"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Girlfriend acting mad at me for acting like an a*s, when it's her who is the as*hole

shark

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My GF acted a little mad at me for being an ass. I kinda striked back saying she was the one being the real as*hole as she didnt call me ( i didnt either) for like 3 nights, then when i got back i didn't call her (her cell was broken, and in order to call her house i wouldve had to call a friend which would seem desperate). She suggested i shouldve asked her friend for her house and i was lke..are you kididng you coudlve called me from your house since i had my cell. thats ALOT easier.

Then she hung up on me a few times when she was babysitting and fighting with her sister but then she apoligzed. I was with some of my friends and we were talking for 15 minutes so i said i was gonna go, and she started sayin how she hates me and doesnt want to talk but instead she wants to see me so badly..on and on for a minute or 2 then before i can talk she hangs up again. Now she has an away message notifier only that says she is mad at me.

I REALLY like her so i can't just next her..instead should i give in to her as this is all kinda silly? Or do i fight for my position...how do i handle this ****?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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azn_alex

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LOL im in almost the exact same position

this girl is cheating on her bf with me, and last week she stopped calling me, so i stopped talking to her altogether. now shes real pissed off at me for nothing basically

how u handle it? act like u're fine without her, continue life as per normal and then she will break eventually

if u meant something to her, she wont just forget about u that easily
 

Alphathree

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Do NOT tolerate this bull****. Do not "Fight for your position"

It's really simple. She's disrespecting you, and you're going to ask plain-as-day for an apology. You're not going to demand one. Just ask.

If she doesn't want to give you one, then politely suggest that maybe she needs more time to think about how she's been treating you.

DO NOT do ANY of this with a VENGEANCE. Do it matter of factly, seductively even. But not with anger.
 

shark

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well she's mad at me, and she even suggested that she wasn't sure if I had the balls to call her house phone (with her family who can answer it). Do I call her today or what?
 

Alphathree

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Originally posted by shark
well she's mad at me, and she even suggested that she wasn't sure if I had the balls to call her house phone (with her family who can answer it). Do I call her today or what?
Ignore. There's no reason to let some woman push you around.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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josh1

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DON'T !
Continue your life normal without her, she'll come back.
 

shark

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I'm pretty sure she wants me to call her. The thing is, this isn't a girl i'm willing to next. I know her, and she will become even more angry if i don't call or initiate convo somehow. I just want to be on good terms and forget this whole thing, being on bad terms is just making me sick.
 

The Bad Ass Canadian

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My advice would be to call her, but not to make up.. tell her that she is being completly unreasonable, you won't stand for it. and that a simple apology on her part will suffice.

This is really kinda stupid.... think about it. She's pissed over a phone call that didn't happen. big deal..

I just lost a bit of intelligence, replying to this, I think
 

Alphathree

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Originally posted by shark
I'm pretty sure she wants me to call her. The thing is, this isn't a girl i'm willing to next. I know her, and she will become even more angry if i don't call or initiate convo somehow. I just want to be on good terms and forget this whole thing, being on bad terms is just making me sick.
This ISN'T a girl you're WILLING to NEXT?

Dude, seriously, get off the this board and out of the PUA community. Go ask some AFCs for advice.

I don't mean to be overly harsh, but we can't help you.

Your position is one of fear, desparation, and neediness.

When this relationship ends, and it will eventually, SHE will next YOU. You will then be in a very sour position indeed and wish you had taken our advice right now.
 

shark

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Originally posted by Alphathree
This ISN'T a girl you're WILLING to NEXT?

Dude, seriously, get off the this board and out of the PUA community. Go ask some AFCs for advice.

I don't mean to be overly harsh, but we can't help you.

Your position is one of fear, desparation, and neediness.

When this relationship ends, and it will eventually, SHE will next YOU. You will then be in a very sour position indeed and wish you had taken our advice right now.
So, you have a girlfriend and things are great. You have one fight, thats pretty stupid...and you reccomend nexting her. This isn't a girl i went out with a few times, it's my girlfriend of about
2 1/2 months. I think this situation can be easily taken care of, and i'm just seeking the best way to do so. You don't just next a girl for any little thing...

Sure, i'd next the girl if we were just hookinhup...but since its my girlfriend and feelings are involved i'm just not into that over this little, stupid fight. You still disagree? I can't see it logical to end a relationship b/c of this.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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The Bad Ass Canadian

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he's not saying end the relationship.

