Girlfriend cut her hair too short, how do I tell her?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

In all fairness she told me she wanted to get a haircut and she was excited to show it to me. I should have expected as much, it's just in her personality to do something wild like this.

Oh you're kidding, she actually told you??!!!...

 

[iqqi]

Doc, just focus on the good parts. Like a poster already said, her neck should be exposed now... sexy...!

I am sure she will pick up on the fact that you liked her hair long better. Who knows, this may grow on you!

 

[DoctorLW]

Oh you're kidding, she actually told you??!!!...

She told me she was getting her cut because she was bored of her old haircut. There were no details as to what, exactly, the new haircut would be. When she told me I don't think she was quite sure what she was getting herself. Believe me, if I knew it was going to be this short I would have voiced protest before the fact.

 

[DoctorLW]

Doc, just focus on the good parts. Like a poster already said, her neck should be exposed now... sexy...!

I am sure she will pick up on the fact that you liked her hair long better. Who knows, this may grow on you!

I can only hope!

 

[Obsidian]

Be careful. I had a female friend from high school who cut her hair really short. And then she turned into a lesbian.

Btw, I think Stephane's advice is nice and simple.

 

[DoctorLW]

Be careful. I had a female friend from high school who cut her hair really short. And then she turned into a lesbian.

Btw, I think Stephane's advice is nice and simple.

If my girlfriend turns into a lesbian the hair is the least of my worries. :crackup:

 

[The Deacon]

whoaaaaaa... I'm sorry Doc, I'm not touching this with a 40 foot pole. You'll be lucky if you tell her it's bothering you and she only throws a combat knife at you. Here's what's going to happen if you tell her that you don't like it (it doesn't matter how much you sugar-coat it):

"You don't like it? Why not? You're not attracted to me anymore are you? You're so insensitive!"

On the other hand, she's gonna keep cutting it if you don't tell her anything. Girls get addicted to that feeling when they know they don't have to spend an hour drying their hair after they get out of a shower.

If I was you, I'd tell her the truth, and if she calls you a jerk, get rid of her. Hair is REALLY important to me... it doesn't have to be long... it just has to be right, or I'll suffer from uhh, erectile dysfunction problems...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Believe me, if I knew it was going to be this short I would have voiced protest before the fact.

So why didn't you just tell her that? I don't think she would have gotten mad, she may have seen it as kinda possessively sexy. Speaking of which, just be happy for her that she'll have an easier time with washing any rouge bodily fluid which may get into her hair.

 

[SunnyD]

It is a tough one, but quite honestly...I really appreciated an ex bf's honest opinions on things like that.

I wouldn't flat-out say "no, I don't like it" obviously. You don't even have to say you like it better long. When she asks you if you like it say very casually "you pull it off both ways. Short looks cute, long was sexy." Complimenting either way, but speaking personally..most women prefer to be "sexy", yet you're still letting her know she looks "cute." Cute is sort of an insult to a woman without being an insult, know what I mean?? Haha. She'll then decide to grow it out so she can be SEXY for you.

Just my opinion.

 

[Sun Tzu]

So just to be clear, you typically "lay down the law" with someone you respect. And you feel a haircut is a drastic change with merits this "law."

I always establish myself as the dominant partner and when I love and respect a woman, yes, I lay down the law. This is exactly what a real woman craves and exactly what many guys on this forum are afraid to do. It results in garnering respect from her, but this is non-intuitive and paradoxical to you and your friends and therefore impossible for you to comprehend. This is the reason so many of you cower in fear under the guise of "showing respect". You are simply afraid.

Try clearly establishing who wears the pants in the relationship (early on) and watch her love and respect for you skyrocket. Another paradox that you are not yet able to understand is that after I establish dominance, all women that I see remark continually that I am the most respectful man they have ever met, bar none.

And yes, drastic change in appearance merits discussion to determine how the other person feels about this change. It's only right. I would absolutely consult with my woman if I were thinking of making a drastic change. She deserves that consideration.

