Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Girlfriend cheated: Emotionally I am done with her but should I stay just for the sex

silenthill

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2005
Messages
124
Reaction score
1
Ok this is pretty long, but I would appreciate if you guys read through the whole thing. Basically I've been going out with this girl for a year and a half. She is my first real girlfriend, first person I've banged, etc. I saw warning signs from the beginning when she told me about her past. She has had 4 boyfriends and has cheated on every single one of them. She was with this one guy for 3 years and cheated on him about 10 times. Her excuse was that he was a drug addict who didn't even give a sh*t. So right from the get go I had my reservations but I continued to date her because I need experience. I don't regret it one bit. I feel soooo much more confident around women.
I must of had sex with her over 300 times so I feel good in that department. I was able to get her off like you wouldn't believe. Flash forward to June of this year. Friday night she tells me she is going out with some friends from work. I say ok that's cool. Monday night she confesses. Instead of going out with people from work, she went out on a date with a 20 year old lesbian paramedic. I was very angry. Considered breaking up with her right there. She swears she will never do it again. 2 days later she confesses that the text she sent the other night that I asked her about, wasn't to a friend; it was to the girl. And to top it all off in nice fashion, she was going to her apartment that night to watch a movie. Again I was ticked off like you wouldn't believe. She was trying to reassure me that nothing would happen. She got me to believe her. Big mistake.

Last week she confesses that she actually kissed that girl. And she met up with her one more time about a month ago. I asked her what else she has been keeping from me. She says that she called an ex for an interview for a school project. But hasn't talked to him in weeks. She also was at some guys house she knew with a friend about 2 weeks prior. The morning after she was there she told me that they "just watched a movie". Well I come to find out that they were drinking, she gave her female friend a toppless back massage. The guy there that she knows gave her one and was grabbing her ass and thighs and she didn't do a thing to stop him. She also gave him a back massage but only on the back. She also told me she lied about a lot of small stuff. Stuff that didn't even matter. After I heard this I was confrontational and we talked about it. I left that night. She left about 4 texts that I didn't respond to. The next day she calls; basically I end up going over that night, "forgiving her" then f*ck her twice. We have a fun friday night as well. Last night I thought about it and decided why am I putting myself through this crap. So I texted her "(her name) listen i cant do this anymore. I can't be with someone I can't trust. I leave your key under you doormat".
She texts back with "are you sure" then "i don't want this to end please pick up when I call" she calls I don't pick up. I get out of work and head over, she's waiting outside. I open the window, hand her the key then say "i'm really didn't want it to be this way". She knocks my window with a sad look on her face but I drive off. She calls and texts non stop. I turn off my phone and when I get home and turn it back on, there are about 15 txts. Stuff like "im so sorry" "ill never do it again" " i love u" actually they where longer than that but you get the jist. She also texts that she thought one day we would be married. (i had a good laugh over this one, i would never ever dream of marrying her, even before she cheated). She left 3 voicemails just sobbing. I ignored all her calls and haven't made any contact since I drove off. She called me again this morning and I ignored it. Now here is my question. I know if I stay with her she will most likely cheat again. She is that type. But on the other hand, I'd rather her kiss a girl than a guy.

Now let me give you guys some significant info about myself. I am just as bad as her. I cheated on her with another girl. It was some 17 year old at a party. We made out and I was feeling her up. This was about 8 months in the relationship. The sad thing is, is that I did not even feel bad about it. The main reason I did it was because I knew about her past and decided to do it before she did it to me. I have also had phone sex with some chick online. I have lied to her about sooooooooo many things about my past. I to lied about the small stuff. I even lied about what I had for breakfast one morning. I am always keeping my options open. If some girl made an advance on me I would take it. I always thought of my girlfriend as someone to be with till I found someone better. No don't get me wrong, I loved this girl so much. She meant a lot to me and I do have a lot of fun with her. I don't have many friends so she was like my best friend to.
I was at a Halloween party and was flirting with a ton of girls. Even got some chicks number that was really into me. I texted her the next few days and had a date set up for Friday. She was really excited to go and I had full plans on making a move on her. Unfortunately, she has a boyfriend of 3 years. She’s 18. Now I did all of this stuff before I found out that she kissed this girl. So the big question is should I stay with this girl, just to hang out with and have sex with till I find another? The only reasons I see for not doing it is; I do have strong emotions for her and her cheating hurt. Also if I've got sex on tap I don't think I'll be as motivated to find someone else. But one things for sure; I 100% do not trust this girl at all. What would you guys do?
 

young_gun

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 9, 2004
Messages
557
Reaction score
9
I think you should let her go altogether.

Reputation gets around fast. You don't want to be the guy who people find out cheated on his girlfriend because that reputation will never, ever leave you.

The sex is probably good too - and will be hard to give up - but if you keep having sex with her, you will just end up back at square one. I personally know that it hurts to be cheated on, but it didn't sound like this was much of a relationship. I mean, you DID cheat on her too. Maybe you aren't ready for a committed relationship at this stage of your life, and if you are, this was definitely not the right girl for you. My opinion is that you should cut all ties and move on.

A relationship without trust isn't a relationship worth having.
 

silenthill

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2005
Messages
124
Reaction score
1
I'm not worried about the repuatation part, I don't talk to the people she knows, and she doesn't talk to the people I know.

