Girl withheld information from me

[Aeterna]

So I’m 26 and met this 28 year old female from Hinge.

She’s White and Egyptian. She’s ridiculously cute, feminine, and amazing personality.

I met up with her for drinks two weeks ago. Had the best date ever. She insists on paying for the drinks.

She invites me to her place and we had mind blowing sex.

She then reaches back out to me the following week for drinks and we had great sex again. I’m thinking to myself I may have something here.

Today, I messaged her to come get dinner and drinks. We have another amazing date and we go back to her place to have sex again.

As soon as I put on the condom, she tells me “I have something that I need to tell you, I have herpes”. She also said that she is on medication and hasn’t had an outbreak in months.

I sat there stunned and silent. I asked her how did she get it. She said that she was sexually assaulted last summer after coming home from a bar drunk. She stated that she contracted the herpes when with a random guy who had sex with her without a condom.

After she finished her story, I put back on my clothes, gave her a hug, and left without saying anything.

I honestly don’t know how to feel right now. Obviously I’m angry about the fact that I had sex with her multiple times and that she didn’t feel the need to tell me which comes off as selfish.

I kinda of just want to see if any of you guys had an experience like this.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

FYI if she doesn't have an active outbreak you can't catch anything.

 

[Georgepithyou]

FYI if she doesn't have an active outbreak you can't catch anything.

Op should still get tested, better safe then sorry

 

[Black Widow Void]

If in your shoes, I'm sure that I'd have the same reaction.

In view of her confessing after the fact, she doesn't deserve a lot of credibility. However, she does deserve a light amount and this is due to volunteering the information - rather than saying nothing or you hearing this 2nd hand.

If me, I'd probably thank her for her (belated) honesty but also explain that her with holding this info was a deal-breaker.

Even if they don't have an outbreak, do you really want to take that chance?

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

FYI if she doesn't have an active outbreak you can't catch anything.

Bullshlt !!

You prolly have it and are rationalizing it to keep being irresponsible.

Viral shedding is real and also how I contracted it.

It wasn’t until I had felt a funny looking zit that burned and itched where I went to the doctor and insisted the Dr. swab it after the lesion erupted. This took a couple of visits.

Fortunately it was not on my gentials but more on the lower abdomen above my mons pubis.

She initially said that it was nothing and that that I had nothing to worry about. Well the lab came back first negative, I asked to do it again to verify and then it came back positive.

It was only after I had contacted the ex-partner (with a new one at the time) to inform her and that she should get tested, did she say, ‘oh yeah, I forgot to mention that a prior hook-up told me he had it but it was ok because there was no active outbreak. She had no typical symptoms of hsv-1 or hsv-2.

She did have a small rash on her upper abdomen by her ribs, which never contacted where my outbreak first occurred.

To make matters even more painful was that she did not disclose even after I told her prior to hooking up that 7yrs prior I was with a partner for ~10yrs, that had it.

This prior partner gave me the choice, before we hooked up. Little did I know how much profound joy, pleasure and the elevation of my life were to be had with her in the following years. Traveled, lived in mansions, driven in chauffeured personal limos, threw formals, and had sexual experiences that set the bar higher than I even could ever have imagined.

All through the relationship we were responsible in managing her outbreaks and I had not contracted it, even after we broke up, Blood test confirmed and verified.


Fast forward to after we broke up, I always disclosed to new partners my history so that they too could have choice and agency.

It’s all about integrity. As a man you have it or you don’t. If you don’t you are not a man and still a boy.

Every single potential partner appreciated it and not one declined to take things further, we’re talking dozens of women. When sexually active, I get tested regularly and it’s part of my screening protocol. It’s just a cleaner way to play it.

Back to the Dr., she said that this prior ex-partner, even after 10yrs of me being clean with bloodwork, could have still been the one to have transmitted to me.

Truth is, transmission is still not deeply understood and that’s why the term ‘viral shedding’ was coined.

I know this all sounds heavy, that you were dealt the ****tiest hand ever and the feeling of betrayal might be something you can/cannot get over. It is an emotional rollercoaster.

I understand your dilemma, I understand her strategy. Someone prolly told her the same bullshlt advice as the post above.
She’s also a scared human being, take all that into account.

The responsible thing to do is get bloodwork and take precautions like you have contracted it.

Be a man, get certainty.


I’ll post more later about the bright side for there is hope.

 

[MrWood]

She said that she was sexually assaulted last summer after coming home from a bar drunk. She stated that she contracted the herpes when with a random guy who had sex with her without a condom.

a slut that wont accept responsibility

 

[jaymbrs]

What did you expect? You met her on a free dating app and she instantly put out for you.

 

[The Duke]

I wouldn't believe any of her story.