"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Girlfriend Issue - Infatuation Dying Down in LTR

Axcell

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 12, 2007
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Hey guys, going to make this as short as possible!
Been going out with a girl for a few months, things seemed to have been going good till about a week ago. Infatuation seems to be dying down between us, which I know marks the "Mature" stage in a relationship. There isn't too much in this forum about those in LTR's and how to KEEP a girl.

In short, our conversations are starting to die down, not too much to talk about anymore.

I have completely no problem in getting a girl, but keeping that chemistry alive seems to be a tough one.

One more thing:
NOW, there is also this minor problem which I want to address in the same topic (not going to bother making another topic for this.) But what do you do when your girlfriend acts differently in public than in private? Been going out with this girl who in private, acts very "lovey dovey" and very attached to me. In private she is very outgoing, etc. However, in public, and when around her friends, she doesn't do ANYTHING.

I know some girls dont want to appear as a sl*t in front of their friends, so they obviously wouldn't make out with their boyfriend in front of them. But my girl doesn't go so much as to give simple hugs, etc. Any idea how to handle this?

I should note. I have talked to her already about this, and her response was: "That's just the way I am."

Any advice would be great!
Axcell.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

dopexile

Don Juan
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Apr 10, 2006
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St. Louis, MO
Since when is a few months a LTR? Sounds more like a fling to me.

If you want to keep chemistry you need to be interesting and not predictable.

Do you act the same way around all of your family, friends, and coworkers? Do you act the same when you meet new people? Of course not, we have social masks that we use to adapt to situations. Public affection also can have huge cultural contexts.
 

mintxx

Senior Don Juan
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May 8, 2007
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'Been going out with a girl for a few months, things seemed to have been going good till about a week ago. Infatuation seems to be dying down between us, which I know marks the "Mature" stage in a relationship.'

if you think 3 months is the 'mature' stage you are clearly dating a cardboard cutout. how the hell can you know someone after 3 months? are you both trapped in the same shipping container? see her once a week and spend your time doing things that you won't regret speding time on when you're facing your own death. then you might have more to talk about and do together.

'In short, our conversations are starting to die down, not too much to talk about anymore.'

this is a fairly common problem because most people don't actually do anything apart from buy things and watch tv. drop her and spend some time adding things to your life that give you and others something to talk about.
 

mintxx

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
446
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'Been going out with a girl for a few months, things seemed to have been going good till about a week ago. Infatuation seems to be dying down between us, which I know marks the "Mature" stage in a relationship.'

if you think 3 months is the 'mature' stage you are clearly dating a cardboard cutout. how the hell can you know someone after 3 months? are you both trapped in the same shipping container? see her once a week and spend your time doing things that you won't regret speding time on when you're facing your own death. then you might have more to talk about and do together.

'In short, our conversations are starting to die down, not too much to talk about anymore.'

this is a fairly common problem because most people don't actually do anything apart from buy things and watch tv. drop her and spend some time adding things to your life that give you and others something to talk about.
 

mintxx

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
446
Reaction score
9
'Been going out with a girl for a few months, things seemed to have been going good till about a week ago. Infatuation seems to be dying down between us, which I know marks the "Mature" stage in a relationship.'

if you think 3 months is the 'mature' stage you are clearly dating a cardboard cutout. how the hell can you know someone after 3 months? are you both trapped in the same shipping container? see her once a week and spend your time doing things that you won't regret speding time on when you're facing your own death. then you might have more to talk about and do together.

'In short, our conversations are starting to die down, not too much to talk about anymore.'

this is a fairly common problem because most people don't actually do anything apart from buy things and watch tv. drop her and spend some time adding things to your life that give you and others something to talk about.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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