"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Girlfriend is gaining weight and she thinks I called her fat

Dhoulmagus

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She is the definition of spoiled daddy's princess. Her dad is wk op and her brothers are mentally unstable(weird af) while she's the only normal one. The correlation is apparent in this family lol. Anyways, she eats like **** and rarely works out. She also has gained some weight since we started dating.

She told me she ate nothing but pizza for lunch and dinner today and I lost it and told her that she's going to get fat af eventually. She said it is hard to eat healthy when food is free and I told her to learn how to cook and it will be easier. She told me that her dad is the only cook in the house and that is the men's job to be the cook. I responded that she should be a comedian with those comments and to take home etiquette 101 as a college course. I told her that unless she makes the most money in the household than no husband is going to want some fat ass wife that can't even cook Top Ramen. In addition, I told her that her kids will be obese too because she will feed them mcdonalds every day. She responded by calling me an a$$hole and changing the convo.

Last, she told me good night and told me she was going on a diet because I called her fat. I told her that I never called her fat, but she will have to quit eating like **** every day. If she gets fatter than I'm dumping her. Idk how I'm going to find a new girl, but I would rather jerk off than have a fat gf as spoiled as her.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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#firstworldproblems
#feminists
#nazis
#feminazis
/r/fatpeoplehate
/r/coontown
/r/offmychest
/endrant
 

skinnyguy

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I think you need a therapist, Sosuave isn't enough

Please tell me you're moving to San Diego or Florida. Your life seems so boring in that redneck bible town
 

Yewki

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Good job telling it to her straight OP. If she eats garbage and is unhealthy, then she doesn't respect herself.

How can you respect someone who doesn't even respect herself?

Dhoulmagus said:
If she gets fatter than I'm dumping her. I'm going to find a new girl, but I would rather jerk off than have a fat gf as spoiled as her.
I salute you. Having an abundance mentality without actually having other options is commendable. Most guys would be too afraid to set her straight out of fear of "losing her" (gasp!)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Dhoulmagus

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Bible_Belt said:
This is how relationships end. Familiarity breeds contempt. She's probably on Tinder right now.
Lol I'm on tinder
 

JohnyTheArrow

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So your chick is getting fat and you have ZERO power over her ? You are her bytch as she clearly doesnt listen to you, you should do some action and leave her and not come here with some drama like we would be your girlfriends.
 

Dhoulmagus

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JohnyTheArrow said:
So your chick is getting fat and you have ZERO power over her ? You are her bytch as she clearly doesnt listen to you, you should do some action and leave her and not come here with some drama like we would be your girlfriends.
Ya, so I shoukd hold a gun to her head and threaten her if she doesn't lose weight immediately.
 

JohnyTheArrow

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Dhoulmagus said:
Ya, so I shoukd hold a gun to her head and threaten her if she doesn't lose weight immediately.
Words are enough and if not you are in position ...

"Im so special you eat that shyt or get lost boy"

You have low value for her.
 

YawataNoKami

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She has the right to be fat and the responsibility to bear all the consequences that come with it.You have the right to be happy and the responsibility to find someone who will not hinder your happiness and hopefully contribute positively to it.

She is responsible for her own choices and you have made it clear your relationship was suffering. You deserve to be attracted to your girlfriend and enjoy spending time with her. I would tell her one more time that she either needs to start leading a healthier lifestyle or you cannot stay with her.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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