Girlfriend Is Behaving Distant?

[soulforge]

I don't think being paranoid about behavior is the answer. Way too easy to write those signs off as typical end of honeymoon stage stuff at first. By the time you get enough information to be actionable it's actually over anyway. Just try to avoid the structural problems like the long distance, your own complacency in sex, and abusive baby daddy in the future.

I would recommend that you block her from your phone so that you are not tempted to communicate back. It’s one thing to ignore texts when it’s someone you weren’t invested in. It’s another animal entirely when you were invested, banging other women or banging weights at the gym or not.

If (when) she reaches out, it will be difficult for you to remain ghost.

I dated one similar to your situation just before finding this site through Rollo’s book. I have changed drastically since her. She still reaches out from time to time and it’s still very hard to stay quiet. She is blocked and deleted from my phone but she comes through on FB messenger. She even uses voice messaging and I love her voice.

I would recommend blocking her so you don’t get tempted. She will reach out again and it won’t be easy.

Also, you didn’t waste time with her. You had fun. You had sex. You had a relationship and experience. It wasn’t a waste.

Block her for yourself and delete the contact so you cannot find her. Another man is fvcking her and she ended it via text. Do this for yourself and you’ll be better off. You also cannot be distracted by her reaching out later if she cannot reach out later.

I like this.. I'm kinda feeling like ending was the best thing. I doubt she will contact me again.. However if she does.. I'll just block her.

She has a few of her items over here.. But I can't be fuked with sending them back.. They are going in the bin

 

[soulforge]

Don't you guys think, blocking her on Whatsapp, may come across to her as me being seriously butt hurt?

I mean I actually agree with the breakup.. I was a dumb ass for investing in a woman I cannot be with for years..

So why not just let her text me if she dicedes to, and I just ignore her.

I don't have on any other social media at all.. I don't use Facebook or Instagram etc etc.

 

[FMCSMT]

They have a way of luring you back in. I only say block now to protect yourself. It does work wonders.

If she wants her things back, she will eventually show up and request them face to face.

At that time, I would recommend an attitude of indifference to everything she says or does and slide her the bin.

It doesn’t come off as butt hurt. It comes off as her ego being squashed and that is what I recommend.

I’ll see if I have some pics still saved from the last one I did this too and post them to this thread. You can see she is not happy with the new guy and how she reacted to me ghosting

 

[soulforge]

They have a way of luring you back in. I only say block now to protect yourself. It does work wonders.

If she wants her things back, she will eventually show up and request them face to face.

At that time, I would recommend an attitude of indifference to everything she says or does and slide her the bin.

It doesn’t come off as butt hurt. It comes off as her ego being squashed and that is what I recommend.

I’ll see if I have some pics still saved from the last one I did this too and post them to this thread. You can see she is not happy with the new guy and how she reacted to me ghosting

Haha well she left a few things here.

01. Rabbit carrier cage.. She has a pet bunny, and she left its cage here, as she used to bring it over very occasionally.. There is some chance she might want it back!

02.Her rampant rabbit Vibrator haha.. I'm pretty certain she won't come back just for that.

03.Her coat and just a few items of clothing.

To be fair.. It will probably cost her around £15.00 in fuel to come over and pick that cage up.. She could probably buy a new one for about £40.00

Chances are she won't bother

 

[FMCSMT]

She was a decent girl. Good job and lives close. Dead fish in bed and she sent nudes one night and didn’t come over so I ghosted her.

I have to admit, my tolerance with women’s behavior has really taken a dive..

 

[soulforge]

She was a decent girl. Good job and lives close. Dead fish in bed and she sent nudes one night and didn’t come over so I ghosted her.

I have to admit, my tolerance with women’s behavior has really taken a dive..

Lol WTF

I did block my last ex, and agreed it certainly did make things easier.

 

[Robert28]

I don't do the whole blocking thing, I am confident enough in myself that I can ignore them if they reach out to me if I want to.

 

[soulforge]

I don't do the whole blocking thing, I am confident enough in myself that I can ignore them if they reach out to me if I want to.

My last ex was a toxic bvtch... I immediately blocked her azz... This one i'm not to fussed about blocking, think I can handle just ignoring her..

However if it does become a problem, then I won't hesitate to block her too.

 

[Ranger]

oh they have invented an entire philosophy around why it's totally normal to have like 20 relationships in 20 years lol


When a woman tells me "I left my BF because he was balding" I am not thinking she is trying to make herself look good lol. Take THAT superficial statement for what its worth, it reflects poorly on her but she doesn't even care.

Yes, when a woman gets bored all the flaws become magnified.

The guys my women date are all high status good looking alpha men ok. These guys are not crumbling under the pressure of their GFs, proven by how fast they move on afterwards(I see the GFs panic). I well understand how women think but its irrelevant and pointless to think its within your control or somehow valid or rational. It is not. These guys held frame just fine by any rational standard or even by the female standards of the past.

Nope. Having a girlfriend changes his chemistry all by itself. Maybe 1% can hold a masculine frame in a relationship. He’s considered a savage by many. He holds an iron grip on his life.

He will dump a woman so fast it will blow her skirt up.

 

[sazc]

IMO blocking/unfriending/un matching shows that you are butthurt and should only be done if the other person is toxic.

One my last boyfriend realized I wasnt coming back, he immediately unfriended me on social media (because he was butthurt)

Wouldn't it have been better for him to stay connected and let his happy life be the 'revenge' for me deciding I was done?

 

[soulforge]

IMO blocking/unfriending/un matching shows that you are butthurt and should only be done if the other person is toxic.

One my last boyfriend realized I wasnt coming back, he immediately unfriended me on social media (because he was butthurt)

Wouldn't it have been better for him to stay connected and let his happy life be the 'revenge' for me deciding I was done?