He means that you need to be of a mindset where no matter what, you should be able to just walk away. It can hurt alot, but you have to be a man and just do it, sometimes....Believe me, I went through this 2 months ago.

I walked on a girl I was absolutley in love with, and she with me... but some things were just beyond repair so I walked with my pride and my balls in hand.

No, this isn't a situation where you should just next her... but you gotta stop being a little pansy about it. This is a sh!t test... it really is, and you're supplicating to her...... she really wants you to put her in her place and call her B.S..... though she'd never tell you. She wants to know that you can keep your composure and handle it LIKE A MAN
 

Alphathree

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Originally posted by shark
So, you have a girlfriend and things are great. You have one fight, thats pretty stupid...and you reccomend nexting her. This isn't a girl i went out with a few times, it's my girlfriend of about
2 1/2 months. I think this situation can be easily taken care of, and i'm just seeking the best way to do so. You don't just next a girl for any little thing...

Sure, i'd next the girl if we were just hookinhup...but since its my girlfriend and feelings are involved i'm just not into that over this little, stupid fight. You still disagree? I can't see it logical to end a relationship b/c of this.
You don't have to END the relationship

You have to be WILLING to end it.

Go read my posts in this thread. No where did I say "break up with her".

But the things I recommend do require an inner game that says, "well, if this gets bad, I *have the strength* to break up with her".

If you don't have that strength, you are nothing but her slave for as long as she wants you.
 

shark

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If things got bad, and it was like this all the time..i have more respect for myself and I would end it. I wouldn't be able to take disrespect and stuff like that so yeah, i'd be willing to end it...but NOT to end it for THIS SPECIFIC incident.

I just fear finding someone who will meet my standards like she does. (her looks, social status is perfect for me). This is my first girlfriend, b/c i am so dam picky. But i WOULD end it, just not for this is what im trying to say.
 

Lost In Translation

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shark
she started sayin how she hates me

what do you think she means by that ?

shark
then before i can talk she hangs up again

a pattern. what does her DISRESPECTFUL behaviour mean ?

shark
I wouldn't be able to take disrespect and stuff

how is hanging up on you all the time not disrespectful ?

ask yourself what is going through a young womans mind when she plays this GAME

it is a sick power trip. it makes her feel POWERFUL. it is also a test to see what you reaction will be.

like a small child being naughty she is testing her limits

HOW MUCH CAN SHE GET AWAY WITH

you smack the child and let them know their boundaries

woman WANT boundaries and they play this GAME as way of looking for a MAN strong enough to control them

BE THAT MAN or she will find someone who fits the bill


Lost In Translation :D

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**
 

Big Eee Zee

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Originally posted by azn_alex
LOL im in almost the exact same position

this girl is cheating on her bf with me, and last week she stopped calling me, so i stopped talking to her altogether. now shes real pissed off at me for nothing basically

how u handle it? act like u're fine without her, continue life as per normal and then she will break eventually

if u meant something to her, she wont just forget about u that easily

Low dude...

Don't be such a b!tch, get your own girl. Friggin' lowlife.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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ikkenai

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Originally posted by Alphathree
This ISN'T a girl you're WILLING to NEXT?

Dude, seriously, get off the this board and out of the PUA community. Go ask some AFCs for advice.

I don't mean to be overly harsh, but we can't help you.

Your position is one of fear, desparation, and neediness.

When this relationship ends, and it will eventually, SHE will next YOU. You will then be in a very sour position indeed and wish you had taken our advice right now.
Listen to this man.
 

shark

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**Update--she left me a message and called me and said that it was a joke b/c she wanted to see me so badly last nite..and honestally that is what it sounded like when she was telling me she hated me in her whiney voice. I told her alot of people asked me about it and i just told her and them that i kinda knew it was nothing. Anyway, she said something about hanging up on me like she was sorry and i said somehwat jokingly that she was an ******* and she kinda laugped and was like yah i know. She thinks its all funny that people thought we were really in a fight and wants me to play along and make a message like i hate her too. She told me she loved me and just needs and needed to see me so badly and wants to tonight and will find a way even though she is not supposed to be allowed out.

MY QUESTION---do i bring up the issue and tell her how she disrespected me and ask for an apology? Or do i kinda just brush it off, and if something were to ever come up like this again i bring it up.
 

BigFoot

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She obviously likes you alot and is having problems dealing with that. Just forget about the incident - I'm sure there will be other issues between the two of you, and so what - if the fundamentals are good those things don't matter.
 
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