"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Girlfriend flaked

guitaronfire411

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I told my girl to phone me over text last night and she came up with an excuse (needed to go to the bathroom), she counter-offered to phone me back later once she gets home.

I keep myself busy for 30 minutes and no phone call. Yes, this is a bad position to be in. Then I see her on Facebook later posting videos, having never phoned me or even texted me after I had time to do almost a full workout.

Should I be concerned about this phone flake or let it pass with a mental note?

This is my second serious girlfriend so I have less experience than knowledge. ;)
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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sebastian11

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she's taking you for granted, dont mention it to her but definitely start showing her less attention.
 

slaog

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you want to lay down the law but don't want to make it seem like a big deal to you.


Yeah, what I'd do is say nothing but make a mental note of it. If she keeps up this sort of behaviour then its time to let her know you expect better from her. Be firm but don't be angry saying it. Always stay in control of your emotions.
 

AlexTheGreat

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The above are sound advice. On a sidenote, don't contact her until she does.

Again though, keep this moment in mind, and if it ever happens again, let her know you're not going to tolerate such disrespect.
 

AMDG

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guitaronfire411 said:
this is a bad position to be in.
Not at all, that's an excellent reason to dump her and find one who actually respects you. Congratulations :)
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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The Comeback Kid

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guitaronfire411 said:
she came up with an excuse (needed to go to the bathroom)
That's an excuse? Sounds like bulls*it to me. Very dumb move on her part.

What would I do? I don't tolerate flakes very well, mainly when they give stupid reasons like going to the bathroom. Because you two are dating (for how long btw?), I'd let this one instance go, but if she flakes again, it's time to talk. As the above posters said, be firm, don't show anger.

If she keeps playing games, end it with her. She's not worth your time.
 
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