I know what you mean and I know I should take your advice. I had made up my mind until an hour ago when I realized how much I'll miss having sex. Also I spend so much time with her she is also a good friend. I care about her, but at this point it wouldn't faze me if I broke her heart (well judging from last night I guess I did).

I think this is what I'm going to do: She hasn't contacted me since I ignored the last 30 calls and 50 txts. Last call was 8am this morning. I think she took the hint. If she doesn't call, I won't call her. But if she does, I'll be over there banging her brains out.
 

intrextrovert

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 30, 2008
Messages
186
Reaction score
1
Either establish an open relationship or get rid of her.

Though I'd try to use the fact that she's also into girls too....
 

silenthill

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2005
Messages
124
Reaction score
1
Yeah I know dude. I don't think I could handle a fully open relationship because I would get to jelous. I did tell her we should go to some swinger parties in the area and she seemed to be interested. Hell I'm 21, I should just be looking to have a good time
 

Sandow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 24, 2007
Messages
931
Reaction score
30
Location
CA
Because you only want her for sex, then there's no reason to be engaged in a relatiionship with her. You know whats going to happen if you leave? Exactly, she's going to want you more. And she will continue fvcking you.

Theres no reason to be in relationship just for the sex. If you stay with her, waht makes you think she's all of a sudden going to change and be faithful to you. She's not dude, she aint gonna change, the same shyt is gonna happen.

It's like waking up in the morning, you pour the milk in your cereal and realizing the milk has gone sour. Then you put in back in the fridge thinking it'll be ok tommorow.

Lastly, there are sooo many red flags with this chick! she cheated on her ex 10 times. Holy shyt bro! what are u thinking?? The only reason why u are with her is because shes probably hot and good in the sack. Don't get your emotions involved, she's just playing with you. And everyone else. She's damaged goods.
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 18, 2007
Messages
2,056
Reaction score
21
Location
USA
I didn't read your whole story. But, your title said enough for me. Don't fvck your ex just to fvck. And looking at what somone else mentioned she sounds like a hor. Forget about her and move on before you get sucked in any more.
 

sodbuster

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2008
Messages
2,579
Reaction score
378
Age
64
Location
South Dakota
From your description of yourself, I think you were made for each other- you both seem to be lying,cheating,b1tches. Maybe you should work on yourself before you think you deserve better. One of the reasons you aren't sure you deserve better than her is---you don't. You lie-she lies, you cheat-she cheats. If you were honest in dealing with her,not lying and cheating;then you deserve better and you wouldn't be here asking if you should keep her for sex. YOu would KNOW you deserve better and would go find it without worrying about sex or the lack of it.
 

puma183

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 21, 2008
Messages
147
Reaction score
7
Location
Midwest USA
If you stay, then you are a beta cuckold male. This mark will stay with you for a long time. Friends will whisper about it behind your back for many many years. It will follow you like a curse wherever you go. Strangers will smell it on you. If you are smart, you will dump her now.
 

Trajhenkhet01

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 8, 2008
Messages
66
Reaction score
2
It's hard to break ties with someone once you have them (unless you've been through this mini hell before). I would go for an open non committed relationship. However you have to conduct yourself in this manner. And above all else, use condoms.
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,036
Reaction score
5,625
Age
48
Location
midwestern cow field 40
Demand a threesome with her lesbo chick or some other bi chick freak. Tell her it will make everything ok. Fvck the hell out of both of them...and dump her the next day. btw, she will never stop calling you anyway. The sex will always be there if you want it.
 

Sandow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 24, 2007
Messages
931
Reaction score
30
Location
CA
DonGorgon said:
she is a ho... that you made ur girlfriend.. bad idea..
hahaha, like my uncle frankie used to say, "you can't make a ho a housewife."
 

Cashew

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 2, 2008
Messages
176
Reaction score
5
Walk away, end it, you aren't going to be able to keep it as a non-emotional thing...

the advice here is clearly better than that gicen in the thread you made at Loveshack.
 

DJ Shaka

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2008
Messages
37
Reaction score
1
silenthill said:
I had made up my mind until an hour ago when I realized how much I'll miss having sex.
:rolleyes:

Find a new girl to have sex with?
 

silenthill

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2005
Messages
124
Reaction score
1
You guys are right. I am done. She still tries to make contact, but I have not txted or picked up the phone. There are still too many emotions there to be able to see her again. I deleted/threw out everything that reminded me of her.

In one aspect though I feel kind of free. I dumped her, with her begging for me to take her back. That feels waaay better than being dumped. She'll always be wondering what could of happened. If I 100% knew she would be faithful, I would stay with her, but that's like asking a lepord to get rid of their spots. I only cheated because I had a very good feeling it was eventually going to happen to me. Not to sound ****y but I really was a great boyfriend. I was definitely not the kiss ass type and she loved that but I could also be very sweet.

We have been through a lot. She had an abortion about this time last year and we have spent so much time together. She is history in my mind and I'm not going to dwell on it. All of those sh*tty feelings about all the men she's been with are gone and the stupid stuff she used to do as a teen (drugs) are gone. I no longer care anymore.

I'm not jumping to get into a relationship right away so I'm just going to meet as many girls as possible. Going out to the club tonight after work :up:
 

young_gun

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 9, 2004
Messages
557
Reaction score
9
Sorry, but you weren't a really great boyfriend if you cheated on her, no matter how justified it was in your mind.

But that's beside the point. Glad you've decided to move on.
 
Top