 

[BoredDude]

Write your complaints on the mirrors

 

[Sun Tzu]

She told me she was getting her cut because she was bored of her old haircut. There were no details as to what, exactly, the new haircut would be. When she told me I don't think she was quite sure what she was getting herself. Believe me, if I knew it was going to be this short I would have voiced protest before the fact.

So it sounds like a miscommunication for the most part. Now that you mentioned that she told you beforehand it's a little more clear why you find it to be a delicate situation.

I would consider, however, that women should be held accountable for their behavior (rare in today's society), and this includes throwing hissy fits because a man expresses his preference. This has got to change in our society and this change has got to start with us.

Given the miscommunication, I would wait till it grows back and then say how much more you like her hair long. She will feel attractive while in the moment and most likely will not feel insecure.

 

[The Kidd]

man just talk about fashion or in the middle of conversation just look at her and in a nice tone say "babe i think you look sexier with longer hair"

i always tell my gf when i dont like something and she tells me the same. its really not a big deal. u're not calling her ugly, u are simply telling her that you prefer her with longer hair. whether or not she changes it is up to her

 

[Rhoto]

Ask her if she likes it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...And yes, drastic change in appearance merits discussion to determine how the other person feels about this change. It's only right. I would absolutely consult with my woman if I were thinking of making a drastic change. She deserves that consideration.

You make a haircut sound like its some type of cosmetic surgery. Personally I'd think there would be more important areas to thump ones chest of masculinity toward.

 

[Desdinova]

Buy her a wig for Valentine's day.

 

[drak_ool]

don't tell her, just next her!

 

[Answers]

There's differing viewpoints here. Some don't mind what their womans hair looks like some do. The OP does so he should say it instead of being AFC and putting up with it.

Try clearly establishing who wears the pants in the relationship (early on) and watch her love and respect for you skyrocket. Another paradox that you are not yet able to understand is that after I establish dominance, all women that I see remark continually that I am the most respectful man they have ever met, bar none.

Thats true! When they know they'll be treated well as long as they don't break any of the rules set out early in a relationship they'll respect the man more for being strong and being willing to walk away!

 

[Eaglecreek]

There should have been an understanding between you two from the beginning that any major change in personal appearance will necessarily affect the other person, therefore it should be discussed beforehand. The fact that she went ahead and cut it without discussing it with you speaks volumes.

So does the fact that you are afraid of her. A relationship should never be based upon the fear of expressing your honest opinion about something like this.

Did you notice the response a few posts up from one of the women on this forum? She starts with "Why bother?" Because it's important to you...That's why!

Then she indicates that she perceives expressing your dislike for the new haircut as "insulting her" (and, it will damage her psyche so severely that she will never forgive you).

Give me a break! What kind of world do we live in where a man has to be afraid to express his preference for his woman's appearance?

Be honest. Tell her how you truly feel. You can then lay down the law that drastic changes in appearance should be discussed as a matter of respect for each other.

I must say I agree, and even worse, should she be pissed of about your opinion, its rather insulting to you. She just in for control. Ofcourse make sure you say it in a good way or a subtle way, no need to hurt anybodies feelings eather. Like that complementing the neck thing, that was good

Doc, just focus on the good parts. Like a poster already said, her neck should be exposed now... sexy...!

I am sure she will pick up on the fact that you liked her hair long better. Who knows, this may grow on you!

Letting things grow on you... Jeez what are you saying! Focus on the good things is all good and well. But sorry, if you like your girl her looks and she changes it, WHY the hell would you be silent about that, her old haircut was better and that has already grown on you. Saying nothing or doing nothing just shows who's in control and shows alot of cowardness when she does (and she will anyway) find out that he didn't like it. And who wants the coward as a boyfriend, he doesn't even dare to say things on his mind to her, what will happen if something serieus happens? Run to bed and she'll read him a bedtime story?

Don't let it grow on you, grow up yourself and grow some balls if your this big a coward (No offence to the the person who made this thread but if you listen to that advice, or if you agree to it, then thats how I see you)

 

[Sun Tzu]

You make a haircut sound like its some type of cosmetic surgery. Personally I'd think there would be more important areas to thump ones chest of masculinity toward.

It was important enough for the OP to be concerned about, and for many guys to weigh in on.