I agree zacs.. If she was Toxic I would block in a heart beat..

If she is throwing lots of bread crumbs your way, to the point where it is causing you further distress, or slowing down your recovery.. then maybe block is the way forward.

Other than that I would just leave and ignore the chit out of that person.

 

[soulforge]

even women you probably wouldn't consider to be toxic can get extremely manipulative and vindictive if they think you've moved on happily.

This is true.. At this point I would block them for good.

 

[soulforge]

Do it now, avoid the entire mess. Zero reason not to.

I don't think it would make any difference.. If I block her on Whatsapp.. She can easily send me a normal text message instead.. Which I cannot block

 

[lamath]

Indiffrence is the way to go, dont block unless you cant control yourself.

I will not block, because i know i would not take the time to read her msg eithjer



Its all about how much self control you have, lots of ppl seems tom be lacking it here however.


She will contact you again mark my word.
imo her contacting you again is a sign of a weak character and selfish person.

 

[soulforge]

Indiffrence is the way to go, dont block unless you cant control yourself.

I will not block, because i know i would not take the time to read her msg eithjer



Its all about how much self control you have, lots of ppl seems tom be lacking it here however.


She will contact you again mark my word.
imo her contacting you again is a sign of a weak character and selfish person.

Here is what I have done in the past..

If an ex has messaged me about some chit after a breakup.. I simply don't even read the message, and just move it unread to a saved folder.

I got back to the folder some months down the line and have a little laugh about it.

I am considering blocking her, but be honest my frame of mind is almost of relief right now.

I feel the breakup was actually necessary, as I was investing in something that was pretty much GUARANTEED to fail.

This could have happened even another 2 years down the line.

This is probably why, I feel like I could handle chit, even if she did message.

 

[SoSuave666]

Blocking someone is not about how they will perceive the action. It's about removing yourself and recovery. Who gives a **** what she thinks.

 

[soulforge]

Rather than blocking or ignoring them.. Isn't it better, just to simply agree with the breakup.

I actually feel somewhat glad it is over and saved 4-5 further years of my life being wasted on a relationship that was doomed to fail at some point anyway.

Wouldn't a simple.. Yes I agree, I wasn't feeling it anymore either, and I don't think this relationship long term is right for me. Good luck

That would then become a Mutual break up.. Which could more than likely pizz her off more lol.

But I see the merit in ghosting too.. Don't even acknowledge them, simply move on.

They made a decision, now let them deal with the outcome.

 

[SoSuave666]

Rather than blocking or ignoring them.. Isn't it better, just to simply agree with the breakup.

I actually feel somewhat glad it is over and saved 4-5 further years of my life being wasted on a relationship that was doomed to fail at some point anyway.

Wouldn't a simple.. Yes I agree, I wasn't feeling it anymore either, and I don't think this relationship long term is right for me. Good luck

That would then become a Mutual break up.. Which could more than likely pizz her off more lol.

But I see the merit in ghosting too.. Don't even acknowledge them, simply move on.

They made a decision, now let them deal with the outcome.

You keep asking the same question over and over again. You are looking for an emotional reaction out of her. just move on. Blocking her is up to you. If you write her you are simply looking to get a reaction out of her for a temporary boost of your ego.

Let. It. Go.

 

[Ranger]

Girls like to block because because it causes a reaction in a man. Like they feel like they smashed the guy and it works. Especially if the guy is into them.

Indifference works best for a man. When she gets the impression that she doesn’t matter, it drives in deep. Even if she doesn’t want you.

Indifference = dismiss

To be nothing or feel like nothing is a very harsh feeling. Male or female.
I would not advise that this be your goal for the most part. But there are times when you must.

Feeling anger towards her is far from indifference. It’s just the opposite. She knows that there’s a fine line between love and hate. They are the same thing. Indifference/ dismissal should feel about like eating a sandwich. Nothing.
If you are feeling something other than that, you have some things to work on.

 

[Glassguy]

Damn! Just got the text message off her now..

Really sorry to say its not working out.. not been feeling it for a while. Sorry!

AKA- I met someone else who is local and it seems to be going ok with him, so I am not doing this LDR with you anymore.

@soulforge Sorry I am late to the party. I've had a super busy weekend. These situations suck the life right out of you. Been there, done that.

First and foremost, we both know what you have to do- Ghost her @ss.

2 years and she sends you a lousy text? It just goes to show that women can be super cold. Thats ok, there are plenty more to be had.

You give some really good advice on here in your posts to other members. My recommendation is to follow what you would recommend to someone else in your position, which would be to eject and IGNORE. Fvck her and her feelings because she didnt care about yours when she sent you a lousy text. You need to do whats best for you and right now that means ghost her.

She WILL send you the mixed messages in the coming weeks. Dont break frame and fall for it because we both know what those CRUMBS lead to.......her being cold again and it feels like you broke up for the second time.

She is going to say "Are you ok?". "Just checking to see if you're doing alright. I miss you". Blah blah blah. She is only sending them to see if you are still on the hook. ANY response means that you're still on the hook.

Instead I prefer to totally mindfvck these women who do this shyte and let them wonder if I am even getting their messages. Let her wonder how YOU moved on so quickly. Let her hamster run crazy as you walk away.

Instead do your thing. Hit the gym. Get your feet planted in building a new rotation. Live life. There are better women out there.

Its too late now, but I would have sent her a response to the break up text. My response would have been "Yeah I feel the same. The sex has really sucked the last few months and I need something new and exciting in my life too. Take care". I would have ghosted from there. Mind fvck, light the fire and walk away as it burns.

So if she reaches out for validation or because the new guy isnt what she thought, you just remember that your 2 years with her was as meaningful as a lousy text to end it on her end.

Always here if you need any help bro. Go find some new @ss.