Girlfriend joking about how I suck in bed

[SamMalone]

Is this acceptable? She's still doing me, so I guess it shouldn't be a big deal, but I don't know if these are just jokes or what. And no I am not secure in that area.

 

[S. Pryor]

Sounds like one of those situations where it sounds like the person is joking but there's truth to the statement. Talk to her about what she likes. Communication Communication Communication. It also wouldn't help to read some books and/or check out some videos on new techniques.

 

[mustfirstregister]

You must have a tiny one.

 

[jophil28]

Is this acceptable? She's still doing me, so I guess it shouldn't be a big deal, but I don't know if these are just jokes or what. And no I am not secure in that area.

I would say." Honey, Im glad you rasied this issue. However I think that we still have enough for a good friendship without sex. Would you be OK if i had other sexual partners?"

Man, what she said is extremely disespectful. How do you think that she would take it if you told her that she was a dud in the sack ?

 

[horaholic]

It depends on how you are in the sack. Me and my ex had AMAZING sex, and sometimes she would jokingly say I suck, or that I have a small cok, but we both know damn well that it aint true, so I've never wasted a second worrying about it.

Do you make her cvm 2-3 times per session on average? If so, your great in bed. As long as its at least once, you're doing ok. For your own benefit, I would pry into her to see what you can be doing better, if there is any truth to it. One of the best skills a man can learn is how to be the best lay his girls ever been, or at least close to it. Its easy, just pay attention, and try differnt things. Even just thrusting at a slightly different angle can make a woman gush if done properly.

BTW, if a woman ever does that, you should immediately rip her clothes off and fvck her as hard and violently as possible.... in the ass if possible

 

[Bible_Belt]

Do you make her cvm 2-3 times per session on average?


I bet not.

To the OP, don't worry, a lot of women have their own issues that make it very hard for them to have an orgasm. That's the other half of her joke; she is not so great in bed herself. She has the same insecurities as you. Both of you have to work through those together if you want to have good sex. Understand, though, that as the guy you should not bear all the blame for sex being bad. It takes some talent on her part as well.

 

[Taste]

Is this acceptable? She's still doing me, so I guess it shouldn't be a big deal, but I don't know if these are just jokes or what. And no I am not secure in that area.

It depends man. In what context is she saying this? If she is doing this to tease you, she might just be actually teasing you. In that case, just tease her back. If you feel that she's saying it to be spiteful or because she actually believes that, you need to have the boundary talk. In any case, it should be her you should be telling this too not us. Be honest to her about how you think it's not cool that she does that.

If it's just playful teasing, tease her about her weight

 

[Trader]

In the end - it's always about her.

Even during the pleasurable act of sex - the man must *serve* the girl, and the girl always expects to be *served.*

Sex is so overrated.

 

[horaholic]

In the end - it's always about her.

Even during the pleasurable act of sex - the man must *serve* the girl, and the girl always expects to be *served.*

Sex is so overrated.

I'm sorry. Obviously you've never had good sex

You should both enjoy serving each other. If not, you're either doing it wrong, or you're with the wrong partner.

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

Is this acceptable? She's still doing me, so I guess it shouldn't be a big deal, but I don't know if these are just jokes or what. And no I am not secure in that area.

There are lots of reasons women do this and it's quite common since it's usually an extremely weak spot in men. She can have multiple reasons wrapped all in one. It doesn't really matter.

There isn't really any way to get around this besides thinking about something some previous girl did that was better and then chuckling to yourself. This'll set off her radar because women are sensitive to your interior state. In bed, their radar is twice as powerful and it'll bother her a lot. Absolutely do not tell her what you are thinking or laughing about and do not talk about other girls in bed. That will be a war you will not win.

She'll be very uncomfortable with your amusement as well as your "million miles away" look and since she cannot drag an answer out of you about it she'll stop because she knows something is turning the tables around on her but can't do anything about it except stop provoking it.

NOTE: Women WILL do this when a guy completely blows her away with sex compared to what she has previously had. She's trying to act cool about it. So, don't try to pin it down and act insecure. If it's a real issue she'll find another way to tell you.

 

[GameTime76]

You could spice things up a little bit the next time you guys have sex then, see what she has to say after. Or the next time she "jokes" about your performance. Ask her.. Then what would you like me to do.

Finally, if she is not meeting your needs.. Just break up with her and find a new girl.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Say, "We'll see if yo butt feels the same way lil white girl!"

 

[Proselytiser]

Point her to some Roissy post about how men will perform relative to how attractive their partner is... he has at least one.

 

[Tazman]

You care too much and she knows it gets to you. My thing has always been that I'm going to enjoy myself when I have sex, if the girl I'm with makes no effort to enjoy herself and tries to hold me responsible, it isn't my problem.

A lot of guys don't realize the position they put themselves in when they try so hard to please women in bed, not aware of the fact that women don't stop **** testing even when having sex. It's probably one of the greatest power plays women have, the expectation that you as the man should be getting her off simply because she has a p-ssy.

I'm not a selfish person when it comes to sex, and I do make some effort to pick up on cues when something feels good, but make no mistake, I'm not putting pressure on myself to perform for women like I'm beneath them.

From what I've experienced, women who like being with you will actual try to enjoy themselves when having sex with you, not just lay there and expect you to get them off.

Don't let her think her comments are getting to you, in fact you could turn it around on her by describing other girls who you had a good time with and how she doesn't measure up (jokingly of course, just as she does it). Above all, never apologize for your performance.

 

[Accension]

I've the perfect solution, for this has happened to me.

Next time you're having sexy time -- go as hard and fast as you can and keep saying "Do I suck huh? Do I suck in bed?"
My girlfriend LOVED this.

Look at the replies in this thread.
Do you guys take everything seriously?
Never take a girl seriously.

One last thing -- Tazman touched on this so props to him -- sex shouldn't just be bumpity-bump, talk during sex, joke around, lick her nipples and inquire as to when she'll stop withholding that delicious milk all for her selfish self.
I'm not trolling you.

Girls love having sex with me because it's fun.
Quite often I pretend I'm a porn star and she plays along, moaning outrageously.
Stuff like that is what makes for amazing sex, I promise.

 

[PlaysToWin]

Maybe you suck at sex (or some part of sex) but she likes you and would like to continue having sex with you so she tried to come up with a way that gets the message across without hurting your feelings too much? If this is the case, I wouldn't speak too harshly on the girl, I mean what else is she meant to do? Accept the status quo? Just stop having ex with the OP? There is no perfect way to handle situations like this and the foul smelling blojob issue in the other thread.

Lots of good suggestions already for how to react. Basically tease her back and don't get upset.