we do, if not more. I do realize that many guys here are here in pursuit of these slvts.

However, a normal cross-section of the female population at large will reveal that their sex drive is not even close to a man's. The male is full of testosterone and aggression. Sex to him is an accomplishment, a score. Sex to a man is about achievement and the feeling of power and mastery. Sex to a woman (again, the general population) is about a "feeling" of closeness and being desired.

This is what I have observed in my life. It's easy to extrapolate the mindset and nature of girls who hang out in bars to that of the general population, but an complete breakdown occurs in the process. It can't be done. Bar slvts are worlds apart from "Ms. Average".

That's not to say that they don't think about sex and desire it; of course they do. I have come to believe that women have a much more abstract view and experience of sex than we do.
im gonna go with what life has taught me on this, so lets just agree to disagree.
 

bukowski_merit

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This is turning into an interesting discussion; even with the lack of presence of the OP.

My experience:

If a woman can have multi-orgasms (IF IF IF), and handle hours of sex - she will enjoy sex more than ANY man possibly can. Now, i think being a strong dominant male that the female WANTS to connect with in that way is very important.

From her mouth: "I don't get it, i've been with guys with bigger d!cks than you, i've been with guys who fvck as hard.... but i've NEVER came like that."

Why did she *** like that? Because im a dominant fvckers in and outside the bedroom. I've learned that how you treat them outside of bed effects how she gets off in bed (and how much she desires to get off in bed.) And im sure she's been with players and men who have been with many women before, but the difference is - they didn't know how to guide the soul and own the @ss.

To have a whip in hand and soon after a rose.

---

2 quotes on what i believe is going on here:

Carlos Xuma said:
A woman wants to be at the top of your priorities and she's jealous of any people or hobbies that you put above her. She will attempt to get you to put aside things in favor of her. The more you give in and become the mold she wants - the less she respects you.
And i'd add that the less she respects you - the less she will get horny for you.

How much can a woman respect a man who asks her for sex? Who lets her baby him and praises her for "hugging" him???? Just by the OPs tone - it seems he has became the mold she wanted out of him; which is not a mold she wants to have inside her.


Franco said:
As soon as she has made a man dependent on her she loses sexual interest and respect. This happens once a man stops being a challenge to her. She stops giving him sex more and more because she needs him to want it so that he sticks around with his support. If she gives it to him freely - he has no reason to do as she says anymore. If she stops completely - she risks him going elsewhere. So she rations her pu$$y to him.
A woman will give her pu$$y freely at first, but will slowly begin to use it as a bargaining chip as the relationships progresses (the typical relationship). She uses it to break the strength gap between man and woman. It's her metaphorical biceps. This is why when a woman sense she might be losing a man - she throws the only real power she has at him - her pvssy!

Something like this doesn't happen overnight though. And as i said earlier - it's important to know if this was a sudden change or a gradual thing.

"Maybe" the OP will return to address things eventually.

---

All speculation on all parts aside - if this woman is not cheating - she is HIGHLY susceptible to it! She would be easy prey for a man who likes "taken" women.
 
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nismo-4

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Harkaam08, you've got some learning to do.

Backbreaker, your posts are painfully accurate here and though the explanations are quite long, they're still a good read. I will file these under "Sex Truths" and while I still won't cheer for the Arkansas Razorbacks (I'm from Tiger Country LSU, Louisiana, two schools that hate each other!), you would've been awarded rep points! Bukowski Merit too if I would've spread some rep around, damn!

A woman's pu$$y is her currency. Remember that no pu$$y is golden. It's just AFC's that shop at the goddamn Pedestal Mart.
 

Thundernuts

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look man, there are a million different things you are gonna read, i think i will add to the fray in your head.

Men will tell women they love them for sex

Women will have sex for love( for the basic instinct of having children since humans have grown monogamous)

You aren't holding back from her emotionally, now of course i don't know everything about whats going but i think some guys on here nailed it, next time you guys are gonna get together tell her you are gonna go out with your friends instead since you haven't seen them in awhile, something. I mean honestly odds are you aren't gonna get some @ss anyways so it won't matter. A DJ is a man in touch with his sexuality, he cannot be denied his sex because he doesnt ask for it in the first place.

All i can say man is you need to lift up your skirt and find your balls again.
 

PokerStar

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ive been quaoted and sigged.

*cries single tear*
 

backbreaker

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nismo-4 said:
Harkaam08, you've got some learning to do.

Backbreaker, your posts are painfully accurate here and though the explanations are quite long, they're still a good read. I will file these under "Sex Truths" and while I still won't cheer for the Arkansas Razorbacks (I'm from Tiger Country LSU, Louisiana, two schools that hate each other!), you would've been awarded rep points! Bukowski Merit too if I would've spread some rep around, damn!

A woman's pu$$y is her currency. Remember that no pu$$y is golden. It's just AFC's that shop at the goddamn Pedestal Mart.
good luck saturday. take care of business. i want you guys undefeated when we curb stump you the day after thanksgiving
 

nismo-4

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backbreaker said:
good luck saturday. take care of business. i want you guys undefeated when we curb stump you the day after thanksgiving
I don't know if I'm betting on this game, in 2007 ya'll beat us in the third overtime and I lost 200 bucks on that sh*t! This year, the game's in Little Rock, but I know it's gonna be a good ass game! If you want the golden boot, you're gonna have to fight for it!
 
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